The Thread to Ruminate About Mike Love's Rape Van

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Dr. Medulla
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Re: The Thread to Ruminate About Mike Love's Rape Van

Post by Dr. Medulla »

Flex wrote:
26 Sep 2022, 12:52pm
Yeah, a great example of a band still putting out music roughly as good as when they started. The elite. :cool:
And as long as the cut of the gate is sufficient, Mike would welcome Wattie onto the stage to do a medley of "Surfin' USA" / "Dead Cities" / "Do It Again."
"I never doubted myself for a minute for I knew that my monkey-strong bowels were girded with strength, like the loins of a dragon ribboned with fat and the opulence of buffalo dung." - Richard Nixon, Checkers Speech, abandoned early draft

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Re: The Thread to Ruminate About Mike Love's Rape Van

Post by Flex »

Dr. Medulla wrote:
26 Sep 2022, 1:02pm
Flex wrote:
26 Sep 2022, 12:52pm
Yeah, a great example of a band still putting out music roughly as good as when they started. The elite. :cool:
And as long as the cut of the gate is sufficient, Mike would welcome Wattie onto the stage to do a medley of "Surfin' USA" / "Dead Cities" / "Do It Again."
I would unironically pay almost any amount of money to see that
Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle like a bowl of soup
Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle like a rolling hoop
Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle like a ton of lead
Wiggle - you can raise the dead

Pex Lives!

Dr. Medulla
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Re: The Thread to Ruminate About Mike Love's Rape Van

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Flex wrote:
26 Sep 2022, 1:12pm
Dr. Medulla wrote:
26 Sep 2022, 1:02pm
Flex wrote:
26 Sep 2022, 12:52pm
Yeah, a great example of a band still putting out music roughly as good as when they started. The elite. :cool:
And as long as the cut of the gate is sufficient, Mike would welcome Wattie onto the stage to do a medley of "Surfin' USA" / "Dead Cities" / "Do It Again."
I would unironically pay almost any amount of money to see that
Acid mixed with rat poison and snot is cheaper and might not have as many long-term negative health effects.

(But I'm with you.)
"I never doubted myself for a minute for I knew that my monkey-strong bowels were girded with strength, like the loins of a dragon ribboned with fat and the opulence of buffalo dung." - Richard Nixon, Checkers Speech, abandoned early draft

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Re: The Thread to Ruminate About Mike Love's Rape Van

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 1990's "Somewhere Near Japan" from The Beach Boys 1989 album "Still Cruisin'"
Lead Vocal - Mike Love, Carl Wilson, Al Jardine, Bruce Johnston

Let's be real, Al's "Island Girl" and the very dated Brian tune "In My Car" are the best two songs on the Still Cruisin' album (except the collosal "Kokomo" of course). After the single "Still Cruisin'" failed to impress, the band had enough Kokomomentum for a third single off the album. Instead of the two aforementioned solidly decent songs, Mike went with one of the two remaining songs he had a hand in writing by going with "Somewhere Near Japan." 

Mike presumably employed the same songwriting method he used for "Kokomo": hooking up with Melcher to mine wretched John Phillips demos. This time he found another woeful tune, "Fairy Tale Girl":
Bruce Johnston tags along in the writing process, making his first appearance since the aurally egregious "Happy Endings." Will the final result be "Kokomo" levels of excellence or "Happy Endings" level of cultural misery? Let's find out... 

 Lyrics: 
Oh boy.

Uh, so the song is about John Phillips' daughter Mackenzie begging him for drug money and him giving her the drug money. As you may remember, Mackenzie also claims that her father repeatedly raped her throughout her life, often in conjunction with drug use, even resulting in a pregnancy that she had to abort. It's very very hard not to think about that when listening to this song. So yeah, I'm kind of missing "Still Cruisin's" over the hill lame lyrics right about now. 

Music: Ugh, a gong opens the track followed by some even more stereotypical "oriental" chiming riffs. This is basically the musical equivalent of Mickey Rooney's character in "Breakfast at Tiffany's." The percussion remains tastefully light and then a soft rock guitar fill reeking of cheese cues a transition. Mike enters with what I guess is the chorus, or at least a refrain because it occurs twice in the song. Mike, Carl, and Bruce play vocal hot potato randomly starting and finishing lines before Carl does something like a verse. Unfortunately, he's in smooth rock cooing voice, not ballsy belter mode. There's another repeat of the two part refrain and sorta verse before a boring ass instrumental. The relative highlight of the song is a fully committed verse by Al who gets his first meaty feature in a single in ages. The song fades out with the "rescue me" refrain. 

Video: First real low res upload in awhile. This continues the Japanese caricatures of the backing music with various Japanese women being awkwardly presented. I keep waiting for a voice over, "come explore the exotic beauty of the far east" of some vaguely sex touristy video. We have returned to "classy" black and white last seen on the superior California Dreamin' video with tasteful flashes of color. Can't forget the dead Japanese woman draped over a tv at the 2:18 mark. They lean heavily on the Japan theme even though Mackenzie was apparently stuck in Guam. 

Song grade: D- If not for the rape allegations, I might have admired the "parents still care about their kids even when they are fuck ups" lyrical theme. Particularly with how unlike the rest of the Beach Boys catalog this is at the time. But yeah, it's really uncomfortable thinking, "Oh he's getting drugs for his daughter, just like when he raped her." Pair that with the pretty offensive stereotypical "exotic oriental sounds of the far east" musical backing and you have a rough song that is problematic in all sorts of ways. Al saves this from being Happy Endings bad, but not by much. 

Video grade: D+ It's pretty offensive, but at least it sticks to a theme, tries to match the vibe of the song, and I don't have to see Bruce pretend to play keyboards while wearing shorts.

Choice Youtube Comment: "My God radio should be BITCH SLAPPED for not playing this record... It's sOOOOOOOO much better than Kokocrap. Wonderfully written lyrics and just a stellar singing performance from mike and carl. The metaphors in this song are just too cool......" - metrobilbao
Brian status - He's kinda here. Not on the song as far as I can tell, but he's in the video apparently shot separately from the band making some really really pained expressions. This is near the end of the Landy tenure, so I guess the idea was to be a part of the band without actually being a part of the band.
Mike Love venom - He's a distant second to John Phillips on the villains of this song. 

Next week - Hopefully less incest rape issues with their soundtrack finale "Problem Child."
Look, you have to establish context for these things. And I maintain that unless you appreciate the Fall of Constantinople, the Great Fire of London, and Mickey Mantle's fatalist alcoholism, live Freddy makes no sense. If you want to half-ass it, fine, go call Simon Schama to do the appendix.

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Re: The Thread to Ruminate About Mike Love's Rape Van

Post by Dr. Medulla »

"Kokomomentum": Equal parts :yuck: and :lol:

This shit is so creepy and awful I can't offer any other comment.

However, I hope you know how much I've come to look forward to these analyses (first KISS, now BBs). It's consistently solid work—thoughtful and irreverent, the perfect combination. Like, if this were substacked, I'd pay for it. When you're done with the BBs, I'd love to read your analyses of Broooooooose videos.
"I never doubted myself for a minute for I knew that my monkey-strong bowels were girded with strength, like the loins of a dragon ribboned with fat and the opulence of buffalo dung." - Richard Nixon, Checkers Speech, abandoned early draft

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Re: The Thread to Ruminate About Mike Love's Rape Van

Post by Flex »

God dammit Hoy, I had never really read the lyrics closely or knew the John Phillips credit. This song should probably be illegal.

Seconding Doc's praise, these reviews are genuinely crucial examinations of the beach boys worst artistic period. It's made me hate the era even more!

Also, I think I was thinking of Island Girl when I said I remembered this song being decent. It was an Al lead vocal that I recalled, so that must have been it.
Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle like a bowl of soup
Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle like a rolling hoop
Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle like a ton of lead
Wiggle - you can raise the dead

Pex Lives!

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Re: The Thread to Ruminate About Mike Love's Rape Van

Post by matedog »

Thanks guys. I don’t have a ton of writing experience so I try to spend a good amount of time on these in terms of the write ups as well as the research.
Look, you have to establish context for these things. And I maintain that unless you appreciate the Fall of Constantinople, the Great Fire of London, and Mickey Mantle's fatalist alcoholism, live Freddy makes no sense. If you want to half-ass it, fine, go call Simon Schama to do the appendix.

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Re: The Thread to Ruminate About Mike Love's Rape Van

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Yes indeed on the creepy lyrics. Whenever I hear this song (which is thankfully not too often) I think of John Phillips.
"They don't think it be like it is, but it do." - Oscar Gamble

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Re: The Thread to Ruminate About Mike Love's Rape Van

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matedog wrote:
12 Sep 2022, 5:06pm
I really need WWK or Flex to chime in here as they are the BB nerds.
Chime in on Kokomo? I don't hate it. Compared to the other trash they were putting out at this time, it's decent enough. It's not good, but graded on a curve, it's listenable. I believe it was also my first real taste of the Beach Boys - as it hit the airwaves when I was an impressionable 11 year old (and the song was seemingly everywhere). Carl's vocal kicks ass. Mike doesn't sound to nasally. The overall vocal mix is good. The sax solo even kind of works. I know Mike likes to crow and crow about how awesome this song was. Hey, don't forget he also wrote a #1 hit single ;) .
"They don't think it be like it is, but it do." - Oscar Gamble

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Re: The Thread to Ruminate About Mike Love's Rape Van

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Image
People shit on Mike Love, but he did win four Super Bowls.
"I never doubted myself for a minute for I knew that my monkey-strong bowels were girded with strength, like the loins of a dragon ribboned with fat and the opulence of buffalo dung." - Richard Nixon, Checkers Speech, abandoned early draft

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Re: The Thread to Ruminate About Mike Love's Rape Van

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Dr. Medulla wrote:
02 Oct 2022, 7:31pm
Image
People shit on Mike Love, but he did win four Super Bowls.
He needs one for the thumb in 81.

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Re: The Thread to Ruminate About Mike Love's Rape Van

Post by Dr. Medulla »

revbob wrote:
02 Oct 2022, 7:44pm
Dr. Medulla wrote:
02 Oct 2022, 7:31pm
Image
People shit on Mike Love, but he did win four Super Bowls.
He needs one for the thumb in 81.
That'd be nice, but he'd rather talk about how many copies "Kokomo" sold.
"I never doubted myself for a minute for I knew that my monkey-strong bowels were girded with strength, like the loins of a dragon ribboned with fat and the opulence of buffalo dung." - Richard Nixon, Checkers Speech, abandoned early draft

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Re: The Thread to Ruminate About Mike Love's Rape Van

Post by WestwayKid »

Dr. Medulla wrote:
02 Oct 2022, 8:18pm
revbob wrote:
02 Oct 2022, 7:44pm
Dr. Medulla wrote:
02 Oct 2022, 7:31pm
Image
People shit on Mike Love, but he did win four Super Bowls.
He needs one for the thumb in 81.
That'd be nice, but he'd rather talk about how many copies "Kokomo" sold.
Did you know it went to #1? ;)
"They don't think it be like it is, but it do." - Oscar Gamble

Dr. Medulla
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Re: The Thread to Ruminate About Mike Love's Rape Van

Post by Dr. Medulla »

WestwayKid wrote:
03 Oct 2022, 10:40am
Dr. Medulla wrote:
02 Oct 2022, 8:18pm
revbob wrote:
02 Oct 2022, 7:44pm
Dr. Medulla wrote:
02 Oct 2022, 7:31pm
Image
People shit on Mike Love, but he did win four Super Bowls.
He needs one for the thumb in 81.
That'd be nice, but he'd rather talk about how many copies "Kokomo" sold.
Did you know it went to #1? ;)
Wait, what? I've always understood it to be this private song that was leaked to the public.
"I never doubted myself for a minute for I knew that my monkey-strong bowels were girded with strength, like the loins of a dragon ribboned with fat and the opulence of buffalo dung." - Richard Nixon, Checkers Speech, abandoned early draft

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Re: The Thread to Ruminate About Mike Love's Rape Van

Post by matedog »

I'm ready to move beyond horrific discussions regarding John Phillips if y'all are

1990's "Problem Child" from soundtrack to the film "Problem Child"
Lead Vocal - Mike Love, Carl Wilson

After the Still Cruisin' singles failed to do much of anything, the Boys returned to the tried and true approach of soundtrack appearances. I say "tried and true" if you ignore the "Still Cruisin'" single, "Happy Endings," and "Make It Big" which did jack shit for them commercially in spite of soundtrack appearances. "Problem Child" was the main theme to the 1990 John Ritter starring film of the same name that was a box office success that summer. Pointless back story: this movie scared me when it came out. My dad taped a season 1 episode of The Simpsons for me (where Bart fights Nelson) and there was an ad for this movie during a commercial break that I legit feared. Specifically, they show a clip of the little ginger shit playing baseball, running the bases, and using his bat to beat the catcher's genitals. Not sure why, but I dreaded that ad every time we watched that tape:

 This is a rare sole writing credit for Beach Boys hanger on and late 80s band mainstay Terry Melcher who also produced. Basically anything Mike Love had a hand in, Melcher was there as well. His run with Mike will continue through the forthcoming "Summer in Paradise" album. Finally we get to see if Melcher really needed Mike or if Mike was detrimental to the Melcher Magic. 

Lyrics: 
The lyrics are fairly benign and in line with the theme of the movie - rambunctious adolscence, fear of growing up. It's all pretty unnoteworthy - nothing too egregious, but a few clunkers: rhyming "ooo-weee" with "not me" and "he's guilty cause he's just a juvenile." The lack of John Phillips input is a definite relief. 

Music: Some classic huge early 90s drums fill in the intro. Immediately we hear the first voices and they are not from Carl, Al, Bruce, or even Mike, but some bratty shit kids saying "nyah nyah." What follows is a jarring collection of vocals: Mike lays out a heavily processed "YEAAAAH" which is overlapped by some seriously rapid panned "na na na" and the one positive sound, an "ooooh," likely from Carl or maybe Al. Carl kicks in the verse with an assured vocal - he's not doing his bluesy belt, but fortunately, he's also not doing his soft rock coo. This is basically straight pop from him and his great voice does just fine. The beat and tempo are nice and peppy which gel with his vocal nicely. Mike ends the verse/chorus/whatever it is with a stupidly sung stupid line before we get back to that god awful vocal orgy, this time with the bratty kids finishing the section. Another verse/chorus/whatever leads to a solid bridge with some non-obnoxious "aaaah" backing vocals from the band. But then we are back to the late 80s/early 90s obsession with sax solos. Last one we heard was the weak point of the otherwise exemplary "Kokomo," and this one similarly does little for me.The solo leads back to the strong bridge and into an outro verse/chorus/thing. Oh there's definitely a fuck up by the drummer at 3:11, gotta note that.

Video: Clips of Gilbert Godfried from the movie set the scene before little ginger kid throws ice cream at a nun. Not sure if that's from the movie or not. The kid then pushes his way into the studio where the Beach Boys are recording this track with some oversight from Gilbert who is a welcome presence. As required by soundtrack videos of the time, there are film clips galore which whatever. The little ginger shit just goes around fucking things up. I never saw the movie, but it always just seemed like it was about a kid that abuses kids and cats and adults and is just generally awful. I'm no longer scared of the kid, but it's still really really offputting and I don't get the appeal of the movie. "Let's watch a kid be a shithead for 90 minutes." Just behave and stop pushing boundaries! Oh and Mike Love gets to pretend to play sax again, but little ginger shit fucks his shit up too, which I guess isn't so bad. Stamos is here and he gets a milkshake thrown on his croch. Al and Bruce get electrocuted. Smartly, the kid doesn't fuck with the GILFY as ever Carl.  

Song grade: C- It could be an adequate peppy pop tune and Carl sounds strong as ever, but the fucking "nyahs" and the weird panning vocals are just baffling arrangement choices. They did play this live for a week in August of 1990 and the arrangement is much better:  
Video grade B-:  Eh, it works for the movie tie in and there is some fun goofiness to it. In spite of my childhood trauma from the tv promos for this movie, it seems well executed. I like that the coward Bruce Johnston and Mike Love get their comeuppance, though Al deserves better.

Choice Youtube Comment: "John Stamos! Full house! I love his skills! All of them. And my dad said he wasn't on the Beach Boys group. I prove my family wrong" - WolgonScout1990
Brian status - Look, he's on the single promo cover, but that's it.
Mike Love venom - His vocals are so weirdly processed and like hushed but loud. Just awful. Uh, he didn't "co-write" this, but it doesn't seem to matter to answer my earlier question. 

Next week - Let's give Al some love with their cover of "Crocodile Rock."
Look, you have to establish context for these things. And I maintain that unless you appreciate the Fall of Constantinople, the Great Fire of London, and Mickey Mantle's fatalist alcoholism, live Freddy makes no sense. If you want to half-ass it, fine, go call Simon Schama to do the appendix.

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