Joke thread

[Heston]

Why did the lifeguard leave the hippy to drown?

















Cos he was too "far out".

Has anyone got any terrible jokes?

[Dr. Medulla]

One of my dad's awful ones (and I'm sure I've told it here): What's the difference between a Canada goose and a Ukrainian goose? A Canada goose goes, "Honk honk," while a Ukrainian goose goes, "Bohonk, bohonk."

[Heston]

One of my dad's awful ones (and I'm sure I've told it here): What's the difference between a Canada goose and a Ukrainian goose? A Canada goose goes, "Honk honk," while a Ukrainian goose goes, "Bohonk, bohonk."

I don't get it. I fear cultural divide.

Boy 1 : Where's your mum from?
Boy 2 : Anchorage
Boy 1 : Where's that?
Boy 2 : I dunno Alaska

[101Walterton]

One of my dad's awful ones (and I'm sure I've told it here): What's the difference between a Canada goose and a Ukrainian goose? A Canada goose goes, "Honk honk," while a Ukrainian goose goes, "Bohonk, bohonk."

I don't get it. I fear cultural divide.

Boy 1 : Where's your mum from?
Boy 2 : Anchorage
Boy 1 : Where's that?
Boy 2 : I dunno Alaska

I dont get it either

Man 1 My wifes gone to the West Indies
Man 2 Jamaica ?
Man 1 No she went of her own accord.

[Heston]

A priest walks into a hotel and mentions during check-in, "I do hope the porn channel is disabled." The receptionist replies, "No. Its just normal porn you sick bastard!"

[101Walterton]

A priest walks into a hotel and mentions during check-in, "I do hope the porn channel is disabled." The receptionist replies, "No. Its just normal porn you sick bastard!"

That was too good for this thread.

Horse walks into a bar and the barman says "why the long face ?".

[Heston]

A priest walks into a hotel and mentions during check-in, "I do hope the porn channel is disabled." The receptionist replies, "No. Its just normal porn you sick bastard!"

That was too good for this thread.

Horse walks into a bar and the barman says "why the long face ?".

A pony walks into a bar and asks the barman for a pint

"you'll have to speak up, I can't hear you" said the barman

"I'm sorry, I'm a little hoarse".

[eumaas]

The head shrink at a psych hospital decided to release one of his patients. So he gathered together the three best prospects. All the patient would have to do is answer a simple question correctly, "What is two plus two?"

He asked the first. The first patient replied, "Five," and so the shrink led him back to his room.

He asked the second. The second patient replied, "Wednesday," and so he was led back to his room too.

Finally, the third. The third patient got it right, answering "Four." So the chief shrink led him out the gate. As the patient was strolling through the gate, the doc decided to ask him, "How did you know that two plus two equals four?"

"Easy," the third patient said, "I just added five plus Wednesday."

[tepista]

A priest walks into a hotel and mentions during check-in, "I do hope the porn channel is disabled." The receptionist replies, "No. Its just normal porn you sick bastard!"

That was too good for this thread.

totally. I can't wait to pass it on

[rcs]

A priest walks into a hotel and mentions during check-in, "I do hope the porn channel is disabled." The receptionist replies, "No. Its just normal porn you sick bastard!"

That was too good for this thread.

totally. I can't wait to pass it on

close the thread up... that's the WINNER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Guest]

A pirate walks into a bar and pulls up a seat. The bartender looks at him confused, "why do you have a steering wheel on your crotch?" he asks.
"YARRR tis driving me nuts!" the pirate replied.

[101Walterton]

A pirate walks into a bar and pulls up a seat. The bartender looks at him confused, "why do you have a steering wheel on your crotch?" he asks.
"YARRR tis driving me nuts!" the pirate replied.

Dont forget your coat..............

[Dr. Medulla]

One of my dad's awful ones (and I'm sure I've told it here): What's the difference between a Canada goose and a Ukrainian goose? A Canada goose goes, "Honk honk," while a Ukrainian goose goes, "Bohonk, bohonk."

I don't get it. I fear cultural divide.

I dont get it either

Limey savages—a Ukrainian is known as a bohunk. There's more to slurs than wogs and niggers, you know.

[tepista]

Where does the hate end?

[Wolter]

Where does the hate end?

Iceland.