The Thread to Ruminate About Mike Love's Rape Van

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matedog
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Re: The Thread to Ruminate About Mike Love's Rape Van

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I think my favorite part of this exercise is finding the most inane, belligerent, and/or accidentally insightful comment on each Youtube upload.
Look, you have to establish context for these things. And I maintain that unless you appreciate the Fall of Constantinople, the Great Fire of London, and Mickey Mantle's fatalist alcoholism, live Freddy makes no sense. If you want to half-ass it, fine, go call Simon Schama to do the appendix.

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Re: The Thread to Ruminate About Mike Love's Rape Van

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Would much much rather read your writing on these songs than listen to them.
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Re: The Thread to Ruminate About Mike Love's Rape Van

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Mike and Co. are coming to Milwaukee in December. I'll admit I did consider it, but the cheapest tickets are $59.50 (not including fees). That's way too steep to see what is now essentially just a cover band.
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Re: The Thread to Ruminate About Mike Love's Rape Van

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Hmmm, I'd probably see them for $60 if that's all-in. The Mike and Bruce Boys still put on a pretty good show and maybe they'll play some 70s stuff for brand synergy reasons this tour.
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Re: The Thread to Ruminate About Mike Love's Rape Van

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matedog wrote:
10 Oct 2022, 4:37pm
I'm ready to move beyond horrific discussions regarding John Phillips if y'all are

1990's "Problem Child" from soundtrack to the film "Problem Child"
Lead Vocal - Mike Love, Carl Wilson

After the Still Cruisin' singles failed to do much of anything, the Boys returned to the tried and true approach of soundtrack appearances. I say "tried and true" if you ignore the "Still Cruisin'" single, "Happy Endings," and "Make It Big" which did jack shit for them commercially in spite of soundtrack appearances. "Problem Child" was the main theme to the 1990 John Ritter starring film of the same name that was a box office success that summer. Pointless back story: this movie scared me when it came out. My dad taped a season 1 episode of The Simpsons for me (where Bart fights Nelson) and there was an ad for this movie during a commercial break that I legit feared. Specifically, they show a clip of the little ginger shit playing baseball, running the bases, and using his bat to beat the catcher's genitals. Not sure why, but I dreaded that ad every time we watched that tape:

 This is a rare sole writing credit for Beach Boys hanger on and late 80s band mainstay Terry Melcher who also produced. Basically anything Mike Love had a hand in, Melcher was there as well. His run with Mike will continue through the forthcoming "Summer in Paradise" album. Finally we get to see if Melcher really needed Mike or if Mike was detrimental to the Melcher Magic. 

Lyrics: 
The lyrics are fairly benign and in line with the theme of the movie - rambunctious adolscence, fear of growing up. It's all pretty unnoteworthy - nothing too egregious, but a few clunkers: rhyming "ooo-weee" with "not me" and "he's guilty cause he's just a juvenile." The lack of John Phillips input is a definite relief. 

Music: Some classic huge early 90s drums fill in the intro. Immediately we hear the first voices and they are not from Carl, Al, Bruce, or even Mike, but some bratty shit kids saying "nyah nyah." What follows is a jarring collection of vocals: Mike lays out a heavily processed "YEAAAAH" which is overlapped by some seriously rapid panned "na na na" and the one positive sound, an "ooooh," likely from Carl or maybe Al. Carl kicks in the verse with an assured vocal - he's not doing his bluesy belt, but fortunately, he's also not doing his soft rock coo. This is basically straight pop from him and his great voice does just fine. The beat and tempo are nice and peppy which gel with his vocal nicely. Mike ends the verse/chorus/whatever it is with a stupidly sung stupid line before we get back to that god awful vocal orgy, this time with the bratty kids finishing the section. Another verse/chorus/whatever leads to a solid bridge with some non-obnoxious "aaaah" backing vocals from the band. But then we are back to the late 80s/early 90s obsession with sax solos. Last one we heard was the weak point of the otherwise exemplary "Kokomo," and this one similarly does little for me.The solo leads back to the strong bridge and into an outro verse/chorus/thing. Oh there's definitely a fuck up by the drummer at 3:11, gotta note that.

Video: Clips of Gilbert Godfried from the movie set the scene before little ginger kid throws ice cream at a nun. Not sure if that's from the movie or not. The kid then pushes his way into the studio where the Beach Boys are recording this track with some oversight from Gilbert who is a welcome presence. As required by soundtrack videos of the time, there are film clips galore which whatever. The little ginger shit just goes around fucking things up. I never saw the movie, but it always just seemed like it was about a kid that abuses kids and cats and adults and is just generally awful. I'm no longer scared of the kid, but it's still really really offputting and I don't get the appeal of the movie. "Let's watch a kid be a shithead for 90 minutes." Just behave and stop pushing boundaries! Oh and Mike Love gets to pretend to play sax again, but little ginger shit fucks his shit up too, which I guess isn't so bad. Stamos is here and he gets a milkshake thrown on his croch. Al and Bruce get electrocuted. Smartly, the kid doesn't fuck with the GILFY as ever Carl.  

Song grade: C- It could be an adequate peppy pop tune and Carl sounds strong as ever, but the fucking "nyahs" and the weird panning vocals are just baffling arrangement choices. They did play this live for a week in August of 1990 and the arrangement is much better:  
Video grade B-:  Eh, it works for the movie tie in and there is some fun goofiness to it. In spite of my childhood trauma from the tv promos for this movie, it seems well executed. I like that the coward Bruce Johnston and Mike Love get their comeuppance, though Al deserves better.

Choice Youtube Comment: "John Stamos! Full house! I love his skills! All of them. And my dad said he wasn't on the Beach Boys group. I prove my family wrong" - WolgonScout1990
Brian status - Look, he's on the single promo cover, but that's it.
Mike Love venom - His vocals are so weirdly processed and like hushed but loud. Just awful. Uh, he didn't "co-write" this, but it doesn't seem to matter to answer my earlier question. 

Next week - Let's give Al some love with their cover of "Crocodile Rock."
I realized I double posted immediately. This write up may have gotten lost, so I'll bump it.
Look, you have to establish context for these things. And I maintain that unless you appreciate the Fall of Constantinople, the Great Fire of London, and Mickey Mantle's fatalist alcoholism, live Freddy makes no sense. If you want to half-ass it, fine, go call Simon Schama to do the appendix.

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Re: The Thread to Ruminate About Mike Love's Rape Van

Post by Dr. Medulla »

This is so so so grading on a curve, but this is the most passable of the dung era. It's entirely unimaginative, but it's not overtly offensive.
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Re: The Thread to Ruminate About Mike Love's Rape Van

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Dr. Medulla wrote:
10 Oct 2022, 5:09pm
This is so so so grading on a curve, but this is the most passable of the dung era. It's entirely unimaginative, but it's not overtly offensive.
When I'm done, I'm going to have to do a side by side with the KISS reviews. It feels like The Beach Boys are scoring lower than KISS and that just doesn't seem right.
Look, you have to establish context for these things. And I maintain that unless you appreciate the Fall of Constantinople, the Great Fire of London, and Mickey Mantle's fatalist alcoholism, live Freddy makes no sense. If you want to half-ass it, fine, go call Simon Schama to do the appendix.

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Re: The Thread to Ruminate About Mike Love's Rape Van

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matedog wrote:
10 Oct 2022, 5:29pm
Dr. Medulla wrote:
10 Oct 2022, 5:09pm
This is so so so grading on a curve, but this is the most passable of the dung era. It's entirely unimaginative, but it's not overtly offensive.
When I'm done, I'm going to have to do a side by side with the KISS reviews. It feels like The Beach Boys are scoring lower than KISS and that just doesn't seem right.
The gap between potential/past performance and what you've chosen to endure is much wider with the BBs.
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Re: The Thread to Ruminate About Mike Love's Rape Van

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Trying to get back to Friday schedule:

1991's "Crocodile Rock'" from the Elton John tribute album "Two Rooms: Celebrating the Songs of Elton John & Bernie Taupin"
Lead Vocal - Al Jardine and Carl Wilson 

I haven't been able to find a lot of background info on this one. As noted, it's from an Elton tribute album of which this song was not a single, yet it received a shiny video to go along with it. The album seems to be most notable for the Kate Bush cover of Rocket Man which made it to #12 in the UK (and didn't chart in the US). It's a reggae cover that has prominent concertina and a uilleann pipe solo at the end. The video is pretty out there. I was initially put off by it, but as the video went along, I realized it was pretty intentionally over the top and I could get into it:


Anyway, we are here to talk about "Crocodile Rock." Elton's original made it to #5 in the UK and #1 in the US and is an enduring hit that is a part of any and every Elton comp. The Beach Boys cover wasn't released as a single, yet they made a video for some reason so now I'm stuck doing a deep dive on this. Their last real cover was "California Dreamin'" (sorry, "Wipeout," you are too ambitious for "cover" status) which people wrongly think is good, so let's see if covers are the secret to them getting out of their post-Kokomo rut. 

Lyrics: 
I'm not doing an analysis of the lyrics as it's a cover, but this was an obvious choice for The Boys to tackle. The original came out in 1972 and is an homage to 1950s rock and roll and R&R culture. There's a heavy dose of Boomer nostalgia in the song which The Beach Boys were leaning very heavily on by 1991. The original even pre-dates the "Endless Summer" compilation which was the band's first foray into Boomer nostalgia culture. Also, I'd like to take this opportunity to note that I have never heard of the term "skimming stones", only  "skipping stones." Apparently there is a legit difference between the two - skipping being how many times you can skip, skimming being seeing how far you can skip across the surface. It always bothered me because I assumed it was some UK/US thing, but apparently Bernie Taupin wasn't wrong.

Music: Like seemingly most songs of this era, the song kicks off with some giant early 90s drums before The Boys enter with some serious college acapella group vocals. The backing band joins with typical bass, piano, guitar and what sounds like maybe some ukulele strumming. Gone is the love it or hate it farfisa of the original. So basically, they traded instrumentation as nostalgia with vocals as nostalgia. I appreciate the change up and it's all well executed if a bit sterile. The live versions are all pretty tight, so it's nice to know they could replicate these vocal arrangements accurately live at the time. One other trick I enjoy in this version is Al's verses are basically just drums and backing vocals. Give a bit more umph to the band joining back in. Holy fuck, is that some double bass drumming I hear during the fill at 0:40? I was not expecting that. The drums even go to half time for a few sections. That fill cueing the band cutting out and Carl's solo vocal at 2:38 is perfect as is the driving bass drum ramping up the excitement coming out of that section. Fuck it this is the antithesis of the song-ruining drum arrangement of their "California Dreamin'". I'd discuss the rest of the instrumentation more, but I'm enjoying this drumming too much. Everything else is fine I guess. 

Vocally Al gets the lead like he did on their last cover. Per usual, he's solid and committed. Carl gets a mini solo vocal and sounds great as always. Ultimately though, they both lack the energy and charisma of Elton's original. It was a similar problem to Dreamin'. I'm not even a fan of the original, but there is some real gusto in Elton's vocal that's lacking in this one. 

Video: The video leans heavily on the nostalgic lyrical themes which is an obvious if inoffensive idea. We got cheerleaders, a drive in theater, a mini golf course, greasers, beehive hairdo girls doing The Twist,  a guy in a giant crocodile head playing piano, some dude with a retainer dancing. The Boys are wearing some dreadful clothes and look old as shit. Coward Bruce Johnston even leaves the shorts at home and puts on a god damn suit. Still, they look lame as hell. Even Carl's sex appeal is minimal. There's just a lot of shit in this video. Quick edits of all sorts of generally unrelated stuff. There's some semblance of a plot with a greaser losing his girlfriend to a "foreign man" which apparently had less racist associations with xenophobia back then. Stamos cameos dancing with some girl while wearing a horrible mustache. If his cameo was too subtle, he takes his glasses off and mugs real hard into the camera at the 3:40 mark. In the middle of the Stamos mugging, there's a quick cut of this:
Image
Which...I'm okay with. 

Song grade: C The drumming is way better than it needs to be and I don't mind the rearrangement strategy of vocals over instrumentation to elicit nostalgia. The sterility brings down the instrumentation though, so I'll say it's ultimately a draw with the original. For the vocals, Al/Carl try their hardest, but the vocals are a downgrade compared to Elton's vibrant original. Okay song gets and okay cover. 
Video grade:  C There is so much shit in this video and the cuts are so quick, I missed the crocodile/human sex until the like tenth viewing. It certainly matches the themes of the song if a bit of a caricature. It's almost so bad it's good if the band didn't look so lame and the editing wasn't so 90s and Stamos didn't mug so hard. And the worst part is knowing how much more Stamos there is to come. 

Choice Youtube Comment: dude livin through the nineties musta been like a living night mare - Gabriel Fewkes
Brian status - Nowhere to be found. I think he was clawing his way out of Landy's grasp at this time and simulatanously being sued by Mike.
Mike Love venom - Pretty benign except knowing he was suing Brian at the time.

Next week - Ugh, we are beginning the Summer in Paradise singles with "Hot Fun in the Summertime."
Look, you have to establish context for these things. And I maintain that unless you appreciate the Fall of Constantinople, the Great Fire of London, and Mickey Mantle's fatalist alcoholism, live Freddy makes no sense. If you want to half-ass it, fine, go call Simon Schama to do the appendix.

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Re: The Thread to Ruminate About Mike Love's Rape Van

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matedog wrote:
14 Oct 2022, 5:15pm
Ultimately though, they both lack the energy and charisma of Elton's original. It was a similar problem to Dreamin'. I'm not even a fan of the original, but there is some real gusto in Elton's vocal that's lacking in this one. 
Fully agree with you here, and I'll go further by saying I actively dislike the original.
Video: The video leans heavily on the nostalgic lyrical themes which is an obvious if inoffensive idea. We got cheerleaders, a drive in theater, a mini golf course, greasers, beehive hairdo girls doing The Twist,  a guy in a giant crocodile head playing piano, some dude with a retainer dancing. The Boys are wearing some dreadful clothes and look old as shit. Coward Bruce Johnston even leaves the shorts at home and puts on a god damn suit. Still, they look lame as hell. Even Carl's sex appeal is minimal. There's just a lot of shit in this video. Quick edits of all sorts of generally unrelated stuff. There's some semblance of a plot with a greaser losing his girlfriend to a "foreign man" which apparently had less racist associations with xenophobia back then. Stamos cameos dancing with some girl while wearing a horrible mustache. If his cameo was too subtle, he takes his glasses off and mugs real hard into the camera at the 3:40 mark. In the middle of the Stamos mugging, there's a quick cut of this:
Image
Which...I'm okay with. 
There's a moderately appealing fuckeduppedness to the video. Less the whacky that they were going for than the burning wreck of diaper vans on the side of the road. For the same reason people will return to the Star Wars Holiday Special every so often.
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Re: The Thread to Ruminate About Mike Love's Rape Van

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Dr. Medulla wrote:
14 Oct 2022, 5:46pm

Image


There's a moderately appealing fuckeduppedness to the video. Less the whacky that they were going for than the burning wreck of diaper vans on the side of the road. For the same reason people will return to the Star Wars Holiday Special every so often.
Yeah, I was very much on the fence. Some of it's enjoyable bad and some is just bad. Maybe I should bump it up to a C+.
Look, you have to establish context for these things. And I maintain that unless you appreciate the Fall of Constantinople, the Great Fire of London, and Mickey Mantle's fatalist alcoholism, live Freddy makes no sense. If you want to half-ass it, fine, go call Simon Schama to do the appendix.

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Re: The Thread to Ruminate About Mike Love's Rape Van

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1992's "Hot Fun in the Summertime'" from the 1992 album "Summer in Paradise"
Lead Vocal - Mike Love and Carl Wilson

It has been seven long years and one super smash single since 1985's self titled long player. In spite of the lack of success from the post-Kokomo singles, the iron was still hot enough to warrant a new album and Kokomo had enough residual clout to assign Mike Love and Terry Melcher as the leading forces for the new album. Per interviews, Mike was going to make the "quintessential soundtrack to summer." I'll try not to rehash too much info on the album as it is well documented on Trainwreckords:


The leadoff single is also the album opener, a cover of Sly and the Family Stone's 1969 single "Hot Fun in the Summertime." On a personal note, I got really into Sly and the Family Stone pre-streaming when I was still buying albums in like 2008, so I had never actually heard this song as I didn't own any compilations. It reached #2 in the US when it came out, so it was a very sizable hit, but I don't think it has really stayed in the cultural consciousness. For example, it's a distant 6th most played song of theirs on Spotify. Consequently, the Beach Boys version was the first version I have heard and I didn't listen to that version until 2015 during that fateful summer when I realized this Cut the Crap-esque album existed.
Having listened to the original now, it doesn't do as much for me as a lot of their other material. The band sounds great and there's some nice interplay between the singers that makes sense for the Boys to cover. Still, the sweeping strings and lazy verses bring the song down for me. It lacks the energy and fun of their best stuff. It's not bad, but one of their weaker better known songs. That being said, I do think this was an inspired and probably unexpected choice for The Boys to cover. Funk and soul were never something you associated with the band, especially in the late 80s, early 90s. Let's see if it's a genre they should have mined long ago, or if they should have stuck with the safety of Terry's pen. 

Lyrics: Pretty minimal, but decently evocative - county fairs, a girl that comes and goes, you know, summer stuff. Nothing particularly off brand for The Beach Boys, if a bit more edgy than their typical take given the source material.

Music: If you want to know the "Summer in Paradise" aesthetic, you'll understand it immediately as this one kicks things off with some of the most wretched drum sounds and sanitized vocals you'll ever hear  - the song title is sung followed by an absurdly loud and deep "YEAH" followed immediately by "bow bow bow bow" backing vocal. I guess the vocals are sort of old school barbershop, except they are so awfully processed and weirdly mixed that it is immediately jarring and off putting. Everything sounds so artificial and the drums are the most strident to my ears. This is basically the most early 90s drum sound you could scientifically create. 

Mike takes the snail's pace verses which are pretty faithful to the original but obviously lack the rougher, more soulful edges. The slower tempo makes it sound like he's practically falling asleep. Somehow the version with the strings and horns sounds less polished than Mike/Melcher's product. As noted earlier, the refrain allows for a trade off of vocals, just like the original. Carl has the thankless task of doing Rose Stone's terrific part and he's certainly the most qualified to do so. He definitely sounds great on this track throughout even if he lacks the grit of the original. In fact, this is basically the only track on the album where he gets to belt and get soulful. I'm 90% certain Adrain Baker does the falsetto part and not the coward Bruce Johnston who pretends to do it in the video. The section is the relative highlight of this abysmal affair. Next is a fucking sax solo because I guess we were still doing that in 1992. The jarring backing vocals are back in effect as if just a sax solo wasn't bad enough. 

Sure enough, the live versions were much closer to the Sly and the Family Stone original - the tempo is more jaunty and less crawling, the drums don't make my ears bleed, the sax player is just soloing the entire time which is somehow less shitty than the spot in the album version (probably because it's more of an accompaniment and less of a traditional solo), and Carl really rips his adlibs. There's even a cool breakdown at 2:30.  I almost like this version. At least it isn't a dramatic downgrade from the original:


Video: We get what this song deserves - a shitty studio backlot "city" set. A sexy meter maid gets less sexy by removing her glasses. It's the early 90s, so women are still meant to be naked and oogled and that's what happens here. The excuse presumably is that it's hot out. This is basically a white "Do the Right Thing." The band shows up and they look like shit - Bruce has his signature shorts on and a shirt I owned as a 9 year old, Mike and Al also rock shorts and Hawaian shirts. At least Carl looks cool in shades and a white suit - he don't give a fuck about the heat. Stamos is back on the drums in a leather vest mugging like he always does because fuck Stamos. Halfway through, weird "kid" versions of them appear for some reason and play with the real versions. Kid Carl looks dope with this fake beard though. I get it, everyone is having fun in the summertime and that fun is of the "hot" variety. Oh and Bruce joins the likes of Mike Love and daughter-raping John Phillips by pretending to play sax in this video. God, Bruce sucks so much. 

Song grade: D. Take a good, not great song and give it the most sterile 90s sheen, slow it down so it's practically somnabulic, add some discomforting backing vocals and you got what has to be one of the more perplexing choices for a lead off single. There were like four "Kokomo" rip offs on this album and they went with a 6/8 soul cover because that's what people wanted in 1992? I have to give it props for being an unexpected choice if horribly executed and Carl sounds great on it.  The live version upgrades to probably a C+, maybe even B-.

Video grade:  C- . Well, they went with obvious warm summer hangout theme but don't really do much with it except show off a non-bespectacled women's body and do the weird kid versions of the Beach Boys thing. It's generally harmless, so I can't rag on it too much. 
Choice Youtube Comment: "There is a lot to think about in this video." - now
Brian status - Thankfully MIA
Mike Love venom - Mike covering Sly's vocal parts is pretty rough. Plus he's the co-force behind this production, so he's very culpable for this mess.

Next week - We are at peak Stamos with his fucking remake of "Forever."
Look, you have to establish context for these things. And I maintain that unless you appreciate the Fall of Constantinople, the Great Fire of London, and Mickey Mantle's fatalist alcoholism, live Freddy makes no sense. If you want to half-ass it, fine, go call Simon Schama to do the appendix.

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Re: The Thread to Ruminate About Mike Love's Rape Van

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Bonus bit:
How cool is the UK/Europe artwork for the single?
Image

Probably the only noteworthy cover art from this era. I'm assuming Roy Lichtenstein?
Look, you have to establish context for these things. And I maintain that unless you appreciate the Fall of Constantinople, the Great Fire of London, and Mickey Mantle's fatalist alcoholism, live Freddy makes no sense. If you want to half-ass it, fine, go call Simon Schama to do the appendix.

matedog
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Re: The Thread to Ruminate About Mike Love's Rape Van

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Per the google, I also found this Italian comp from 93:
Image
Look, you have to establish context for these things. And I maintain that unless you appreciate the Fall of Constantinople, the Great Fire of London, and Mickey Mantle's fatalist alcoholism, live Freddy makes no sense. If you want to half-ass it, fine, go call Simon Schama to do the appendix.

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Re: The Thread to Ruminate About Mike Love's Rape Van

Post by Dr. Medulla »

Sorry, just realized you'd posted a new review. Jesus, what a slog. Apparently the summertime hot fun is about five beers into the afternoon and on the verge of a nap. All these records sound like contractual obligation product.
"I never doubted myself for a minute for I knew that my monkey-strong bowels were girded with strength, like the loins of a dragon ribboned with fat and the opulence of buffalo dung." - Richard Nixon, Checkers Speech, abandoned early draft

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