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Re: 101’s Room
Posted: 19 Apr 2019, 8:02am
by Marky Dread
101Walterton wrote: ↑19 Apr 2019, 7:19am
Marky Dread wrote: ↑18 Apr 2019, 8:16pm
Heston wrote: ↑18 Apr 2019, 6:44pm
I always loved other people's kids but never wanted one myself, didn't fancy the responsibility or the worry. I did become a Dad eventually (unplanned at the age of 37) but when it happened it was the best thing that ever happened to me. It's as if something biological happens to you when you see that baby and your brain starts working in a different way. No regrets whatsoever but I can totally see where people are coming from in not wanting kids. At least you don't get subjected to Panic! at the Disco every day in the car. I want to kill that band.
Well I had two sons and their births were magical. I was lucky with my first son Luke who adores The Clash so no Panic! at the Disco for me. But it's not all plain sailing either my second son Ashley is soon to become my daughter and is having hormone therapy for the change. I'm completely supportive of him/her and will always love my kids unconditionally. It's just gonna be a whole new world for my second offspring that's bound to bring about it's own set of problems and concerns. But I'll always be here for them both regardless.
Good on you Marky Ashley is going to need all the support she can get and that starts at home. As others have said society, thankfully, is more understanding today.
Cheers mate.
Re: 101’s Room
Posted: 19 Apr 2019, 8:36am
by Flex
I'll echo what others have said, good for Ashley and good on ya, Markey.
Re: 101’s Room
Posted: 19 Apr 2019, 9:01am
by Marky Dread
Flex wrote: ↑19 Apr 2019, 8:36am
I'll echo what others have said, good for Ashley and good on ya, Markey.
Thanks mate.
Re: 101’s Room
Posted: 19 Apr 2019, 9:25am
by JennyB
BostonBeaneater wrote: ↑18 Apr 2019, 4:57pm
matedog wrote: ↑18 Apr 2019, 3:45pm
Having a kid now, I would fault no one for not having kids. It sucks. Like it's fun and great and all, but it sucks.
I'm glad you say that. Half my friends with kids say what you say while the other half describe it like a magical wonderland. Take a guess which one's are better parents? I can see the good parts of it and sometimes do regret not having the experience but for the love of god be honest about it.
It's certainly not a magical wonderland. And it's certainly a hell of a lot easier having only one, like I do. And I loathe people who begrudge anyone for not wanting kids.
Re: 101’s Room
Posted: 19 Apr 2019, 9:28am
by JennyB
Marky Dread wrote: ↑18 Apr 2019, 8:16pm
Heston wrote: ↑18 Apr 2019, 6:44pm
I always loved other people's kids but never wanted one myself, didn't fancy the responsibility or the worry. I did become a Dad eventually (unplanned at the age of 37) but when it happened it was the best thing that ever happened to me. It's as if something biological happens to you when you see that baby and your brain starts working in a different way. No regrets whatsoever but I can totally see where people are coming from in not wanting kids. At least you don't get subjected to Panic! at the Disco every day in the car. I want to kill that band.
Well I had two sons and their births were magical. I was lucky with my first son Luke who adores The Clash so no Panic! at the Disco for me. But it's not all plain sailing either my second son Ashley is soon to become my daughter and is having hormone therapy for the change. I'm completely supportive of him/her and will always love my kids unconditionally. It's just gonna be a whole new world for my second offspring that's bound to bring about it's own set of problems and concerns. But I'll always be here for them both regardless.
This is what amazing parenting looks like. I don't mean to sound trite, but I wish all trans kids had parents like you. You are realistic but you are accepting, and that kind of parenting saves lives.
Re: 101’s Room
Posted: 19 Apr 2019, 9:54am
by Mimi
matedog wrote: ↑18 Apr 2019, 3:45pm
BostonBeaneater wrote: ↑18 Apr 2019, 2:18pm
Wolter wrote: ↑18 Apr 2019, 2:12pm
JennyB wrote: ↑18 Apr 2019, 1:29pm
Kory wrote: ↑18 Apr 2019, 1:26pm
Not to offend anyone here, but parents are often either the most oblivious our entitled people on the planet.
You don't know the half of it.
Oh my god don’t get me started on every parent other than me.
Having embraced a child-free life it really annoys me when people seem to pity my wife and I for not having children. I remind them that I take at least two week long vacations a year, sleep until 10AM most weekend days, and that our place is largely free of plastic things in primary colors.
Having a kid now, I would fault no one for not having kids. It sucks. Like it's fun and great and all, but it sucks.
As a woman who is child-free by choice, I've had my share of shaming from other women for my decision. I've never told anyone the real reason I made this choice, but "being selfish" wasn't one of them, whatever that means anyway. Most women who were rude enough to approach the subject with me told me I would regret it when I'm older. I'm older, and well, so far, so good.
Re: 101’s Room
Posted: 19 Apr 2019, 9:58am
by Mimi
Marky Dread wrote: ↑18 Apr 2019, 8:16pm
Heston wrote: ↑18 Apr 2019, 6:44pm
I always loved other people's kids but never wanted one myself, didn't fancy the responsibility or the worry. I did become a Dad eventually (unplanned at the age of 37) but when it happened it was the best thing that ever happened to me. It's as if something biological happens to you when you see that baby and your brain starts working in a different way. No regrets whatsoever but I can totally see where people are coming from in not wanting kids. At least you don't get subjected to Panic! at the Disco every day in the car. I want to kill that band.
Well I had two sons and their births were magical. I was lucky with my first son Luke who adores The Clash so no Panic! at the Disco for me. But it's not all plain sailing either my second son Ashley is soon to become my daughter and is having hormone therapy for the change. I'm completely supportive of him/her and will always love my kids unconditionally. It's just gonna be a whole new world for my second offspring that's bound to bring about it's own set of problems and concerns. But I'll always be here for them both regardless.
I have a niece/nephew who is trans (I'm still trying to figure out how to word this properly) and my brother hasn't handled it well, probably because of his born-again attitude. It's refreshing to read this. It makes me want to hug you. *sniff* I know from my nephew that that support means more than anyone will ever know.
Re: 101’s Room
Posted: 19 Apr 2019, 10:07am
by Dr. Medulla
Mimi wrote: ↑19 Apr 2019, 9:54am
Most women who were rude enough to approach the subject with me told me I would regret it when I'm older. I'm older, and well, so far, so good.
What better resson for having a kid is fear of future regret?
Re: 101’s Room
Posted: 19 Apr 2019, 10:10am
by Mimi
Dr. Medulla wrote: ↑19 Apr 2019, 10:07am
Mimi wrote: ↑19 Apr 2019, 9:54am
Most women who were rude enough to approach the subject with me told me I would regret it when I'm older. I'm older, and well, so far, so good.
What better resson for having a kid is fear of future regret?
Right?! I wanted to ask them if they only had kids so the kids would take care of them when they got older.
Re: 101’s Room
Posted: 19 Apr 2019, 10:34am
by Dr. Medulla
Mimi wrote: ↑19 Apr 2019, 10:10am
Dr. Medulla wrote: ↑19 Apr 2019, 10:07am
Mimi wrote: ↑19 Apr 2019, 9:54am
Most women who were rude enough to approach the subject with me told me I would regret it when I'm older. I'm older, and well, so far, so good.
What better resson for having a kid is fear of future regret?
Right?! I wanted to ask them if they only had kids so the kids would take care of them when they got older.
My mother told me that my dad only wanted kids so that he'd feel/look more like a man. He really wasn't interested in being a dad once the kids were born. The first four kids were born in about a seven-year span, then my next oldest sister and I were accidents well after the eldest group. My mother told him that he was being given a second chance to actually be a dad, but, nope, he limited himself to being a provider (and he was a good one), but raising kids was left to her.
Re: 101’s Room
Posted: 19 Apr 2019, 10:36am
by Mimi
Dr. Medulla wrote: ↑19 Apr 2019, 10:34am
Mimi wrote: ↑19 Apr 2019, 10:10am
Dr. Medulla wrote: ↑19 Apr 2019, 10:07am
Mimi wrote: ↑19 Apr 2019, 9:54am
Most women who were rude enough to approach the subject with me told me I would regret it when I'm older. I'm older, and well, so far, so good.
What better resson for having a kid is fear of future regret?
Right?! I wanted to ask them if they only had kids so the kids would take care of them when they got older.
My mother told me that my dad only wanted kids so that he'd feel/look more like a man. He really wasn't interested in being a dad once the kids were born. The first four kids were born in about a seven-year span, then my next oldest sister and I were accidents well after the eldest group. My mother told him that he was being given a second chance to actually be a dad, but, nope, he limited himself to being a provider (and he was a good one), but raising kids was left to her.
That generation of men.
Re: 101’s Room
Posted: 19 Apr 2019, 10:47am
by Wolter
Mimi wrote: ↑19 Apr 2019, 10:36am
Dr. Medulla wrote: ↑19 Apr 2019, 10:34am
Mimi wrote: ↑19 Apr 2019, 10:10am
Dr. Medulla wrote: ↑19 Apr 2019, 10:07am
Mimi wrote: ↑19 Apr 2019, 9:54am
Most women who were rude enough to approach the subject with me told me I would regret it when I'm older. I'm older, and well, so far, so good.
What better resson for having a kid is fear of future regret?
Right?! I wanted to ask them if they only had kids so the kids would take care of them when they got older.
My mother told me that my dad only wanted kids so that he'd feel/look more like a man. He really wasn't interested in being a dad once the kids were born. The first four kids were born in about a seven-year span, then my next oldest sister and I were accidents well after the eldest group. My mother told him that he was being given a second chance to actually be a dad, but, nope, he limited himself to being a provider (and he was a good one), but raising kids was left to her.
That generation of men.
Ali’s father actually told her if he had it to do again, he would’ve never had kids and spent more time sailing.
Re: 101’s Room
Posted: 19 Apr 2019, 10:49am
by Dr. Medulla
Mimi wrote: ↑19 Apr 2019, 10:36am
Dr. Medulla wrote: ↑19 Apr 2019, 10:34am
Mimi wrote: ↑19 Apr 2019, 10:10am
Dr. Medulla wrote: ↑19 Apr 2019, 10:07am
Mimi wrote: ↑19 Apr 2019, 9:54am
Most women who were rude enough to approach the subject with me told me I would regret it when I'm older. I'm older, and well, so far, so good.
What better resson for having a kid is fear of future regret?
Right?! I wanted to ask them if they only had kids so the kids would take care of them when they got older.
My mother told me that my dad only wanted kids so that he'd feel/look more like a man. He really wasn't interested in being a dad once the kids were born. The first four kids were born in about a seven-year span, then my next oldest sister and I were accidents well after the eldest group. My mother told him that he was being given a second chance to actually be a dad, but, nope, he limited himself to being a provider (and he was a good one), but raising kids was left to her.
That generation of men.
Yes and no. My parents were that Great Depression / World War II generation, but in the 1950s—when the first batch of kids came along—attitudes toward parenting changed considerably, with fathers expected to take part in household chores and develop closer relationships with their kids. My dad, tho, a good emotionally confined Scandinavian, kept all his kids at an arm's length and definitely did no housework. He always seemed to be one full generation behind his cohort.
Re: 101’s Room
Posted: 19 Apr 2019, 10:50am
by Mimi
Wolter wrote: ↑19 Apr 2019, 10:47am
Mimi wrote: ↑19 Apr 2019, 10:36am
Dr. Medulla wrote: ↑19 Apr 2019, 10:34am
Mimi wrote: ↑19 Apr 2019, 10:10am
Dr. Medulla wrote: ↑19 Apr 2019, 10:07am
What better resson for having a kid is fear of future regret?
Right?! I wanted to ask them if they only had kids so the kids would take care of them when they got older.
My mother told me that my dad only wanted kids so that he'd feel/look more like a man. He really wasn't interested in being a dad once the kids were born. The first four kids were born in about a seven-year span, then my next oldest sister and I were accidents well after the eldest group. My mother told him that he was being given a second chance to actually be a dad, but, nope, he limited himself to being a provider (and he was a good one), but raising kids was left to her.
That generation of men.
Ali’s father actually told her if he had it to do again, he would’ve never had kids and spent more time sailing.
Ouch!
Re: 101’s Room
Posted: 19 Apr 2019, 11:01am
by Dr. Medulla
Shouldn't come as a surprise that the primary reason why I didn't want kids was a fear that I'd be as lousy a father as I had, and I didn't want that on my conscience.