The Thread to Ruminate About Mike Love's Rape Van

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matedog
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Re: The Thread to Ruminate About Mike Love's Rape Van

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Flex wrote:
08 Nov 2022, 12:00pm
Okay, briefly on pet sounds, it's a tragic album. Like blood on the tracks, which is fresh on my mind, it's an album that charts the course of the dissolution of a once happy relationship. But unlike BOTT which ends in catharsis and growth, Pet Sounds offers nothing of the kind. At times our narrator seems to understand his emotional immaturity and seems on the verge of breakthrough, but by Caroline No we see the reality: our narrator is in pain and anguish, but lacks the ability to understand why his own lack of growth or understanding of his partner dooms him to heartbreak and isolation. No catharsis is granted, no growth or self realization. It's one of the saddest, darkest pop albums I think I've ever heard. That it's punctuated with truly beautiful moments just makes the futility starker.
I actually had no idea there was a narrative in Pet Sounds. Maybe it's super obvious, but I'm notoriously oblivious to lyrics.
Look, you have to establish context for these things. And I maintain that unless you appreciate the Fall of Constantinople, the Great Fire of London, and Mickey Mantle's fatalist alcoholism, live Freddy makes no sense. If you want to half-ass it, fine, go call Simon Schama to do the appendix.

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Re: The Thread to Ruminate About Mike Love's Rape Van

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matedog wrote:
10 Nov 2022, 12:50pm
Flex wrote:
08 Nov 2022, 12:00pm
Okay, briefly on pet sounds, it's a tragic album. Like blood on the tracks, which is fresh on my mind, it's an album that charts the course of the dissolution of a once happy relationship. But unlike BOTT which ends in catharsis and growth, Pet Sounds offers nothing of the kind. At times our narrator seems to understand his emotional immaturity and seems on the verge of breakthrough, but by Caroline No we see the reality: our narrator is in pain and anguish, but lacks the ability to understand why his own lack of growth or understanding of his partner dooms him to heartbreak and isolation. No catharsis is granted, no growth or self realization. It's one of the saddest, darkest pop albums I think I've ever heard. That it's punctuated with truly beautiful moments just makes the futility starker.
I actually had no idea there was a narrative in Pet Sounds. Maybe it's super obvious, but I'm notoriously oblivious to lyrics.
Well, death of the author. I'm sure Brian wouldn't agree with my interpretation, but I think his denial would only bolster my read of the record, frankly.
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Re: The Thread to Ruminate About Mike Love's Rape Van

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Life has been a bit crazy the last few weeks, but got the second to last one done:

1993's "Summer in Paradise'" from the 1992 album "Summer in Paradise"
Lead Vocal - Mike Love

Throughout 1992 and 1993, The Beach Boys were pretty directionless for having a brand new album to promote. The first single was a cover that went nowhere, the second single was a re-write starring a sitcom star, and a year later, they released the title track, but in live form.

For the album, if a song wasn't a cover or a remake, it was a Melcher/Love composition. Carl decided to keep his compositions to his limited and obscure side projects (see: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Like_a_Brother), perhaps due to Love's increased control over the group post-Kokomo. Al's weird alliance with Mike in the late 70s was long gone and he was temporarily dismissed from the group somewhere around this time. His songwriting contributions were always minimal though occasionally strong, even providing a (relative) highlight to "Still Cruisin'" with "Island Girl." Limp dick Bruce Johnston does get a credit by taking a classic doo wop song, "One Summer Night" and writing a really shitty set of the worst soft rock verses we've heard since the loathsome "Happy Endings." He grew a set of tiny sterile testicles by actually singing the god awful verses but allowing a late-returning Al to sound relatively strong on the cover chorus.

The album "Summer in Paradise" has essentially been erased from the band's history, but this song has remained in the band setlists as recently as 2018. Clearly Mike Love is fond of it, so let's see what he's so proud of.

Lyrics:
Hitmakers Mike n Terry fashioned an album whose originals largely consist of "Kokomo" rewrites though without that fucking amazing chorus and deft arragement. For the title track, they veer from boomer escapism to something very very very mildly noble - environmental causes. Now their form of environmentalism was the most mainstream, not anti-capitalist varietal. Basically, "hey everyone, be good to the environment, stop polluting, and recycle like the surfers do." There is a modicum of a progressive ideal in these lyrics:
Too much consumption and too much greed
When you consider all the people
That are living in need
Interdependence in this world is a natural fact
And we're all under attack
It just doesn't really resonate coming from someone as loathsome, capitalistic, and wasteful as Mike Love.

Naturally, Mike has to be self referential as hell referencing "Fun Fun Fun", "Barbara Ann" and "Help Me Rhonda" when promoting a song about not fucking up the environment because that sells the message more? It does lead to one of my all time favorite terrible couplets:
"Surfers recycle now don't you know
Like everyone from California to Kokomo."

Though this couplet is only in the US version, not the live version that is used for the single. The live version takes the lyrics from the UK version as sung by Roger McGuinn who we last saw in the "California Dreamin'" video, but now performed by the coward Bruce Johnston with the lyrics impotently dripping out of his mouth like a neutered animal trying to muster something out of nothing.

The chorus is just blandly repeating "paradise" "summer in paradise" ad nauseum.

Music:
As noted above, this video is taken from a live performance. I've discussed their live arrangements in previous reviews that often shine in comparison to the horribly dated studio productions and this is no exception. For one thing, it lacks the wretched Summer in Paradise drum sound but also is a jauntier tempo, and has some badass guitar and sax parts. The studio version does exercise some initial arrangement restraint ala the lone break down in Cut the Crap's "This is England" and has the best accordion playing we've heard since the sublime "Kokomo." All in all, however, I'll take this live version over the studio version, even if Carl doesn't get a chance to rip like he does on "Problem Child."

The melodies on the verses are pretty mundane and the chorus is downright boring and monotonous, though the harmonies are tight as hell, even in the live version.

Video:
Holy shit is the intro to this 90s as hell. There's a bad CGI dolphin wearing sunglasses seemingly beckoning us to join us in underwater fun before we abruptly cut to the band performing live at the Sleep Train Pavilion in Concord, California where, true fact, I saw Springsteen perform with the Seeger Sessions band in 2006. From the looks of it, this is one hell of a white people party. I guess all Beach Boys shows are since this fits the vibe of the Rock n Roll to the Rescue crowd.

This video is another low res upload but not low enough to shield me from Mike Love rocking a rainbow vest with nothing underneath. He also seems to have caught Bruce's shorts syndrome. Carl is probably sweating his balls off, but wearing a fucking suit like he always does because he is a boss. Stamos is here as well and even at this resolution, he looks fine as hell. We also get some stock footage of whales, ethnic children, and evil logging companies to bring home the lyrical message.

Song grade: C-. I like some of the arrangement. The melodies are pretty blah, but they get half a point for being "socially conscious." It's not as actively bad as a lot of their other stuff in this area, so...points?
Video grade: C-. Pretty innocuous if a bit lazy - the CGI is charmingly bad, Mike Love is enjoyable loathsome. Lots of hand waving by the crowd. They kinda try to go along with the lyrical themes with all the stock footage. So again, lower standards have elevated this slightly.
Choice Youtube Comment: " 2:59 Bruce straight lookin like a cabbage patch kid lol" - SystematicPlatypus

Brian status - Still MIA.
Mike Love venom - Mike waves his finger at the populace while owning mansions in Hawaii and Lake Tahoe. Fuck you, Mike.

Next time- Last fucking song and it's a doozy - "Summer of Love"
Look, you have to establish context for these things. And I maintain that unless you appreciate the Fall of Constantinople, the Great Fire of London, and Mickey Mantle's fatalist alcoholism, live Freddy makes no sense. If you want to half-ass it, fine, go call Simon Schama to do the appendix.

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Re: The Thread to Ruminate About Mike Love's Rape Van

Post by Dr. Medulla »

Cool, thanks, Mike, I want the world to burn.
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Re: The Thread to Ruminate About Mike Love's Rape Van

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but now performed by the coward Bruce Johnston with the lyrics impotently dripping out of his mouth like a neutered animal trying to muster something out of nothing.
Love your writing here.
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Re: The Thread to Ruminate About Mike Love's Rape Van

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Silent Majority wrote:
29 Nov 2022, 5:12pm
but now performed by the coward Bruce Johnston with the lyrics impotently dripping out of his mouth like a neutered animal trying to muster something out of nothing.
Love your writing here.
It really cannot be overstated how good his video reviews have been.
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Re: The Thread to Ruminate About Mike Love's Rape Van

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Silent Majority wrote:
29 Nov 2022, 5:12pm
but now performed by the coward Bruce Johnston with the lyrics impotently dripping out of his mouth like a neutered animal trying to muster something out of nothing.
Love your writing here.
Shitting on Bruce Johnston was one of my favorite things to do in this exercise and that might have been my last chance so I went for it.
Look, you have to establish context for these things. And I maintain that unless you appreciate the Fall of Constantinople, the Great Fire of London, and Mickey Mantle's fatalist alcoholism, live Freddy makes no sense. If you want to half-ass it, fine, go call Simon Schama to do the appendix.

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Re: The Thread to Ruminate About Mike Love's Rape Van

Post by Dr. Medulla »

Seeing as you're almost done these, I'll repeat my request that you tackle Brooose's videos after this. Frankly, I don't think I know any outside of the ones from Born in the USA.
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Re: The Thread to Ruminate About Mike Love's Rape Van

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Dr. Medulla wrote:
29 Nov 2022, 7:08pm
Seeing as you're almost done these, I'll repeat my request that you tackle Brooose's videos after this. Frankly, I don't think I know any outside of the ones from Born in the USA.
I thought about it when you requested it. I initially thought it would be too good of material to tackle, but maybe I'm wrong. I mean, I think Brilliant Disguise is a terrific song and a terrific video and writing earnestly about it would be weird relative to shitting on 80s KISS and Bruce Johnston. But maybe there's enough bad stuff particularly in the Human Touch era that would make it worthwhile.
Look, you have to establish context for these things. And I maintain that unless you appreciate the Fall of Constantinople, the Great Fire of London, and Mickey Mantle's fatalist alcoholism, live Freddy makes no sense. If you want to half-ass it, fine, go call Simon Schama to do the appendix.

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Re: The Thread to Ruminate About Mike Love's Rape Van

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matedog wrote:
29 Nov 2022, 7:28pm
Dr. Medulla wrote:
29 Nov 2022, 7:08pm
Seeing as you're almost done these, I'll repeat my request that you tackle Brooose's videos after this. Frankly, I don't think I know any outside of the ones from Born in the USA.
I thought about it when you requested it. I initially thought it would be too good of material to tackle, but maybe I'm wrong. I mean, I think Brilliant Disguise is a terrific song and a terrific video and writing earnestly about it would be weird relative to shitting on 80s KISS and Bruce Johnston. But maybe there's enough bad stuff particularly in the Human Touch era that would make it worthwhile.
I don't think this has to be about mocking the awful—you're not Gen X, you know!—and I'd be up for you making a case for some of Bruce's singles.
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Re: The Thread to Ruminate About Mike Love's Rape Van

Post by Flex »

matey should give a review of Bruce Johnston's solo album Going Public. Quite something to hear Bruce unshackled from the wild rock and roll frenzy of the beach boys and allowed to finally go as charmin-soft as he'd like.

Also, matey, sorry haven't been commenting extensively but I love these reviews. You're still somehow not hard enough on the songs, but I love your needling Bruce.
Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle like a bowl of soup
Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle like a rolling hoop
Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle like a ton of lead
Wiggle - you can raise the dead

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Re: The Thread to Ruminate About Mike Love's Rape Van

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It's been a...fun? few months, so let's close this exercise out with style:


1995's "Summer of Love'" from the 1992 album "Summer in Paradise"
Lead Vocal - Mike Love

Someone really needs to write a story about the album "Summer in Paradise." It's a bizarre shitshow of an album that was DOA and has since aged like milk yet information on the album is still scarce. This album came out in the Soundscan era, yet sales figures are elusive but are commonly reported to only be in the three figure range which is insane for a band coming off a platinum album. There is some historical aspect with it being the first album to be recorded using Pro Tools which I guess is cool? The band dynamics were also as weird as ever for a band with bizarre and ever changing dynamics - Al supposedly got booted, Carl's here but doesn't seem interested in writing anything and gets stuck cooing in lieu of his ballsy belting he was so great at at the time, sycophantic coward Bruce decides to hitch his wagon to the now all powerful Mike who is as entrenched as ever with the 85-95 6th Beach Boy that is Terry Melcher, and Brian is too busy getting sued by Mike while also trying to get out of a horribly abusive relationship with his therapist. Furthermore, this album was largely rerecorded for the UK release a year later, though the results aren't really any better. This album and "Still Cruisin'" remain out of print and off streaming, though the live "Summer in Paradise" did make a compilation that is on streaming. I wasn't even able to find any contemporaneous reviews of the album. It seems like critics and audiences at the time pretended this didn't exist. I did Mike Love's take on the song in the album's liner notes: "Summer Of Love, in a mid-60s Beach Boys style, is light and fun – totally for the young."

So why the hell did they opt to promote this album a full three years on Baywatch after it was received as a total critical and commercial failure? Furthermore, why did the opt to open the episode with a legit music video for the "hip hop" song that is now three years old. The episode tackles environmental issues, so the performances (there are two in the episode) of the song "Summer in Paradise" kind of makes sense. The Boys are heavily featured in the episode and even get to flex some acting skillz:

Mike is especially awful. And they are hanging out with hot babes a fraction of their age in Mike's backyard.

Furthermore, the lineup and appearances are baffling. I'll tackle the video itself, but Mike, Bruce and Al are in the episode as shown in the clip above and the performance at the end features no Carl or Brian and the big return for the first time in 32 years of David Marks for some reason eventhough he didn't really return until two years later and magically disappears after the first song, what?

1995 was a year of transition for hip hop. The decade started with the rise of the west coast via NWA and the even bigger after lives of Dr. Dre and Ice Cube which lead directly to the ascent of Snoop and 2Pac. The relative lull from the birthplace of hip hop, New York, was broken with landmark albums from Wu Tang Clan in 1993, NAS and Biggie in 1994, and Mobb Deep in 95. The influence of the first generations of hip hop were being fully realized nationwide with new hot spots emerging through the country: Atlanta with the arrival of Outkast in 94 and the bay area with Too $hort, E-40, and one of the all time greatest songs ever "I Got 5 On It" by Luniz.

The resurgence of New York in the face of West Coast dominance lead to the east coast/west coast rivalry that would start to boil over at the Source Awards in August of 95 (featuring a lot of really ugly moments, particularly from Snoop) and crescendo in 96 and 97 with the Biggie/2Pac murders. It's also worth noting that the biggest song of 1995 was a hip hop song: Coolio's "Gangsta's Paradise." Coolio didn't have the street cred of Snoop, but he also wasn't a cartoon like Hammer.

So in the midst of this tidal shift in hip hop, The Beach Boys/associations belatedly released their third hip hop song. We've already touched on Wipe Out in 87 on which the Beach Boys don't even rap. At the time, hip hop was still a novelty, not threatening - Dan Ackroyd could do it for movie soundtracks. Someone got Brian Wilson to rap in Dust Brothers-adjacent production "Smart Girls" in 1989 or 1990 after Matt Dike had just produced fucking "Paul's Boutique." This somehow sounds like a rap song from 1985 at a time when the genre was evolving VERY quickly. In fairness to "Summer of Love", it actually came out in 1992 at a time when novelty and pop rap was still prominent in 91/92 with "2 Legit 2 Quit" and "Baby Got Back" being notable chart toppers at the time. Yeah we were still post-NWA/Amerikkka's Most Wanted and The Chronic was due later that year, but there was still a place for this at least on the charts. There is an unsubstantiated rumor that this was going to be a collaboration with Bart Simpson which is just offensively 90s and I don't know if that was related to the "Do the Bartman" single, but that gives you an idea of the culture at the time. As I just noted, hip hop was still evolving rapidly and what was an absolute embarrassment in 1992 was even more abysmal three years later. Let's dive in.

Lyrics:
Horn dog Mikey is back and in serious heat! Hot young girls are just aching for the geriatric D. When the weather "starts to gettin hotter" (sic), Mike's libido rises like a thermometer while he proclaims "doing it with you would be so very cool." I see why this guy has like 12 kids - the women can't withstand this kind of romance.

Music:
Gotta hit me with that SiP drum sound on the intro that leads right into the song's hook: upper register Mike sounding winey as ever with an absurd bass vocal (I assume Mike as well) underneath: "do do dodo YEEEAAAAH." This follows with an ebullient, harmonized "Hey now!" and that deep voice again proclaiming "WELL IT'S A LOVE THING" into a snare fill with synth DJ scratching layered in unison. What a fucking hook. A bizarre mishmash of different vocal registers and horrid drum/synth DJ scratch sounds. This is their "Dictator" intro.

The next portion is the verse and this is the "rap" part of the song as Mike's vocal is more rhythmic than melodic. Some lite funk musical accompanies the rap and there's a nice syncopated tamborine part that I can respect. Halfway through, we get a reverse cymbal effect and the classic Beach Boys backing vocals enter to spice things up. Carl's voice is prominent and distinguishable, reminding us that he's not above this material. Mike drops the rap schtick for the chorus which features a weird phased vocal "girls are always ready" and Carl and co. just repeating "sum sum summer, summer of love." This culminates with that golden hook we heard at the top where Mike's hyper nasal delivery shoots out of your speaker.

The rest of the song just repeats the verse/chorus. There's no bridge and then it abruptly stops with that record scratch/snare fill because that's the only way this monstrosity can end.

Video:
Thank god someone uploaded a really high res version of this video. There is so much more glory to this video than I had realized.

There are a few distinct settings in this Baywatch intro:
Sunset Beach: We have the whole band including Carl, Brian, and the ever present John Stamos on drums. Let's talk Stamos' kit for a second. It's an electronic set which isn't off base for the recording, but what the fuck is with those two China cymbals that you practically have to jump to hit?:
Image

(also side drummer rant - why the hell does Stamos choke the cymbal after that intro fill? That always bothered me.)

Just look at this shit: Brian is back dressed in all black, looking miserable and confused and playing bass sitting in a director's chair. Best part is the shot at 2:30 where he his lip syncing a completely different song than everyone else. I guess it's good to see him? This is also the only scene where GILF Carl shows up too. Dressed in his trademark black suit looking like a boss. Not sure what the hell he, Brian, and Stamos were doing the rest of the day, but this is it for them.

Next setting is in what appears to be an abandoned pier or dock in a high end residential neighborhood.
Image
Band lineup is:
Bruce on keys
Al on tamborine.
Mike on vocals
That sax guy on sax.
Gnome Al Jardine's giant ass son on Stamos' e-drums. He looks like late 90s porn actor Alex Sanders at this time:
Image

Seems like their sound might be a little thin with that instrumentation. And the greyed out marine layer and failing concrete structure make for a pretty depressing setting. Even with the hot young babes that accompany them in some of the shots.

The last setting is the same lineup above on the boat and at a lifeguard station (technically two separate settings but whatever). I'll be honest, they all look like they are having a blast. I do love the various levels of enthusiasm shown by the dancing ladies. Some seem to think this is their big break and others realize this for the abysmal shit that it is.


Song grade: C+. This song is very very very bad. In nearly every way. It was horrible out the gate and has aged dramatically poorly. That being said, it is very much of the "so bad it's good" variety. It is a very entertaining listen and even still sounds kinda like a Beach Boys song. As a song, it's an F, as an experience, it's a C+.
Video grade: Fuck it, C+ also. It's now hard for me to separate the two. There's a lot of stuff going on here and the Baywatch tie in makes sense and the general vibe completely matches the song's absurd shittiness. Mike is back to the creepy old beach guy we last saw in "Rock and Roll to the Rescue." Everyone's having a good time except for Brian and some of the extras and that's about all you could expect given the video's song source material.
Choice Youtube Comment: "I love how much of Mike's face we can see in this video. There's a pattern, you'll be looking at the woman, then suddenly Camera Spin BAM! Mike's looking at you straight in the face." -chrisnorman5710
Brian status - First appearance since wincing through the "Japan" video and he is seemingly on the set of a completely different video. I have a feeling he never heard the song before deciding to come on set. He seems confused throughout.
Mike Love venom - Kokomo is dead.
Look, you have to establish context for these things. And I maintain that unless you appreciate the Fall of Constantinople, the Great Fire of London, and Mickey Mantle's fatalist alcoholism, live Freddy makes no sense. If you want to half-ass it, fine, go call Simon Schama to do the appendix.

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Re: The Thread to Ruminate About Mike Love's Rape Van

Post by Dr. Medulla »

Gun to my head, I take KISS from the same era. So bafflingly bad. I keep coming back to the confusion that they did not have to do any of this—it was a choice. And they have enough experience and knowledgeable people around them to know that this is absolute shit. CTC is Sandinista! by comparison.
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Re: The Thread to Ruminate About Mike Love's Rape Van

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Dr. Medulla wrote:
09 Dec 2022, 5:45pm
Gun to my head, I take KISS from the same era. So bafflingly bad. I keep coming back to the confusion that they did not have to do any of this—it was a choice. And they have enough experience and knowledgeable people around them to know that this is absolute shit. CTC is Sandinista! by comparison.
I'm going to do a recap, but I agree with you, 84-91 KISS>85-95 Beach Boys. Sorry Flex, Hes wins.
Look, you have to establish context for these things. And I maintain that unless you appreciate the Fall of Constantinople, the Great Fire of London, and Mickey Mantle's fatalist alcoholism, live Freddy makes no sense. If you want to half-ass it, fine, go call Simon Schama to do the appendix.

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Re: The Thread to Ruminate About Mike Love's Rape Van

Post by Flex »

It really was a Love Thing.

Another incredible write-up of some of the most wretched music ever made by a real band. Just a pathetic nadir. Of course, it's not like Mike stopped making music like this. He just puts it out as solo material now.

According to Wikipedia, they only ever played this song once in the 90s. Lol.
Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle like a bowl of soup
Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle like a rolling hoop
Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle like a ton of lead
Wiggle - you can raise the dead

Pex Lives!

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