The Great Lyrics Thread

[Dr. Medulla]

Plenty of Momus lyrics that I love, but I especially appreciate "Rhetoric," where an expression of love is set against apocalypse:

I'll love you till they figure out the way that life began
I'll love you till the newspaper reports the fall of man
I'll love you till you turn into a person I don't know
I'll love you till the desert sands are buried under snow
I'll love you till the razorblades are held against my neck
I'll love you till the sea glows purple and the sky goes black
I'll love you till Mount Everest falls down into the sea
I'll love you till the tiny worms go burrowing in me
The lovely owl upon the bough is swooping down for me
The brambles tangle round and round far as the eye can see
I'll love you till the astronauts go walking on the sun
I'll love you till the reaper comes to wake me with his gun
I'll love you till the melting clocks have chimed a melting hour
I'll love you till the world has stopped and time has lost its power
I love you like the engine of a little blue machine
I love you like the bee that dies, dies astride a queen

[Dr. Medulla]

Priests and cannibals, prehistoric animals
Everybody happy as the dead come home
Big black nemesis, parthenogenesis
No one move a muscle as the dead come home

Shriekback, "Nemesis"

[Kory]

Priests and cannibals, prehistoric animals
Everybody happy as the dead come home
Big black nemesis, parthenogenesis
No one move a muscle as the dead come home

Shriekback, "Nemesis"

I've always been interested in this band because of the Dave Allen angle, but I haven't heard anything that interested me. Are you a decent-sized fan? Where am I going wrong with checking them out?

[Dr. Medulla]

Priests and cannibals, prehistoric animals
Everybody happy as the dead come home
Big black nemesis, parthenogenesis
No one move a muscle as the dead come home

Shriekback, "Nemesis"

I've always been interested in this band because of the Dave Allen angle, but I haven't heard anything that interested me. Are you a decent-sized fan? Where am I going wrong with checking them out?

Moderate fan. Everything up to Oil & Gold is good, but then things go tits up. Well, that's not entirely fair. I heard some stuff from, I dunno, a dozen years ago that wasn't bad.

[Dr. Medulla]

A suggestion: Jello's finest work is the lyric collage of "The Power of Lard."

Lard, you can see it in the clouds up in the sky
Lard floats by in clusters in our water supply
Lard, it's all of us, man, in our pores and in our hair
Lard's what we conceal in those corny clothes we wear
Lard is all
Lard is divine
Lard is in control
Lard whips and chains our soul
We carry credit cards
We live in fear of art
Lard is the om
Lard is revolution
Lard is the tapeworm in the bottle of cheap tequila
That comes alive at night and sneaks up and bites your nipple
Lard

Nowadays, most of us need someone to run our personal life
Someone to see that the plants are watered
Someone to make sure the place is clean
Someone to make sure dinner is waiting
Someone to call for theater tickets
Someone to make up those cheap excuses
What we need is lard
Lard

The answer
The dancer
The ointment
The dream
Absorb it
Inflame it
Respect it
Molest it
Lard

The country right now, it wants to be soothed
And told it doesn't have to pay or sacrifice or learn
No one is over the hill when the mountain comes to Muhammad
We love to eat, we love to pray
Mold over mind, hooray!

The power of lard
The power of lard
The power of lard
The power of lard

Every time I take a crap, it's a cosmic experience
Religion and chemicals are the key to the future
Next time we have sex, just pretend that I'm Ed Meese
The weasels have it down, man, it's a whole new age

Which would you prefer, a computer or a gun?
The sharks outlived the dinosaurs, you know

The power of lard
The power of lard
The power of lard
The power of lard

Pity the poor trainer in the stable when the racehorse farts
Poison oak really is the aphrodisiac of the gods
When people are asleep, we must all become alarm clocks
Hey, man, life is my college

It's dental floss of the mind
Who will babysit the babysitters?

Ever hear about the guy in New York whose dick
Fell off in the bath after he shot it full of coke?
It's okay to run out of butter in Zambia
Just smear squashed caterpillars on your toast
Waiter, there's a terrorist in my soup
Which came first, Max Headroom or Gerald Ford?
Are you a man or are you a mouse?
If you love your fun, die for it!

The power of lard
The power of lard
The power of lard
The power of lard

Who's gonna babysit the babysitters
The power of lard
Avoid everything
Everything
The power of lard
Lard! Lard! Lard! Lard!

[Flex]

Fucking love that song. Agreed, one of Jello's finest moments.

[revbob]

Fucking love that song. Agreed, one of Jello's finest moments.

Absolutely. I was thrilled the first time I heard the local college station play it.

[Dr. Medulla]

Woke up from a dream with this playing in my head …

The Mekons, "Ghosts of American Astronauts"
Up in the hills above Bradford
Outside the Napalm factory
(They're floating above us)
Ghosts of American astronauts
Glow in the headlight's beam

It's just a small step for him
It's a nice break from Vietnam
(Filmed in a factory)
Out on the back lot in Houston
Who says the world isn't flat
A flag flying free in a vacuum
Nixon sucks a dry martini
Ghosts of American astronauts
Stay with us in our dreams

John Glenn drinks cocktails with God
In a cafe in downtown Saigon
(High above them)
Ghosts of American Astronauts
Are drifting too close to the sun

A flag flying free in a vacuum
Nixon sucks a dry Martini
Ghosts of American astronauts
Stay with us in our dreams

[Dr. Medulla]

Another Momus gem:

I was created in the fleshpots of Araby
My mother was the Emperor's secretary
My father, a notorious libertine
Escaped from Sodom and Gomorrah, the cities of the plain
You can read my family's rise and fall in Gibbon
I was born to be adored by women

Well Seth begat Clem and then Clem begat Ruth
And then Ruth begat me and all hell broke loose
The tribes all began to multiply and boom
And, looking at their kids, no-one knew from whom
The beautiful things kept springing
I was born to be adored by women

My hair is long, distinguished, prematurely grey
I've got a mouth like Ernest Hemingway's ashtray
I've fathered 103 illegitimate kids
I've never met a mother I couldn't bed
I love children, spiders, snakes, and anything living
I was born to be adored by women

Some guys can erect garden furniture
That must be what God invented husbands for
But if you need a milk chocolate in the shape of a man
If you need a chunk of marzipan the size of Taiwan
Look up the chimney, see what Santa's bringing
I was born to be adored by women

Well I know I'm always late since my watch got sold
But I'm worth the wait, the weight in gold
After God made me, they broke the mould
And I've broken all the records with that old song
Bold girls are so fond of singing
I was born to be adored by women

Well my favourite bird is the cuckoo, punk
My favourite beast the funky skunk
My favourite colour is the emerald green
Chuck the football king goes when his beauty queen
Comes to me when she's chucked him in
I was born to be adored by women

What I don't know about love technique
You could scribble in biro on the balls of your feet
I never wear underwear, I drive a dead beat Landrover
In my bare feet stark naked, there's always one more river to go swim in
I was born to be adored by women

[Dr. Medulla]

Jello says fuck you to your dumb nostalgia.

I was cruising in a car
Down Melrose Boulevard
When I stopped all the traffic
I was laughing so hard
Standing on the corner
Was this rock 'n roll dude
In leather pants thinking he was so cool
He had the jacket
He had the shades
Farrah Fawcett hair
Or was that a wig?
Face like a turtle
Trying in vain to look stoned
You could tell he'd been practicing
In the mirror at home
He'd probably been posing like that all day
Didn't matter that it was a hundred degrees in the shade

Well come on, well come on
70's rock must die
Well come on, well come on
70's rock must die
Well come on, well come on
70's rock must die
Well come on, well come on
70's rock must die

Whoo, yeah

Bogus bands, plastic rock stars
Stupid clothes and the worst made cars
Country rock making us all sick
While John Travolta wags his double-knit prick
Being a teen back then
Man, it was a drag
Bicentennial and no one burned the flag
You think we live in pretty desperate times
When people wanna go back to 1975
My Saturday Night Fever fantasy
Lock the Bee Gees in a Pinto
And ram it from the rear
Burn, baby!

Well come on, well come on
70's rock must die
Well come on, well come on
70's rock must die
Well come on, well come on
70's rock must die
Well come on, well come on
70's rock must die

Ooh, yeah, yeah yeah yeah
We may not have talent but we sure got attitude
Suck my ego, pay to play
Got nothing more to say
As we sell you a stairway to boredom

Uh!
Put your hands together!
Yeah yeah yeah yeah, hey!

Look around at the hip people
Set in their ways
Reaching back to the things they used to say they hate
Young old brats playing fossil rock
Pistol's reunions pass for rebellion
Radio and TV getting so damn bland
With collegiate boy Neil Young copy bands
Underground's becoming an alternative joke
Even Aerosmith hates all the Aerosmith clones
I know they don't make 'em like the Son of Sam
But even punks wanna go back to '77
Give me a break, man

Well come on, well come on
70's rock must die
Well come on, well come on
70's rock must die
Well come on, well come on
70's rock must die
Well come on, well come on
70's rock must die
Well come on, well come on
70's rock must die
Well come on, well come on
70's rock must die
Well come on, well come on
70's rock must die
Well come on, well come on
70's rock must die
Well come on, well come on
70's rock must die

[Flex]

Jello says fuck you to your dumb nostalgia.

I was cruising in a car
Down Melrose Boulevard
When I stopped all the traffic
I was laughing so hard
Standing on the corner
Was this rock 'n roll dude
In leather pants thinking he was so cool
He had the jacket
He had the shades
Farrah Fawcett hair
Or was that a wig?
Face like a turtle
Trying in vain to look stoned
You could tell he'd been practicing
In the mirror at home
He'd probably been posing like that all day
Didn't matter that it was a hundred degrees in the shade

Well come on, well come on
70's rock must die
Well come on, well come on
70's rock must die
Well come on, well come on
70's rock must die
Well come on, well come on
70's rock must die

Whoo, yeah

Bogus bands, plastic rock stars
Stupid clothes and the worst made cars
Country rock making us all sick
While John Travolta wags his double-knit prick
Being a teen back then
Man, it was a drag
Bicentennial and no one burned the flag
You think we live in pretty desperate times
When people wanna go back to 1975
My Saturday Night Fever fantasy
Lock the Bee Gees in a Pinto
And ram it from the rear
Burn, baby!

Well come on, well come on
70's rock must die
Well come on, well come on
70's rock must die
Well come on, well come on
70's rock must die
Well come on, well come on
70's rock must die

Ooh, yeah, yeah yeah yeah
We may not have talent but we sure got attitude
Suck my ego, pay to play
Got nothing more to say
As we sell you a stairway to boredom

Uh!
Put your hands together!
Yeah yeah yeah yeah, hey!

Look around at the hip people
Set in their ways
Reaching back to the things they used to say they hate
Young old brats playing fossil rock
Pistol's reunions pass for rebellion
Radio and TV getting so damn bland
With collegiate boy Neil Young copy bands
Underground's becoming an alternative joke
Even Aerosmith hates all the Aerosmith clones
I know they don't make 'em like the Son of Sam
But even punks wanna go back to '77
Give me a break, man

Well come on, well come on
70's rock must die
Well come on, well come on
70's rock must die
Well come on, well come on
70's rock must die
Well come on, well come on
70's rock must die
Well come on, well come on
70's rock must die
Well come on, well come on
70's rock must die
Well come on, well come on
70's rock must die
Well come on, well come on
70's rock must die
Well come on, well come on
70's rock must die

God I love that song

Addendum: it is also, hilariously, effortlessly good 70s rock.

[Dr. Medulla]

Addendum: it is also, hilariously, effortlessly good 70s rock.

Every band starting out in the garage learns that riff. The shitty ones never leave it behind.

[Dr. Medulla]

I adore the lyrics even if only for the terrible forced rhyme.

The pyramids were in construction
The pharoah glowed with satisfaction
But then to his immense surprise
His empire fell before his eyes
A hundred thousand busy slaves
Downed their tools and stood and stared

The Red seawalls stood like a canyon
The pharoah pulled up in his wagon
And saw within those walls of glass
A herd of whales go racing past
A hundred thousand fishy tales
Crossed his mind about the day

Then Charlton Heston put his vest on

The broken tablets had been mended
The golden calf had been up-ended
And old folk sitting round the fire
Would talk of voices from the sky
Babies sailing down the Nile
The recipe for locust pie
A hundred thousand frogs per mile
We'd always ask them to describe

How Charlton Heston put his vest on

Thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not steal
Shalt not commit adultery
Boils the size of fifty P
Lights! Camel! Action!
Bushes that refuse to burn
See these sandals hardly worn
Raining blood, raining bread
The night we painted Egypt red
Thou shalt not covet, shalt not lie
Thou shalt not bonk your neighbour's wife
The recipe for egg fried lice
A hundred ways to kill a fly
Love your daddy, love your mummy
Put your bread in milk and honey
Loved his fish, he did, he did
Never beat the wife and kids
Slouch though desert, slouch through sand
Until we reach the promised land
Thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not steal
Shalt not commit adultery
Boils the size of fifty P
Lights! Camel! Action!

Charlton Heston put his vest on