The Thread to Ruminate About Mike Love's Rape Van

[WestwayKid]

He's one screwy dude. That said, I'll be legit sad when Mike dies. Love him or hate him, he's a core member of America's Band.

Oh god yeah, I'm gonna be devastated.

A bit past the discussion now, but the thing with Carl isn't that he was cool - it's that he seemed like a genuinely sweet guy, had a great voice, and approached the band with sincerity - those elements often worked to produce favorable results, but he they were all the blind leading the blind (except maybe for Dennis) whenever they tried to be cool.

Kind of an offshoot, but I've wondered if things would have been different if David Marks had stayed in the band. He was making some great music by the late 60's with his band, The Moon. He's a legit guitar player and one thing the Boys lacked was a legit guitar player when having a legit guitar player was almost deemed necessary to be cool. Yes, Carl could play, but not in the way that Dave could/does play. Think of an alternate universe where he stays in the band and then they bring Al back to replace Brian instead of hiring Bruce.

[Flex]

He's one screwy dude. That said, I'll be legit sad when Mike dies. Love him or hate him, he's a core member of America's Band.

Oh god yeah, I'm gonna be devastated.

A bit past the discussion now, but the thing with Carl isn't that he was cool - it's that he seemed like a genuinely sweet guy, had a great voice, and approached the band with sincerity - those elements often worked to produce favorable results, but he they were all the blind leading the blind (except maybe for Dennis) whenever they tried to be cool.

Kind of an offshoot, but I've wondered if things would have been different if David Marks had stayed in the band. He was making some great music by the late 60's with his band, The Moon. He's a legit guitar player and one thing the Boys lacked was a legit guitar player when having a legit guitar player was almost deemed necessary to be cool. Yes, Carl could play, but not in the way that Dave could/does play. Think of an alternate universe where he stays in the band and then they bring Al back to replace Brian instead of hiring Bruce.

Yeah, this is an interesting point. I bought a 50 essays on 50 beach boys type book back around the 50th and David did a short essay on surfin safari. He touts that he basically was playing punk rock guitar back in 62 on the song and album - maybe a little bit of a stretch, but not by too much. I wouldn't suggest that the beach boys would ever really be the stooges or something, but keeping David around and not bringing Bruce's charmin-soft sensibilities into the band may have a resulted in a more muscular group that could have fit in with the late 60s-70s much better. Beach Boys as proto-punk.*



*CHUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!

[WestwayKid]

He's one screwy dude. That said, I'll be legit sad when Mike dies. Love him or hate him, he's a core member of America's Band.

Oh god yeah, I'm gonna be devastated.

A bit past the discussion now, but the thing with Carl isn't that he was cool - it's that he seemed like a genuinely sweet guy, had a great voice, and approached the band with sincerity - those elements often worked to produce favorable results, but he they were all the blind leading the blind (except maybe for Dennis) whenever they tried to be cool.

Kind of an offshoot, but I've wondered if things would have been different if David Marks had stayed in the band. He was making some great music by the late 60's with his band, The Moon. He's a legit guitar player and one thing the Boys lacked was a legit guitar player when having a legit guitar player was almost deemed necessary to be cool. Yes, Carl could play, but not in the way that Dave could/does play. Think of an alternate universe where he stays in the band and then they bring Al back to replace Brian instead of hiring Bruce.

Yeah, this is an interesting point. I bought a 50 essays on 50 beach boys type book back around the 50th and David did a short essay on surfin safari. He touts that he basically was playing punk rock guitar back in 62 on the song and album - maybe a little bit of a stretch, but not by too much. I wouldn't suggest that the beach boys would ever really be the stooges or something, but keeping David around and not bringing Bruce's charmin-soft sensibilities into the band may have a resulted in a more muscular group that could have fit in with the late 60s-70s much better. Beach Boys as proto-punk.*

*CHUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!

Even when they tried to rock hard in the post Smile years they sounded stilted.

[Dr. Medulla]

Beach Boys punk was The Jesus & Mary Chain's Psychocandy, of course.

[gkbill]

Beach Boys punk was The Jesus & Mary Chain's Psychocandy, of course.

Hello,

True. I like it.

[Dr. Medulla]

Beach Boys punk was The Jesus & Mary Chain's Psychocandy, of course.

Hello,

True. I like it.

I love how it falls apart at the end. Love that band somethin' fierce.

[matedog]

1985's "It's Getting Late" from the album  "The Beach Boys" (1985)

Lead Vocal - Carl Wilson
"Getcha Back" got the Beach Boys back in the charts in the MTV-era. Hitmaker extraordinaire Mike Love was the lead on that single, but Carl gets the nod for the follow up single. This stalled at #82 compared to GB's #26, so Carl clearly didn't have the magic touch that Mike Love did in the 80s. Carl got help from Robert White Johnson who later struck gold with Celine Dion's "Where Does My Heart Beat Now" and Carl's solo album co-pilot Myrna Smith who was in a group with Whitney Houston's mom and sang backup for Elvis. Irrespective of the chart performance, let's see if this song and video are worthwhile.

Lyrics: Carl really wants a girl to put out. "I'm so tired of waiting, come on there's no one else around." Classic smooth talking approach of "you should really put out because your parents aren't coming home for another ten minutes." Also, "my love is rising high" has to be referring to his penis and is definitely something Paul Stanely would have written around the time. It's...not good.

Music: Whereas GB started with horrific 80s drum sounds, this starts with horrific 80s keyboard sounds - fake and airy and dreadful. The "aaah" vocals get the same dreadful treatment. This is one of those weird songs where the chorus sounds like it should be the verse and vice versa. Carl croons lightly on the intro chorus which is fine but a bit limp. Fortunately, a drumfill leads us into Carl's full throated verse where he sounds fucking tough. The second chorus has a bit more vocal riffing which sounds better, though the farty synths bring it all down. The hard ass verses are clearly the highlight and no surprise this wasn't a hit, because you don't make the catchy good part the non-repetitive part. Backing vocals are pretty standard, tasteful, but nothing too Beach Boys-y. 

Apparently this song isn't popular enough to warrant any chord/guitar transcriptions, so I got nothing on the music theory front, but nothing jumps out to my ears.

Video: Like any classic 80s sequel, this one begins right where "Getcha Back" left off with 80s babe and hot Carney hanging out and smooching on the beach. 80s babe's aryan friends show up and are perplexed that she's with a buff good looking dude that needs glasses so he can see better. He's upset for some reason, so she leaves with her aryan brothers and sisters.

Hot Carney stays at the beach for a loooong time because now it's night. Out of nowhere, an even hotter, beefier ghost surfer dude shows up. I totally expected them to start making out, but alas, beefcake ghost surfer uses his magic conch to fix hot Carney's eyesight so he no longer needs glasses. He then goes to the aryan brotherhood beach meeting where 80s babe is hanging out, except this time without his glasses, he's now 80s hot (though lacking a post-ironic edge). The girls immediately flock to this sex magnet which makes 80s babe jealous. That is, until the magic wears off and his ugly glasses go back on which makes the master race mock him immediately. Beefcake ghost surfer feels bad so he turns the aryans into I guess nerds. It's hard to tell with the really quick editing. The aryan nerds look like they are having a real hipster party that I wish I would have been invited to in college while our protagonists get back together. Brian shows up at the end to use the magical conch shell to magically disappear from the Summer In Paradise album. 

Song grade: B. The chorus gets a C with those terrible synths and Carl's limp cooing, but the verses hit hard with Carl's blue eyed soul sounding great and get an A. Why didn't Carl only sing like this? Averages out to a solid B.
Video grade: B. Love the continuation of the story with the new character of gay beefcake ghost surfer. Everything is pretty rushed and dumb, but so were most things in that decade. Bummer that we didn't get a trilogy out of this as the ending hints. I really want to go to that hipster party. What did 80s hipsters party to? Bauhaus? The Smiths?
Choice Youtube Comment: "I’m getting the CD that has 2 albums on 1 CD the 2 albums on 1 CD it starts at track 12 total of 22 tracks what’s cool about this video is at the end u can hear a little bit of California Calling"Brian status - The only member who appears in the video with a cute cameo at the end.
Mike Love venom - No appearance in the video and no leads in the song
Next week: Time for some Made in the USA singles with "Rock n Roll to the Rescue"

[Dr. Medulla]

Song grade: B. The chorus gets a C with those terrible synths and Carl's limp cooing, but the verses hit hard with Carl's blue eyed soul sounding great and get an A. Why didn't Carl only sing like this? Averages out to a solid B.

This is an insanely generous evaluation. I'm not sure how anyone would have thought this should have been released as a single or even recorded. If this were the first Beach Boys song you'd ever heard—and knew nothing about them—would you want to hear more? This is not worth a B. Hell, by that standard, "Kokomo" merits an A+.

[matedog]

Song grade: B. The chorus gets a C with those terrible synths and Carl's limp cooing, but the verses hit hard with Carl's blue eyed soul sounding great and get an A. Why didn't Carl only sing like this? Averages out to a solid B.

This is an insanely generous evaluation. I'm not sure how anyone would have thought this should have been released as a single or even recorded. If this were the first Beach Boys song you'd ever heard—and knew nothing about them—would you want to hear more? This is not worth a B. Hell, by that standard, "Kokomo" merits an A+.

I really really like Carl's vocals in the mid to late 80s and he sounds awesome on this. I'm not sure if he actually sounds that good or if it's just relative to creepy overenunciators (Mike) or the vanilla limp singers (Bruce) in the band. You have this goofy then weird surf band and all of sudden this big soulful voice busts out of a song and it's unexpected and I love it.

Kokomo is going to get a high grade.

[Dr. Medulla]

Song grade: B. The chorus gets a C with those terrible synths and Carl's limp cooing, but the verses hit hard with Carl's blue eyed soul sounding great and get an A. Why didn't Carl only sing like this? Averages out to a solid B.

This is an insanely generous evaluation. I'm not sure how anyone would have thought this should have been released as a single or even recorded. If this were the first Beach Boys song you'd ever heard—and knew nothing about them—would you want to hear more? This is not worth a B. Hell, by that standard, "Kokomo" merits an A+.

I really really like Carl's vocals in the mid to late 80s and he sounds awesome on this. I'm not sure if he actually sounds that good or if it's just relative to creepy overenunciators (Mike) or the vanilla limp singers (Bruce) in the band. You have this goofy then weird surf band and all of sudden this big soulful voice busts out of a song and it's unexpected and I love it.

Even if you can enjoy one aspect of the performance, c'mon, the song and the rest of the performance is turd stew.

Kokomo is going to get a high grade.

This is a sham and a travesty—a shavesty!

[matedog]

I'm hoping WWK or Flex got my back on this...

[Flex]

I'm hoping WWK or Flex got my back on this...

In, ah, what sense?

[BostonBeaneater]

I'm hoping WWK or Flex got my back on this...

In, ah, what sense?

The video was enjoyable.

[WestwayKid]

I'm hoping WWK or Flex got my back on this...

I think this track has to be seen through the lens of 1985. The band had long stopped being musically relevant. Dennis was dead. The airwaves were full of a shitty, synthesized music. In that context, it's not that bad. Steve Levine's production is sterile as all get out, but Carl's vocal is strong for most of the song. It does indeed start out a bit limp, but he toughens up. It's a decent song on a bland LP. Compared to California Girls, it's garbage. Compared to Crack At Your Love or She Believes In Love Again it's an admirable attempt.

[Dr. Medulla]

I'm hoping WWK or Flex got my back on this...

I think this track has to be seen through the lens of 1985. The band had long stopped being musically relevant. Dennis was dead. The airwaves were full of a shitty, synthesized music. In that context, it's not that bad. Steve Levine's production is sterile as all get out, but Carl's vocal is strong for most of the song. It does indeed start out a bit limp, but he toughens up. It's a decent song on a bland LP. Compared to California Girls, it's garbage. Compared to Crack At Your Love or She Believes In Love Again it's an admirable attempt.

That's a whole lot of skewing, bending, manipulating, and grading on a curve to turn this into a positive … which is pretty damning.