The Thread to Ruminate About Mike Love's Rape Van

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matedog
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Re: The Thread to Ruminate About Mike Love's Rape Van

Post by matedog »

I'm definitely grading on a shitty curve with these, just like with KISS. Basically:
A: legit great song, few if any things to pick on
B: good, but flawed. Overall enjoyable listen
C: equal good/bad parts.
D: bad but not totally irredeemable
F: Irredeemable

So yeah, just like KISS' "Turn on the Night", I enjoyed this one. There are some legit issues, but overall I liked it more than I didn't like it. I slightly preferred it to "Getcha Back" which got a B-.
Look, you have to establish context for these things. And I maintain that unless you appreciate the Fall of Constantinople, the Great Fire of London, and Mickey Mantle's fatalist alcoholism, live Freddy makes no sense. If you want to half-ass it, fine, go call Simon Schama to do the appendix.

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Re: The Thread to Ruminate About Mike Love's Rape Van

Post by Dr. Medulla »

matedog wrote:
28 Jul 2022, 6:33pm
I'm definitely grading on a shitty curve with these, just like with KISS. Basically:
A: legit great song, few if any things to pick on
B: good, but flawed. Overall enjoyable listen
C: equal good/bad parts.
D: bad but not totally irredeemable
F: Irredeemable

So yeah, just like KISS' "Turn on the Night", I enjoyed this one. There are some legit issues, but overall I liked it more than I didn't like it. I slightly preferred it to "Getcha Back" which got a B-.
I honestly don't see how "It's Getting Late" doesn't merit a D. If you like the vocal, okay, fine, but everything else is poor dreck. That's "bad but not totally irredeemable." Be better than the University of Phoenix for grading!
"I never doubted myself for a minute for I knew that my monkey-strong bowels were girded with strength, like the loins of a dragon ribboned with fat and the opulence of buffalo dung." - Richard Nixon, Checkers Speech, abandoned early draft

matedog
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Re: The Thread to Ruminate About Mike Love's Rape Van

Post by matedog »

Dr. Medulla wrote:
29 Jul 2022, 6:42am
matedog wrote:
28 Jul 2022, 6:33pm
I'm definitely grading on a shitty curve with these, just like with KISS. Basically:
A: legit great song, few if any things to pick on
B: good, but flawed. Overall enjoyable listen
C: equal good/bad parts.
D: bad but not totally irredeemable
F: Irredeemable

So yeah, just like KISS' "Turn on the Night", I enjoyed this one. There are some legit issues, but overall I liked it more than I didn't like it. I slightly preferred it to "Getcha Back" which got a B-.
I honestly don't see how "It's Getting Late" doesn't merit a D. If you like the vocal, okay, fine, but everything else is poor dreck. That's "bad but not totally irredeemable." Be better than the University of Phoenix for grading!
It’s the hook. It’s a huge part of the song and is enough to counteract a lot of the dreck for me.
Look, you have to establish context for these things. And I maintain that unless you appreciate the Fall of Constantinople, the Great Fire of London, and Mickey Mantle's fatalist alcoholism, live Freddy makes no sense. If you want to half-ass it, fine, go call Simon Schama to do the appendix.

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Re: The Thread to Ruminate About Mike Love's Rape Van

Post by Dr. Medulla »

matedog wrote:
29 Jul 2022, 9:07am
Dr. Medulla wrote:
29 Jul 2022, 6:42am
matedog wrote:
28 Jul 2022, 6:33pm
I'm definitely grading on a shitty curve with these, just like with KISS. Basically:
A: legit great song, few if any things to pick on
B: good, but flawed. Overall enjoyable listen
C: equal good/bad parts.
D: bad but not totally irredeemable
F: Irredeemable

So yeah, just like KISS' "Turn on the Night", I enjoyed this one. There are some legit issues, but overall I liked it more than I didn't like it. I slightly preferred it to "Getcha Back" which got a B-.
I honestly don't see how "It's Getting Late" doesn't merit a D. If you like the vocal, okay, fine, but everything else is poor dreck. That's "bad but not totally irredeemable." Be better than the University of Phoenix for grading!
It’s the hook. It’s a huge part of the song and is enough to counteract a lot of the dreck for me.
This is why we will never have world peace. :disshame:
"I never doubted myself for a minute for I knew that my monkey-strong bowels were girded with strength, like the loins of a dragon ribboned with fat and the opulence of buffalo dung." - Richard Nixon, Checkers Speech, abandoned early draft

WestwayKid
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Re: The Thread to Ruminate About Mike Love's Rape Van

Post by WestwayKid »

Dr. Medulla wrote:
29 Jul 2022, 6:42am
matedog wrote:
28 Jul 2022, 6:33pm
I'm definitely grading on a shitty curve with these, just like with KISS. Basically:
A: legit great song, few if any things to pick on
B: good, but flawed. Overall enjoyable listen
C: equal good/bad parts.
D: bad but not totally irredeemable
F: Irredeemable

So yeah, just like KISS' "Turn on the Night", I enjoyed this one. There are some legit issues, but overall I liked it more than I didn't like it. I slightly preferred it to "Getcha Back" which got a B-.
I honestly don't see how "It's Getting Late" doesn't merit a D. If you like the vocal, okay, fine, but everything else is poor dreck. That's "bad but not totally irredeemable." Be better than the University of Phoenix for grading!
I think because of how awful the curve skews. This is the era that gave us Problem Child and Summer of Love. We should call it the Melcher Curve.

Here's a weird alternate universe tangent. If Terry Melcher hadn't moved out and had been killed by the Manson Family, we would have been spared from the likes of Kokomo and Summer in Paradise.
"They don't think it be like it is, but it do." - Oscar Gamble

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Re: The Thread to Ruminate About Mike Love's Rape Van

Post by Dr. Medulla »

WestwayKid wrote:
29 Jul 2022, 4:36pm
Dr. Medulla wrote:
29 Jul 2022, 6:42am
matedog wrote:
28 Jul 2022, 6:33pm
I'm definitely grading on a shitty curve with these, just like with KISS. Basically:
A: legit great song, few if any things to pick on
B: good, but flawed. Overall enjoyable listen
C: equal good/bad parts.
D: bad but not totally irredeemable
F: Irredeemable

So yeah, just like KISS' "Turn on the Night", I enjoyed this one. There are some legit issues, but overall I liked it more than I didn't like it. I slightly preferred it to "Getcha Back" which got a B-.
I honestly don't see how "It's Getting Late" doesn't merit a D. If you like the vocal, okay, fine, but everything else is poor dreck. That's "bad but not totally irredeemable." Be better than the University of Phoenix for grading!
I think because of how awful the curve skews. This is the era that gave us Problem Child and Summer of Love. We should call it the Melcher Curve.
I think you're skewing things in too isolated a manner—consider all Beach Boys songs against each other, not just within the shitty era. Otherwise you end up creating a weird scale where "Kokomo" can be spoken of in the same breath as "Good Vibrations." And that just plays into Mike Love's hands.
Here's a weird alternate universe tangent. If Terry Melcher hadn't moved out and had been killed by the Manson Family, we would have been spared from the likes of Kokomo and Summer in Paradise.
But then Manson ended up joining the Beach Boys and you get "Kokomo" much earlier. :shifty:
"I never doubted myself for a minute for I knew that my monkey-strong bowels were girded with strength, like the loins of a dragon ribboned with fat and the opulence of buffalo dung." - Richard Nixon, Checkers Speech, abandoned early draft

WestwayKid
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Re: The Thread to Ruminate About Mike Love's Rape Van

Post by WestwayKid »

Dr. Medulla wrote:
29 Jul 2022, 5:03pm
WestwayKid wrote:
29 Jul 2022, 4:36pm
Dr. Medulla wrote:
29 Jul 2022, 6:42am
matedog wrote:
28 Jul 2022, 6:33pm
I'm definitely grading on a shitty curve with these, just like with KISS. Basically:
A: legit great song, few if any things to pick on
B: good, but flawed. Overall enjoyable listen
C: equal good/bad parts.
D: bad but not totally irredeemable
F: Irredeemable

So yeah, just like KISS' "Turn on the Night", I enjoyed this one. There are some legit issues, but overall I liked it more than I didn't like it. I slightly preferred it to "Getcha Back" which got a B-.
I honestly don't see how "It's Getting Late" doesn't merit a D. If you like the vocal, okay, fine, but everything else is poor dreck. That's "bad but not totally irredeemable." Be better than the University of Phoenix for grading!
I think because of how awful the curve skews. This is the era that gave us Problem Child and Summer of Love. We should call it the Melcher Curve.
I think you're skewing things in too isolated a manner—consider all Beach Boys songs against each other, not just within the shitty era. Otherwise you end up creating a weird scale where "Kokomo" can be spoken of in the same breath as "Good Vibrations." And that just plays into Mike Love's hands.
Here's a weird alternate universe tangent. If Terry Melcher hadn't moved out and had been killed by the Manson Family, we would have been spared from the likes of Kokomo and Summer in Paradise.
But then Manson ended up joining the Beach Boys and you get "Kokomo" much earlier. :shifty:
Fair enough. If I'm grading it with the rest of their singles, it gets a low D-minus. It's not quite in F territory, but close.

I'd actually give Getcha Back a slightly higher grade, maybe a straight-D.
Last edited by WestwayKid on 29 Jul 2022, 6:01pm, edited 1 time in total.
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WestwayKid
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Re: The Thread to Ruminate About Mike Love's Rape Van

Post by WestwayKid »

Also: did anyone else notice that our newest member is named DrLandy? Coincidence?
"They don't think it be like it is, but it do." - Oscar Gamble

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Re: The Thread to Ruminate About Mike Love's Rape Van

Post by Dr. Medulla »

WestwayKid wrote:
29 Jul 2022, 5:58pm
Dr. Medulla wrote:
29 Jul 2022, 5:03pm
WestwayKid wrote:
29 Jul 2022, 4:36pm
Dr. Medulla wrote:
29 Jul 2022, 6:42am
matedog wrote:
28 Jul 2022, 6:33pm
I'm definitely grading on a shitty curve with these, just like with KISS. Basically:
A: legit great song, few if any things to pick on
B: good, but flawed. Overall enjoyable listen
C: equal good/bad parts.
D: bad but not totally irredeemable
F: Irredeemable

So yeah, just like KISS' "Turn on the Night", I enjoyed this one. There are some legit issues, but overall I liked it more than I didn't like it. I slightly preferred it to "Getcha Back" which got a B-.
I honestly don't see how "It's Getting Late" doesn't merit a D. If you like the vocal, okay, fine, but everything else is poor dreck. That's "bad but not totally irredeemable." Be better than the University of Phoenix for grading!
I think because of how awful the curve skews. This is the era that gave us Problem Child and Summer of Love. We should call it the Melcher Curve.
I think you're skewing things in too isolated a manner—consider all Beach Boys songs against each other, not just within the shitty era. Otherwise you end up creating a weird scale where "Kokomo" can be spoken of in the same breath as "Good Vibrations." And that just plays into Mike Love's hands.
Here's a weird alternate universe tangent. If Terry Melcher hadn't moved out and had been killed by the Manson Family, we would have been spared from the likes of Kokomo and Summer in Paradise.
But then Manson ended up joining the Beach Boys and you get "Kokomo" much earlier. :shifty:
Fair enough. If I'm grading it with the rest of their singles, it gets a low D-minus. It's not quite in F territory, but close.

I'd actually give Getcha Back a slightly higher grade, maybe a straight-D.
Welcome back from Hoyville. :cool:
"I never doubted myself for a minute for I knew that my monkey-strong bowels were girded with strength, like the loins of a dragon ribboned with fat and the opulence of buffalo dung." - Richard Nixon, Checkers Speech, abandoned early draft

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Re: The Thread to Ruminate About Mike Love's Rape Van

Post by WestwayKid »

Dr. Medulla wrote:
29 Jul 2022, 6:38pm
WestwayKid wrote:
29 Jul 2022, 5:58pm
Dr. Medulla wrote:
29 Jul 2022, 5:03pm
WestwayKid wrote:
29 Jul 2022, 4:36pm
Dr. Medulla wrote:
29 Jul 2022, 6:42am


I honestly don't see how "It's Getting Late" doesn't merit a D. If you like the vocal, okay, fine, but everything else is poor dreck. That's "bad but not totally irredeemable." Be better than the University of Phoenix for grading!
I think because of how awful the curve skews. This is the era that gave us Problem Child and Summer of Love. We should call it the Melcher Curve.
I think you're skewing things in too isolated a manner—consider all Beach Boys songs against each other, not just within the shitty era. Otherwise you end up creating a weird scale where "Kokomo" can be spoken of in the same breath as "Good Vibrations." And that just plays into Mike Love's hands.
Here's a weird alternate universe tangent. If Terry Melcher hadn't moved out and had been killed by the Manson Family, we would have been spared from the likes of Kokomo and Summer in Paradise.
But then Manson ended up joining the Beach Boys and you get "Kokomo" much earlier. :shifty:
Fair enough. If I'm grading it with the rest of their singles, it gets a low D-minus. It's not quite in F territory, but close.

I'd actually give Getcha Back a slightly higher grade, maybe a straight-D.
Welcome back from Hoyville. :cool:
I do applaud his efforts, however. It takes a brave man to wade into the "Summer of Mike Love" era.
"They don't think it be like it is, but it do." - Oscar Gamble

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Re: The Thread to Ruminate About Mike Love's Rape Van

Post by Dr. Medulla »

WestwayKid wrote:
29 Jul 2022, 6:47pm
Dr. Medulla wrote:
29 Jul 2022, 6:38pm
WestwayKid wrote:
29 Jul 2022, 5:58pm
Dr. Medulla wrote:
29 Jul 2022, 5:03pm
WestwayKid wrote:
29 Jul 2022, 4:36pm


I think because of how awful the curve skews. This is the era that gave us Problem Child and Summer of Love. We should call it the Melcher Curve.
I think you're skewing things in too isolated a manner—consider all Beach Boys songs against each other, not just within the shitty era. Otherwise you end up creating a weird scale where "Kokomo" can be spoken of in the same breath as "Good Vibrations." And that just plays into Mike Love's hands.
Here's a weird alternate universe tangent. If Terry Melcher hadn't moved out and had been killed by the Manson Family, we would have been spared from the likes of Kokomo and Summer in Paradise.
But then Manson ended up joining the Beach Boys and you get "Kokomo" much earlier. :shifty:
Fair enough. If I'm grading it with the rest of their singles, it gets a low D-minus. It's not quite in F territory, but close.

I'd actually give Getcha Back a slightly higher grade, maybe a straight-D.
Welcome back from Hoyville. :cool:
I do applaud his efforts, however. It takes a brave man to wade into the "Summer of Mike Love" era.
Oh god, yes. Between this and the KISS analysis, he's earned a hazard pay raise, but there is some Stockholming happening.
"I never doubted myself for a minute for I knew that my monkey-strong bowels were girded with strength, like the loins of a dragon ribboned with fat and the opulence of buffalo dung." - Richard Nixon, Checkers Speech, abandoned early draft

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Re: The Thread to Ruminate About Mike Love's Rape Van

Post by matedog »

I had to listen to this one a lot to figure out what the hell I thought about it.
1986's "Rock n Roll to the Rescue" from the compilation "Made in U.S.A." (1986)

Lead Vocal - Brian Wilson
Following the tepid response to Beach Boys 85, they decided to crank out a new compilation "Made in U.S.A." a year later. The compilation basically ignores the 70s and features two new songs which I will be covering on the next two reviews. The first is "Rock n Roll to the Rescue" written by Mike and his 80s cohort Terry Melcher, last seen on "Getcha Back." The single didn't match GB, only making it to #68 and interestingly features a Brian vocal on a song he had no hand in writing. Let's see if Brian can make Melcher Magic.

Lyrics: Brian (Mike) reminisces about being in high school and shy around girls. Fortunately he discovers his mom's rock records and gets good at singing and it rescues him. Second verse, he's still talking about his mom's fucking record collection before recycling lines from classic rock songs. What a shit verse. Third verse they are just bragging about how good of a live band they are, perhaps a harbinger of Mike's RnR HOF speech. 

Music: The intro is really jarring with a quasi-acapella segment that thankfully transitions (very some tasty synth drums) into a regular verse. Thankfully, the airy synths that plagued BB85 are gone and what transpires is an oddly inspired arrangement. Instrumentation comes and goes at will, suggesting a producer with a cocaine addled short attention span. But you know what, I kind of like it - there's a prominent acoustic guitar throughout the verse, a random classic beach boy backing vocal after the first line, horns, a clap track, a piano that just comes and goes. The chorus hits and the backing vocals really kick in nicely. The drums get really interesting as well. They are synth drums, but have to be played by a real human, they are just too idiosyncratic. The chorus itself is somewhat mediocre, unfortunately, but the unhinged nature of everything is fun.

As noted earlier, Brian lays down the lead vocal for most of the song. He's very committed, but his voice just isn't really right for it. Al starts off the second verse and fairs better and Carl sneaks in one line and outsings/oversings everyone per usual. I don't care, the "hey now" backing vocals that enter in the second verse are a great addition. There's also some cool phase effect at the end that is kinda cool and the song bookends with that jarring intro vocal. It still doesn't sound good, but it's an inspired songwriting trick.One complaint I have though is that the entire song is soaked in reverb which deadens the impact of a little of these little flourishes. The low ass resolution youtube uploads I'm relying on doesn't help the matter since this is apparently out of print. So it doesn't sound as dated as BB85, but it still hasn't aged well.

Video: Alright, we are done with the story videos of the BB85 singles, sorry hot Patrick Carney. In its place is basically a promo for their live show. Cool.

After shots of the whitest people ever getting ready for a concert, we catch up with the band on their way presumably to a large stadium show where they will "rescue" the audience. The vehicles are as follows:
  • Mike and Brian looking absolutely miserable in a mid 80s Vette with sirens
  • Carl and Al looking like they are continuing their cocaine party from the Getcha Back video into the next day in a hip jeep. 
  • Bruce in the rape van. A windowless black van with some shitty graffiti on the side.
Yes, this is the video that coined the title of this thread. However, Bruce is in fact driving the van and Mike thinks he is maintaining plausable deniability. However, we see who they pull out of the van first later on. 

The band abducts some women they promised to take to a stadium show and instead takes them to the beach for some sexist 80s beach fun. There's boobs, Mike Love skeezing on boobs, a super buff guy with a mullet, a guy smoking and juggling, and Drew Barrymore for some reason. At the end, they perform on the beach with Carl playing and unplugged guitar, an empty drumset, and the rest of the band singing/pointing. You know, it looks like they had a fun time.

Song grade: B-. It's a weird ass, not particularly good song, but the little touches won me over.
Video grade: B-.  It was nice seeing Carl/Al having fun and the beach hang out seemed like a good time for all. Like KISS videos of the era, it seemed like they had half an idea that they never finished. And the van.

Choice Youtube Comment: "Fantastic song, should have been on that '85 album ! and please Mike ! Just get a hairpiece , & lose those ridiculous hats ! Please !! -----should have been a huge hit ! ---------------------------WolfSky9, 74 y/o"
Brian status - He looks like he has fun once he gets away from Mike and delivers a committed vocal and committed lip sync.
Mike Love venom - Creeping on girls, blasting exhaust at stranded motorists and he penned this thing. He definitely comes across as the sleazebag that he is.
Next week: Nostalgia continues with their now more popular than ever cover of "California Dreaming"
Look, you have to establish context for these things. And I maintain that unless you appreciate the Fall of Constantinople, the Great Fire of London, and Mickey Mantle's fatalist alcoholism, live Freddy makes no sense. If you want to half-ass it, fine, go call Simon Schama to do the appendix.

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Re: The Thread to Ruminate About Mike Love's Rape Van

Post by Dr. Medulla »

Okay, by no means am I endorsing that song, but that 80s production does it no favours whatsoever. In a more simple, straight-forward 60s environment, it might have been okay.
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Re: The Thread to Ruminate About Mike Love's Rape Van

Post by matedog »

Dr. Medulla wrote:
08 Aug 2022, 4:21pm
Okay, by no means am I endorsing that song, but that 80s production does it no favours whatsoever. In a more simple, straight-forward 60s environment, it might have been okay.
I should have read your response before voting for Swans.
Look, you have to establish context for these things. And I maintain that unless you appreciate the Fall of Constantinople, the Great Fire of London, and Mickey Mantle's fatalist alcoholism, live Freddy makes no sense. If you want to half-ass it, fine, go call Simon Schama to do the appendix.

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Re: The Thread to Ruminate About Mike Love's Rape Van

Post by Dr. Medulla »

matedog wrote:
08 Aug 2022, 4:36pm
Dr. Medulla wrote:
08 Aug 2022, 4:21pm
Okay, by no means am I endorsing that song, but that 80s production does it no favours whatsoever. In a more simple, straight-forward 60s environment, it might have been okay.
I should have read your response before voting for Swans.
Image
"I never doubted myself for a minute for I knew that my monkey-strong bowels were girded with strength, like the loins of a dragon ribboned with fat and the opulence of buffalo dung." - Richard Nixon, Checkers Speech, abandoned early draft

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