The KISS thread

[matedog]

Another single from the tail end of their 80's glory:


This was the other single from their 1988 comp "Smashes, Thrashes, & Hits" (the other being Let's Put the X in Sex). Similar to "X", this finds Paul Stanley in yet another libidinous mood. Subtlety goes out the window with lines like, "You get me up, you never let me down" and "You make me rock hard, baby all night, Love's like a glove and it fits just right." I think "Love" refers to a vagina.

Musically, it's a pretty weak hook. There are some cool reverse snare sounds in the intro that come back in for a drum/vocals only chorus towards the end that is fairly effective. Not much else is noteworthy. Video-wise, Paul is again in questionable attire. This time he takes inspiration from the villain character Bennett from Commando with some shiny chainmail paired with white pants. He likes to swing on that damn bar a lot too. No one else does much. Gene forgets to play a couple times, but nowhere near as bad as "Heaven's on Fire." There's a lovely 80s girl in there so that's not bad, though obviously has aged about as well as all 80s metal videos with women.

(edit review):
Song grade:C The prechorus is nice, but that's about the only thing that I can really get behind other than the aforementioned reverse snare chorus. Really blah.
Video grade: C Gene's at least trying relative to a lot of his other videos at the time. The set looks cheesy as shit though I have a soft spot for Paul's more colorful mid/late 80s get ups. Nothing much else is going on other than usual female props.

[Dr. Medulla]

Another single from the tail end of their 80's glory:


This was the other single from their 1988 comp "Smashes, Thrashes, & Hits" (the other being Let's Put the X in Sex). Similar to "X", this finds Paul Stanley in yet another libidinous mood. Subtlety goes out the window with lines like, "You get me up, you never let me down" and "You make me rock hard, baby all night, Love's like a glove and it fits just right." I think "Love" refers to a vagina.

Don't be so myopic. It means any orifice attached to a woman (no older than 21).

Musically, it's a pretty weak hook. There are some cool reverse snare sounds in the intro that come back in for a drum/vocals only chorus towards the end that is fairly effective. Not much else is noteworthy. Video-wise, Paul is again in questionable attire. This time he takes inspiration from the villain character Bennett from Commando with some shiny chainmail paired with white pants. He likes to swing on that damn bar a lot too. No one else does much. Gene forgets to play a couple times, but nowhere near as bad as "Heaven's on Fire." There's a lovely 80s girl in there so that's not bad, though obviously has aged about as well as all 80s metal videos with women.

Metal videos in the 80s are just one big loogey in the face of feminists. Seriously wincing.

[matedog]

Also, Dianne Warren and Desmond Child both get writing creds on Rock Hard? They were at the peak of their pop metal powers in 88/89. How was this not so much better a song? "Let's Put the X" is much better with Desmond Child. It's basically a poor man's "Rag Doll" and that's...okay?

[revbob]

Also, Dianne Warren and Desmond Child both get writing creds on Rock Hard? They were at the peak of their pop metal powers in 88/89. How was this not so much better a song? "Let's Put the X" is much better with Desmond Child. It's basically a poor man's "Rag Doll" and that's...okay?

You're getting awfully close to praising KISS here.

Also when has x not been in sex?

[Heston]

That is fucking awful. I might bring back "KISS Song of the Day" if this keeps up.

[Heston]

Double post of the Day.

[Dr. Medulla]

That is fucking awful. I might bring back "KISS Song of the Day" if this keeps up.

Yeah, that'll show us!

[gkbill]

That is fucking awful. I might bring back "KISS Song of the Day" if this keeps up.

Hello,

What would you post the other 364 days of the year?

[Dr. Medulla]

That is fucking awful. I might bring back "KISS Song of the Day" if this keeps up.

Hello,

What would you post the other 364 days of the year?

I’ve interpreted Heston’s sporadic, at best, devotion to a KISS Song of the Day as tacit admission that he knows they’re crap.

[matedog]

Winding down the 80s, Paul makes a rare check of his libido to get topical: gang violence is bad with the single "Hide Your Heart."

(note this was the only version on youtube I could find)

The video opens with a serious fact to warn you, if you are interested in tales of Paul's sexual prowess, you better dust off the Smashes, Trashes & Hits comp singles instead: "In New York & LA there are over 80,000 gang members. Last year there were more than 600 deaths related to gang violence." The 80s were a scary time, unlike The Blessed Decade. The video more or less follows the lyrics where some dude and some very PG gang members tussle over a girl. I guess the two dudes die and an imposing Gene closes an oddly glowing ambulance. There are some cool shots of the band playing on the roof with a helicopter in the background, so that's cool.

The song is lame. Minor key chorus to emphasize the seriousness of it, but lacks any redeemable melody. And there are gang "ah ah aaah, hey hey heeey, do do dooo!" vocals that kind of undermine the seriousness. Apparently there are like five versions of this within the year or two this came out including Ace Frehely doing it with Peter Criss on backing vox which is just weird. This is a much better arrangement of a bad song. Bonnie Tyler's a better singer than Paul, so her version is better than Kiss' too. Songwriting ace Desmond Child struck out on this one. Why the hell was everyone dying to do this song in 1989?

Review edit:
Song grade: C+ the drama of the last verse and the "ah ah aaaahs" elevate this slightly above the mediocre chorus.
Video Grade: B Hey, a real themed video with some hilariously unthreatening gang members and cool roof top shots. This is one of their better videos at the time because it's not so damn boring.

[Dr. Medulla]

Winding down the 80s, Paul makes a rare check of his libido to get topical: gang violence is bad with the single "Hide Your Heart."

(note this was the only version on youtube I could find)

The video opens with a serious fact to warn you, if you are interested in tales of Paul's sexual prowess, you better dust off the Smashes, Trashes & Hits comp singles instead: "In New York & LA there are over 80,000 gang members. Last year there were more than 600 deaths related to gang violence." The 80s were a scary time, unlike The Blessed Decade. The video more or less follows the lyrics where some dude and some very PG gang members tussle over a girl. I guess the two dudes die and an imposing Gene closes an oddly glowing ambulance. There are some cool shots of the band playing on the roof with a helicopter in the background, so that's cool.

The song is lame. Minor key chorus to emphasize the seriousness of it, but lacks any redeemable melody. And there are gang "ah ah aaah, hey hey heeey, do do dooo!" vocals that kind of undermine the seriousness. Apparently there are like five versions of this within the year or two this came out including Ace Frehely doing it with Peter Criss on backing vox which is just weird. This is a much better arrangement of a bad song. Bonnie Tyler's a better singer than Paul, so her version is better than Kiss' too. Songwriting ace Desmond Child struck out on this one. Why the hell was everyone dying to do this song in 1989?

From Chuck Klosterman's KISS recap:

Hot in the Shade (1989): Considering the year this was released and the year I was born, I probably listened to this album 300 times, roughly 296 more than necessary. It’s most noteworthy for Simmons’s brazen decision to start singing about the wonders of merciless capitalism without any fear over how that might look, hence “Cadillac Dreams” and “The Street Giveth and the Street Taketh Away.” The rest is pretty much sleepwalking, though. GRADE: D-

https://grantland.com/features/chuck-kl ... l-of-fame/

[matedog]

Winding down the 80s, Paul makes a rare check of his libido to get topical: gang violence is bad with the single "Hide Your Heart."

(note this was the only version on youtube I could find)

The video opens with a serious fact to warn you, if you are interested in tales of Paul's sexual prowess, you better dust off the Smashes, Trashes & Hits comp singles instead: "In New York & LA there are over 80,000 gang members. Last year there were more than 600 deaths related to gang violence." The 80s were a scary time, unlike The Blessed Decade. The video more or less follows the lyrics where some dude and some very PG gang members tussle over a girl. I guess the two dudes die and an imposing Gene closes an oddly glowing ambulance. There are some cool shots of the band playing on the roof with a helicopter in the background, so that's cool.

The song is lame. Minor key chorus to emphasize the seriousness of it, but lacks any redeemable melody. And there are gang "ah ah aaah, hey hey heeey, do do dooo!" vocals that kind of undermine the seriousness. Apparently there are like five versions of this within the year or two this came out including Ace Frehely doing it with Peter Criss on backing vox which is just weird. This is a much better arrangement of a bad song. Bonnie Tyler's a better singer than Paul, so her version is better than Kiss' too. Songwriting ace Desmond Child struck out on this one. Why the hell was everyone dying to do this song in 1989?

From Chuck Klosterman's KISS recap:

Hot in the Shade (1989): Considering the year this was released and the year I was born, I probably listened to this album 300 times, roughly 296 more than necessary. It’s most noteworthy for Simmons’s brazen decision to start singing about the wonders of merciless capitalism without any fear over how that might look, hence “Cadillac Dreams” and “The Street Giveth and the Street Taketh Away.” The rest is pretty much sleepwalking, though. GRADE: D-

https://grantland.com/features/chuck-kl ... l-of-fame/

Got two more videos from this album. Can’t wait! I think I’ll make this a Friday thang.

[Dr. Medulla]

Winding down the 80s, Paul makes a rare check of his libido to get topical: gang violence is bad with the single "Hide Your Heart."

(note this was the only version on youtube I could find)

The video opens with a serious fact to warn you, if you are interested in tales of Paul's sexual prowess, you better dust off the Smashes, Trashes & Hits comp singles instead: "In New York & LA there are over 80,000 gang members. Last year there were more than 600 deaths related to gang violence." The 80s were a scary time, unlike The Blessed Decade. The video more or less follows the lyrics where some dude and some very PG gang members tussle over a girl. I guess the two dudes die and an imposing Gene closes an oddly glowing ambulance. There are some cool shots of the band playing on the roof with a helicopter in the background, so that's cool.

The song is lame. Minor key chorus to emphasize the seriousness of it, but lacks any redeemable melody. And there are gang "ah ah aaah, hey hey heeey, do do dooo!" vocals that kind of undermine the seriousness. Apparently there are like five versions of this within the year or two this came out including Ace Frehely doing it with Peter Criss on backing vox which is just weird. This is a much better arrangement of a bad song. Bonnie Tyler's a better singer than Paul, so her version is better than Kiss' too. Songwriting ace Desmond Child struck out on this one. Why the hell was everyone dying to do this song in 1989?

From Chuck Klosterman's KISS recap:

Hot in the Shade (1989): Considering the year this was released and the year I was born, I probably listened to this album 300 times, roughly 296 more than necessary. It’s most noteworthy for Simmons’s brazen decision to start singing about the wonders of merciless capitalism without any fear over how that might look, hence “Cadillac Dreams” and “The Street Giveth and the Street Taketh Away.” The rest is pretty much sleepwalking, though. GRADE: D-

https://grantland.com/features/chuck-kl ... l-of-fame/

Got two more videos from this album. Can’t wait! I think I’ll make this a Friday thang.

I've been enjoying your examination of some seriously shitty music!

[Dr. Medulla]

An announcement: Next week, I will listen to and evaluate an entire KISS album. But which album? Post your suggestions and rationales here. Everything's up for grabs, from what's awful to what's "good."

[revbob]

An announcement: Next week, I will listen to and evaluate an entire KISS album. But which album? Post your suggestions and rationales here. Everything's up for grabs, from what's awful to what's "good."

Ever the optimist.

I was going to suggest Songs from the Elder but Im pretty sure you did that once right?

Barring that atrocity Im going to suggest Dressed to Kill.