Joke thread

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Spiff
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Re: Joke thread

Post by Spiff »

Why was Hellen Keller such a bad driver?

Because she was a woman.
Let fury have the hour, anger can be power
D'you know that you can use it?

-- There's no fairytale ending with cocaine.

Dr. Medulla
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Re: Joke thread

Post by Dr. Medulla »

Spiff wrote:Why was Hellen Keller such a bad driver?

Because she was a woman.
That's no joke.
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dave202
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Re: Joke thread

Post by dave202 »

Women can be really bitchy on different levels, especially about other women and their clothes.

"Did you see that girl in the ill-fitting camouflage clothes walk past?" my girlfriend asked me. "Yes," I replied.
"They're so not working for her," she sniped.

deny
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Re: Joke thread

Post by deny »

The Pope & the Bishop are doing a crossword

The Pope is stuck on one clue and asks the Bishop for assistance - the Pope says 'hhhhhhhmmm a four lettered word for a woman'

They both scratch their heads as to what the answer could be.

Eventually the Bishop shouts ' I think I've got the answer!'

The Pope says 'very well my son what is it?'














The Bishop says 'Aunt'




The Pope say says 'well done Bishop now can you pass me the tipex!' :approve:
Joining the Street Parade

JennyB
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Re: Joke thread

Post by JennyB »

Spiff wrote:Why was Hellen Keller such a bad driver?

Because she was a woman.
Even I, a staunch feminist, laughed at this. :mrgreen:
Got a Rake? Sure!

IMCT: Inane Middle-Class Twats - Dr. M

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Marky Dread
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Re: Joke thread

Post by Marky Dread »

JennyB wrote:
Spiff wrote:Why was Hellen Keller such a bad driver?

Because she was a woman.
Even I, a staunch feminist, laughed at this. :mrgreen:
I'm a staunch feminist also and I'm not amused.

No wait that's not right. I'm a fatalist with a paunch yeah that's it.
Image

Forces have been looting
My humanity
Curfews have been curbing
The end of liberty


We're the flowers in the dustbin...
No fuchsias for you.

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Spiff
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Re: Joke thread

Post by Spiff »

A massive scouser, shaven-headed, muscles on his muscles, tattoos on his tattoos, is sitting in Liverpool's roughest pub having a pint, when in comes a slender, camp, smartly dressed man. The man sits next to the scouser, orders an appletini, and then turns to the scouser and says "Hello sailor. How about meeting me round the back for a blow-job?"

At this, the scouser promptly flies into a furious rage. He picks up the man, runs him head first all along the bar, drops him to the floor and then pummels him relentlessly for five whole minutes, before throwing him out onto the street.

"Jesus, Terry." says the barman. "What did that poor fella say to you?”

"Dunno," the scouser replies. "Something about a job."
Let fury have the hour, anger can be power
D'you know that you can use it?

-- There's no fairytale ending with cocaine.

Marky Dread
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Re: Joke thread

Post by Marky Dread »

Spiff wrote:A massive scouser, shaven-headed, muscles on his muscles, tattoos on his tattoos, is sitting in Liverpool's roughest pub having a pint, when in comes a slender, camp, smartly dressed man. The man sits next to the scouser, orders an appletini, and then turns to the scouser and says "Hello sailor. How about meeting me round the back for a blow-job?"

At this, the scouser promptly flies into a furious rage. He picks up the man, runs him head first all along the bar, drops him to the floor and then pummels him relentlessly for five whole minutes, before throwing him out onto the street.

"Jesus, Terry." says the barman. "What did that poor fella say to you?”

"Dunno," the scouser replies. "Something about a job."
:lol:
Image

Forces have been looting
My humanity
Curfews have been curbing
The end of liberty


We're the flowers in the dustbin...
No fuchsias for you.

"Without the common people you're nothing"

Nos Sumus Una Familia

Heston
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Re: Joke thread

Post by Heston »

knock knock
There's a tiny, tiny hopeful part of me that says you guys are running a Kaufmanesque long con on the board

tepista
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Re: Joke thread

Post by tepista »

Heston wrote:
10 Jan 2020, 5:01pm
knock knock
Who's there?
We reach the parts other combos cannot reach
We beach the beachheads other armies cannot beach
We speak the tongues other mouths cannot speak

Heston
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Re: Joke thread

Post by Heston »

tepista wrote:
10 Jan 2020, 5:05pm
Heston wrote:
10 Jan 2020, 5:01pm
knock knock
Who's there?
biggish
There's a tiny, tiny hopeful part of me that says you guys are running a Kaufmanesque long con on the board

tepista
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Re: Joke thread

Post by tepista »

Heston wrote:
10 Jan 2020, 5:06pm
tepista wrote:
10 Jan 2020, 5:05pm
Heston wrote:
10 Jan 2020, 5:01pm
knock knock
Who's there?
biggish
Biggish who?
We reach the parts other combos cannot reach
We beach the beachheads other armies cannot beach
We speak the tongues other mouths cannot speak

Heston
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Re: Joke thread

Post by Heston »

tepista wrote:
10 Jan 2020, 5:27pm
Heston wrote:
10 Jan 2020, 5:06pm
tepista wrote:
10 Jan 2020, 5:05pm
Heston wrote:
10 Jan 2020, 5:01pm
knock knock
Who's there?
biggish
Biggish who?
No thanks
There's a tiny, tiny hopeful part of me that says you guys are running a Kaufmanesque long con on the board

Heston
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Re: Joke thread

Post by Heston »

You may have to be a Limey to get that.
There's a tiny, tiny hopeful part of me that says you guys are running a Kaufmanesque long con on the board

tepista
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Re: Joke thread

Post by tepista »

Heston wrote:
10 Jan 2020, 5:37pm
You may have to be a Limey to get that.
That's what I was going to suggest
We reach the parts other combos cannot reach
We beach the beachheads other armies cannot beach
We speak the tongues other mouths cannot speak

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