101’s Room

[Wolter]

Right?! I wanted to ask them if they only had kids so the kids would take care of them when they got older.

My mother told me that my dad only wanted kids so that he'd feel/look more like a man. He really wasn't interested in being a dad once the kids were born. The first four kids were born in about a seven-year span, then my next oldest sister and I were accidents well after the eldest group. My mother told him that he was being given a second chance to actually be a dad, but, nope, he limited himself to being a provider (and he was a good one), but raising kids was left to her.

That generation of men.

Ali’s father actually told her if he had it to do again, he would’ve never had kids and spent more time sailing.

Ouch!

Yeah. He can be a real selfish asshole.

[JennyB]

My mother told me that my dad only wanted kids so that he'd feel/look more like a man. He really wasn't interested in being a dad once the kids were born. The first four kids were born in about a seven-year span, then my next oldest sister and I were accidents well after the eldest group. My mother told him that he was being given a second chance to actually be a dad, but, nope, he limited himself to being a provider (and he was a good one), but raising kids was left to her.

That generation of men.

Ali’s father actually told her if he had it to do again, he would’ve never had kids and spent more time sailing.

Ouch!

Yeah. He can be a real selfish asshole.

Damn.

[Marky Dread]

Shouldn't come as a surprise that the primary reason why I didn't want kids was a fear that I'd be as lousy a father as I had, and I didn't want that on my conscience.

I reckon you would make a really fine dad.

[Flex]

I reckon you would make a really fine dad.

Blasting Swans records at kids is a good development tactic, after all.

Me and the missus are in the kid discussion at the moment. Without going into a bunch of details, there are some health issues that are concerning to us. Not, like, heritable stuff but some concern about whether there'd be an impact on our ability to be good caregivers. We know there's "no perfect time to have kids" or perfect situation to bring kids into and what have you, but it's tough stuff to weigh.

Addendum: This is also more just me, but I have some ethical concerns about the kind of world we'd be bringing kids into with climate change looking like what it will be. I'm not sure I'd want to make someone have to live in what I think our future will be.

[Marky Dread]

I always loved other people's kids but never wanted one myself, didn't fancy the responsibility or the worry. I did become a Dad eventually (unplanned at the age of 37) but when it happened it was the best thing that ever happened to me. It's as if something biological happens to you when you see that baby and your brain starts working in a different way. No regrets whatsoever but I can totally see where people are coming from in not wanting kids. At least you don't get subjected to Panic! at the Disco every day in the car. I want to kill that band.

Well I had two sons and their births were magical. I was lucky with my first son Luke who adores The Clash so no Panic! at the Disco for me. But it's not all plain sailing either my second son Ashley is soon to become my daughter and is having hormone therapy for the change. I'm completely supportive of him/her and will always love my kids unconditionally. It's just gonna be a whole new world for my second offspring that's bound to bring about it's own set of problems and concerns. But I'll always be here for them both regardless.

I have a niece/nephew who is trans (I'm still trying to figure out how to word this properly) and my brother hasn't handled it well, probably because of his born-again attitude. It's refreshing to read this. It makes me want to hug you. *sniff* I know from my nephew that that support means more than anyone will ever know.

When Ashley first made the choice to change he held off for about 6 months before telling me. His mum and me have been separated for about 15 years now. Ashley told his mum but wasn't so sure about telling me as he didn't know how I would react. But when he found the courage to tell me he said he couldn't believe just how relaxed I was it about and how instantly he felt better. I told him straight off the bat that I thought it was an extremely brave thing to do and that I was nothing less than proud of the choice he had made. He knows it's not going to be easy and he knows I'm here 100% if required.

Thanks Mimi.

[Silent Majority]

When I told my Mum I was polyamorous, I was amazed by how cool with the situation she was. Sometimes parents do just understand.

[Flex]

When Ashley first made the choice to change he held off for about 6 months before telling me. His mum and me have been separated for about 15 years now. Ashley told his mum but wasn't so sure about telling me as he didn't know how I would react. But when he found the courage to tell me he said he couldn't believe just how relaxed I was it about and how instantly he felt better. I told him straight off the bat that I thought it was an extremely brave thing to do and that I was nothing less than proud of the choice he had made. He knows it's not going to be easy and he knows I'm here 100% if required.

Ashley's really lucky to have you. Things are getting a lot better for folks who transition, but I have at least two friends (that I know of!) who made similar announcements and have been disowned by their families. Horrible.

Again, you're a good egg, Marky.

[Dr. Medulla]

Shouldn't come as a surprise that the primary reason why I didn't want kids was a fear that I'd be as lousy a father as I had, and I didn't want that on my conscience.

I reckon you would make a really fine dad.

Thanks, man. I think I'd be decent-ish now, but the me twenty or even ten years ago, I'm skeptical. I'm content indulging the fuck out of our cats.

[Marky Dread]

When Ashley first made the choice to change he held off for about 6 months before telling me. His mum and me have been separated for about 15 years now. Ashley told his mum but wasn't so sure about telling me as he didn't know how I would react. But when he found the courage to tell me he said he couldn't believe just how relaxed I was it about and how instantly he felt better. I told him straight off the bat that I thought it was an extremely brave thing to do and that I was nothing less than proud of the choice he had made. He knows it's not going to be easy and he knows I'm here 100% if required.

Ashley's really lucky to have you. Things are getting a lot better for folks who transition, but I have at least two friends (that I know of!) who made similar announcements and have been disowned by their families. Horrible.

Again, you're a good egg, Marky.

Cheers Flex.

[Dr. Medulla]

Tangentially related, if anyone's interested in the modern American history of homosexuals coming out to their family, my doctoral supervisor's book on the subject is really good: https://www.amazon.ca/Not-This-Family-M ... way&sr=8-1

In short, the idea of most kids being rejected by their family is largely a myth. Certainly it happened/happens, but by and large American parents have been welcoming and quick to defend their kid.

[Wolter]

I reckon you would make a really fine dad.

Blasting Swans records at kids is a good development tactic, after all.

Me and the missus are in the kid discussion at the moment. Without going into a bunch of details, there are some health issues that are concerning to us. Not, like, heritable stuff but some concern about whether there'd be an impact on our ability to be good caregivers. We know there's "no perfect time to have kids" or perfect situation to bring kids into and what have you, but it's tough stuff to weigh.

Addendum: This is also more just me, but I have some ethical concerns about the kind of world we'd be bringing kids into with climate change looking like what it will be. I'm not sure I'd want to make someone have to live in what I think our future will be.

Not a day goes by when some piece of news makes me wonder why I brought those poor kids into this hellpit

[BitterTom]

The last few pages has been a great read and made me smile. What decent people the forum has.

[101Walterton]

I always loved other people's kids but never wanted one myself, didn't fancy the responsibility or the worry. I did become a Dad eventually (unplanned at the age of 37) but when it happened it was the best thing that ever happened to me. It's as if something biological happens to you when you see that baby and your brain starts working in a different way. No regrets whatsoever but I can totally see where people are coming from in not wanting kids. At least you don't get subjected to Panic! at the Disco every day in the car. I want to kill that band.

Well I had two sons and their births were magical. I was lucky with my first son Luke who adores The Clash so no Panic! at the Disco for me. But it's not all plain sailing either my second son Ashley is soon to become my daughter and is having hormone therapy for the change. I'm completely supportive of him/her and will always love my kids unconditionally. It's just gonna be a whole new world for my second offspring that's bound to bring about it's own set of problems and concerns. But I'll always be here for them both regardless.

I have a niece/nephew who is trans (I'm still trying to figure out how to word this properly) and my brother hasn't handled it well, probably because of his born-again attitude. It's refreshing to read this. It makes me want to hug you. *sniff* I know from my nephew that that support means more than anyone will ever know.

There was a phone in on the radio breakfast show here the other day. It was supposed to be fun light hearted banter but it quickly went south. The topic was ‘why did your parents throw you out of home’ after a news story of someone doing something dumb. It backfired when every caller was from the LGBTQ community and had been thrown out of their home by their Religious parents (mainly Christian).
How Christian is that.

[Marky Dread]

I always loved other people's kids but never wanted one myself, didn't fancy the responsibility or the worry. I did become a Dad eventually (unplanned at the age of 37) but when it happened it was the best thing that ever happened to me. It's as if something biological happens to you when you see that baby and your brain starts working in a different way. No regrets whatsoever but I can totally see where people are coming from in not wanting kids. At least you don't get subjected to Panic! at the Disco every day in the car. I want to kill that band.

Well I had two sons and their births were magical. I was lucky with my first son Luke who adores The Clash so no Panic! at the Disco for me. But it's not all plain sailing either my second son Ashley is soon to become my daughter and is having hormone therapy for the change. I'm completely supportive of him/her and will always love my kids unconditionally. It's just gonna be a whole new world for my second offspring that's bound to bring about it's own set of problems and concerns. But I'll always be here for them both regardless.

I have a niece/nephew who is trans (I'm still trying to figure out how to word this properly) and my brother hasn't handled it well, probably because of his born-again attitude. It's refreshing to read this. It makes me want to hug you. *sniff* I know from my nephew that that support means more than anyone will ever know.

There was a phone in on the radio breakfast show here the other day. It was supposed to be fun light hearted banter but it quickly went south. The topic was ‘why did your parents throw you out of home’ after a news story of someone doing something dumb. It backfired when every caller was from the LGBTQ community and had been thrown out of their home by their Religious parents (mainly Christian).
How Christian is that.

Extremely Christian and yet not very allegedly. Seriously some of the Christians I've met could never live up to the hype. Then there's the pathetic view that some have regards to the Bible being misunderstood with its mesage about homosexuality.

[Marky Dread]

I always loved other people's kids but never wanted one myself, didn't fancy the responsibility or the worry. I did become a Dad eventually (unplanned at the age of 37) but when it happened it was the best thing that ever happened to me. It's as if something biological happens to you when you see that baby and your brain starts working in a different way. No regrets whatsoever but I can totally see where people are coming from in not wanting kids. At least you don't get subjected to Panic! at the Disco every day in the car. I want to kill that band.

Well I had two sons and their births were magical. I was lucky with my first son Luke who adores The Clash so no Panic! at the Disco for me. But it's not all plain sailing either my second son Ashley is soon to become my daughter and is having hormone therapy for the change. I'm completely supportive of him/her and will always love my kids unconditionally. It's just gonna be a whole new world for my second offspring that's bound to bring about it's own set of problems and concerns. But I'll always be here for them both regardless.

I have a niece/nephew who is trans (I'm still trying to figure out how to word this properly) and my brother hasn't handled it well, probably because of his born-again attitude. It's refreshing to read this. It makes me want to hug you. *sniff* I know from my nephew that that support means more than anyone will ever know.

There was a phone in on the radio breakfast show here the other day. It was supposed to be fun light hearted banter but it quickly went south. The topic was ‘why did your parents throw you out of home’ after a news story of someone doing something dumb. It backfired when every caller was from the LGBTQ community and had been thrown out of their home by their Religious parents (mainly Christian).
How Christian is that.

Extremely Christian and yet not very allegedly. Seriously some of the Christians I've met could never live up to the hype. Then there's the pathetic view that some have regards to the Bible being misunderstood with its mesage about homosexuality.

Live for today and live and let live.