The Job Search Woes Thread

[BostonBeaneater]

I know the feeling well. Got laid off in February of 2009 and was trying to find work in the construction industry. I busted my ass off every day before flukishly getting a job six months later. I had just run out of unemployment benefits and was going to have to move...somewhere. Anyway, my only advice is be active every day in your hunt, but take time for yourself. You can't click refresh on the craigslist want ads all day long. I went out and was working at the food bank twice a week which made me feel less worthless.

He's right. You have to make the most of your time. In my case I didn't go to the food bank. I went to the bar at 10:30 AM, got lit, and beat up sleeping hobos.

99% of my unemployment went to rent and food, so I didn't make it to the bar much. If I did, I usually downed a two-buck Chuck beforehand so as to not buy much when I went out. Assaulting sleeping hobos costs $0 though, so that works.

You should have rolled a few hobos. All that begging leads to pockets full of cash.

[matedog]

I know the feeling well. Got laid off in February of 2009 and was trying to find work in the construction industry. I busted my ass off every day before flukishly getting a job six months later. I had just run out of unemployment benefits and was going to have to move...somewhere. Anyway, my only advice is be active every day in your hunt, but take time for yourself. You can't click refresh on the craigslist want ads all day long. I went out and was working at the food bank twice a week which made me feel less worthless.

He's right. You have to make the most of your time. In my case I didn't go to the food bank. I went to the bar at 10:30 AM, got lit, and beat up sleeping hobos.

99% of my unemployment went to rent and food, so I didn't make it to the bar much. If I did, I usually downed a two-buck Chuck beforehand so as to not buy much when I went out. Assaulting sleeping hobos costs $0 though, so that works.

You should have rolled a few hobos. All that begging leads to pockets full of cash.

[Dr. Medulla]

You should have rolled a few hobos. All that begging leads to pockets full of cash.

It's true. I was watching Sean Hannity the other day, and he said that the so-called homeless are America's real 1%, ripping off taxpayers and scamming bleeding heart liberals. Then at the end of the day, they get free meals and free beds, while they spend all that money on drugs. Meanwhile, real Americans are working harder and barely getting by because of these bums.

[Mimi]

I know the feeling well. Got laid off in February of 2009 and was trying to find work in the construction industry. I busted my ass off every day before flukishly getting a job six months later. I had just run out of unemployment benefits and was going to have to move...somewhere. Anyway, my only advice is be active every day in your hunt, but take time for yourself. You can't click refresh on the craigslist want ads all day long. I went out and was working at the food bank twice a week which made me feel less worthless.

That's good advice. Thanks.

[revbob]

You should have rolled a few hobos. All that begging leads to pockets full of cash.

It's true. I was watching Sean Hannity the other day, and he said that the so-called homeless are America's real 1%, ripping off taxpayers and scamming bleeding heart liberals. Then at the end of the day, they get free meals and free beds, while they spend all that money on drugs. Meanwhile, real Americans are working harder and barely getting by because of these bums.

Yeah they also stand on corners and at freeway exit ramps bumming for change then at the end of the day they get in their Mercedes parked around the corner and drive off to their mansions for champagne and caviar followed by all night coke fueled orgies. It's true this guy told me about it.

[Mimi]

Things I wish companies would think about when potential employees apply for a job online:

1. If you demand a resume, that's all you get.

2. If you want more than just a resume, state it up front so we can be prepared to fill out a complete application.

3. Really, though, just pick one or the other. For retails jobs, an application makes sense. For something like a tech job, a resume/cover letter should be aces.

4. Quit with the personality tests. If you think people don't know how to work around those things, you should stay off the internet.

5. The process to apply shouldn't take more than half an hour.

Any others?

[Kory]

Things I wish companies would think about when potential employees apply for a job online:

1. If you demand a resume, that's all you get.

2. If you want more than just a resume, state it up front so we can be prepared to fill out a complete application.

3. Really, though, just pick one or the other. For retails jobs, an application makes sense. For something like a tech job, a resume/cover letter should be aces.

4. Quit with the personality tests. If you think people don't know how to work around those things, you should stay off the internet.

5. The process to apply shouldn't take more than half an hour.

Any others?

Big one for me: specify whether "no calls, please" also means "no emails, please." I was always taught that employers appreciate somebody that follows up, but that seems to be less and less true these days.

[Wolter]

Things I wish companies would think about when potential employees apply for a job online:

1. If you demand a resume, that's all you get.

2. If you want more than just a resume, state it up front so we can be prepared to fill out a complete application.

3. Really, though, just pick one or the other. For retails jobs, an application makes sense. For something like a tech job, a resume/cover letter should be aces.

4. Quit with the personality tests. If you think people don't know how to work around those things, you should stay off the internet.

5. The process to apply shouldn't take more than half an hour.

Any others?

Big one for me: specify whether "no calls, please" also means "no emails, please." I was always taught that employers appreciate somebody that follows up, but that seems to be less and less true these days.

All of these.

#2 is the fucking worst. Especially when I have JUST uploaded a resume, and they ask all the questions it would have answered. WHY DO YOU WANT BOTH?

Oh, and I spent nearly a half-hour on a job site filling out an application, and when I hit submit, it said the position was already filled. MAYBE SAY THAT UP FRONT?

[Dr. Medulla]

Part of all those hoops, I suspect, is to make it easier to reject candidates out of hand. If a company gets, say, 500 applications, they don't want to read all 500. Anything that can be done to funnel the pile into a smaller and smaller number that gets actual attention is desirable. Making people jump thru extra hoops can separate the serious from non-serious or, like the Van Halen red M & M rider, seeing whether people have actually read the instructions is another way to shrink numbers. It doesn't mean the company actually gets the best candidates on the short list, only that it makes the hiring process less time-intensive.

[Wolter]

Oh: another peeve. Every time I apply to enough jobs online, I get sent unsolicited emails from insurance companies for sales positions that I absolutely do not want and am not looking for. If I wanted a damn commission-based sales job, that would be what I was applying for.

[Wolter]

Part of all those hoops, I suspect, is to make it easier to reject candidates out of hand. If a company gets, say, 500 applications, they don't want to read all 500. Anything that can be done to funnel the pile into a smaller and smaller number that gets actual attention is desirable. Making people jump thru extra hoops can separate the serious from non-serious or, like the Van Halen red M & M rider, seeing whether people have actually read the instructions is another way to shrink numbers. It doesn't mean the company actually gets the best candidates on the short list, only that it makes the hiring process less time-intensive.

But having worked in a hiring position before, it's actually fairly easy to reject a resume out of hand.

[Dr. Medulla]

Part of all those hoops, I suspect, is to make it easier to reject candidates out of hand. If a company gets, say, 500 applications, they don't want to read all 500. Anything that can be done to funnel the pile into a smaller and smaller number that gets actual attention is desirable. Making people jump thru extra hoops can separate the serious from non-serious or, like the Van Halen red M & M rider, seeing whether people have actually read the instructions is another way to shrink numbers. It doesn't mean the company actually gets the best candidates on the short list, only that it makes the hiring process less time-intensive.

But having worked in a hiring position before, it's actually fairly easy to reject a resume out of hand.

The point is, however, if they can eliminate a candidate without even looking at the resume, that's all the better from their point of view. It's about making the hiring process as time efficient as possible, an 0 seconds is always better than even 15 seconds. Just like SAT scores—cut off everyone below a certain number means never wasting time looking at them as individuals.

[JennyB]

Part of all those hoops, I suspect, is to make it easier to reject candidates out of hand. If a company gets, say, 500 applications, they don't want to read all 500. Anything that can be done to funnel the pile into a smaller and smaller number that gets actual attention is desirable. Making people jump thru extra hoops can separate the serious from non-serious or, like the Van Halen red M & M rider, seeing whether people have actually read the instructions is another way to shrink numbers. It doesn't mean the company actually gets the best candidates on the short list, only that it makes the hiring process less time-intensive.

But having worked in a hiring position before, it's actually fairly easy to reject a resume out of hand.

The point is, however, if they can eliminate a candidate without even looking at the resume, that's all the better from their point of view. It's about making the hiring process as time efficient as possible, an 0 seconds is always better than even 15 seconds. Just like SAT scores—cut off everyone below a certain number means never wasting time looking at them as individuals.

I did once immediately dismiss a candidate because their resume was written in comic sans.

I think the most effective follow-up is a hand written thank you note. A pain in the ass and sycophantish, but effective.

[Silent Majority]

Part of all those hoops, I suspect, is to make it easier to reject candidates out of hand. If a company gets, say, 500 applications, they don't want to read all 500. Anything that can be done to funnel the pile into a smaller and smaller number that gets actual attention is desirable. Making people jump thru extra hoops can separate the serious from non-serious or, like the Van Halen red M & M rider, seeing whether people have actually read the instructions is another way to shrink numbers. It doesn't mean the company actually gets the best candidates on the short list, only that it makes the hiring process less time-intensive.

But having worked in a hiring position before, it's actually fairly easy to reject a resume out of hand.

The point is, however, if they can eliminate a candidate without even looking at the resume, that's all the better from their point of view. It's about making the hiring process as time efficient as possible, an 0 seconds is always better than even 15 seconds. Just like SAT scores—cut off everyone below a certain number means never wasting time looking at them as individuals.

I did once immediately dismiss a candidate because their resume was written in comic sans.

I'm glad I didn't get that job.

[JennyB]

Part of all those hoops, I suspect, is to make it easier to reject candidates out of hand. If a company gets, say, 500 applications, they don't want to read all 500. Anything that can be done to funnel the pile into a smaller and smaller number that gets actual attention is desirable. Making people jump thru extra hoops can separate the serious from non-serious or, like the Van Halen red M & M rider, seeing whether people have actually read the instructions is another way to shrink numbers. It doesn't mean the company actually gets the best candidates on the short list, only that it makes the hiring process less time-intensive.

But having worked in a hiring position before, it's actually fairly easy to reject a resume out of hand.

The point is, however, if they can eliminate a candidate without even looking at the resume, that's all the better from their point of view. It's about making the hiring process as time efficient as possible, an 0 seconds is always better than even 15 seconds. Just like SAT scores—cut off everyone below a certain number means never wasting time looking at them as individuals.

I did once immediately dismiss a candidate because their resume was written in comic sans.

I'm glad I didn't get that job.

Hey, I was good to the people I supervised! I let them leave early and bought them lots of snacks!