A passage from Plato's lost dialogue
Posted: 04 Mar 2010, 1:31am
From Plato's Hoydides:
Mateus: I have entered sexual relations with ΓΘ δʹ.
Ioannes: By the gods!
Socrates: Is that the barbarian from the east?
Mateus: It is. Yet I feel guilt for I am only engaging in intercourse with her out of convenience. Though she is comely and sweet of temperament, she does not stoke the passions.
Ioannes: Mateus is ravishing a barbarian girl? I hear there is an oracle in Delphi as well.
Mateus: Ioannes, your statement is apt, and my own sentiment mirrors it. However, she made herself available to my pleasure, and yet I can muster but meager appetites.
Flexides: You betray all the Hellenes with your intercourse.
Mateus: I curse you in return, by Zeus.
Ioannes: Is not the purity of the Hellenes my concern, Flexides?
Socrates: I would say you have mustered a sufficient plow to furrow her fields.
Flexides: By that Socrates means your member.
Mateus: I assent.
Ioannes: Hear, hear, Socrates!
Mateus: Yesterday during intercourse, she did issue from her pudenda. I never before have counted this among my experiences.
Socrates: Has it come to your attention, O Mateus, that such secretion is urine?
Mateus: The fluid entered my mouth.
Socrates: It is urine, Mateus, and that is a certainty.
Flexides: Still your tongue!
Mateus: α;αλσκδιφασλδκιφ
Socrates: Urine entered your mouth, Mateus.
Mateus: It cannot be.
Flexides: Yes, Socrates has it right.
Mateus: Is it certain? I know that it is depicted on the walls of the public baths, but surely such a secretion may be a peculiar humor and not urine?
Socrates: It is affirmed by the physicians that it is so. It is urine, Mateus, which issued from the bladder and thence to your mouth.
Mateus: By Pallas Athena! And the barbarian girl will desire again that I take the pleasure of her with my mouth for near a quarter of the hour, and again she will urinate into my mouth.
Flexides: That it is urine cannot be denied. It may be wise for you to consume an ale or wine.
Socrates: I agree with Flexides. To restore a proper balance of the oral humors, you must irrigate the mouth with ale.
Mateus: Hold there, Socrates. I read in the papyrus of Wikides that such an ejaculation may not issue from the bladder.
Socrates: The majority of physicians have concluded that it issues from the bladder.
Ioannes: Wikides is of no consequence. The fluid is urine, and the argument concerns the concentration of the urine, as to its hue from golden to transparent, but not its essence as urine.
Socrates: Ioannes has this correct, though it differs in manner from a simple urination. No matter the tone of it, it is urine.
Mateus: I did not consume the fluid!
Socrates: Urophage!