movies

[Kory]

Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark (2019) A group of outcast teenagers find a half-written book of short stories by a witch, The book continues to write additional stories by itself, in which members of the group disappear in real time. I just couldn’t get behind this kiddie-romp, and was even more disappointed to find that it’s from the director of the outstanding Autopsy of Jane Doe. Set in 1968, Donovan’s fantastic “Season of the Witch” played over the opening credits, while Lana Del Ray’s uninspired cover of the same song played over the end credits.

Even more disappointing is that the series of books that it's ostensibly adapted from have some of the most terrifying illustrations ever. I highly doubt they carried over.

The stories themselves were usually pretty hokey, so it's not THAT much of a betrayal of the source material. Harold (which I guess this one adapts, so maybe my counterpoint is bs) was actually pretty legit.

As I recall it was a combo of good stories and then just some regular urban legends to pad out the book, but the drawings made even the lame stories scary because you couldn't help but keep those stringy, inky images in your mind to represent them.

[matedog]

Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark (2019) A group of outcast teenagers find a half-written book of short stories by a witch, The book continues to write additional stories by itself, in which members of the group disappear in real time. I just couldn’t get behind this kiddie-romp, and was even more disappointed to find that it’s from the director of the outstanding Autopsy of Jane Doe. Set in 1968, Donovan’s fantastic “Season of the Witch” played over the opening credits, while Lana Del Ray’s uninspired cover of the same song played over the end credits.

Even more disappointing is that the series of books that it's ostensibly adapted from have some of the most terrifying illustrations ever. I highly doubt they carried over.

The stories themselves were usually pretty hokey, so it's not THAT much of a betrayal of the source material. Harold (which I guess this one adapts, so maybe my counterpoint is bs) was actually pretty legit.

As I recall it was a combo of good stories and then just some regular urban legends to pad out the book, but the drawings made even the lame stories scary because you couldn't help but keep those stringy, inky images in your mind to represent them.

Yeah, I was remembering it being as cheesy as Are You Afraid of the Dark? which isn't right. It has held up a lot better than that show for sure. But yeah, the illustrations were incredible, particularly for a kids book.

[Kory]

Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark (2019) A group of outcast teenagers find a half-written book of short stories by a witch, The book continues to write additional stories by itself, in which members of the group disappear in real time. I just couldn’t get behind this kiddie-romp, and was even more disappointed to find that it’s from the director of the outstanding Autopsy of Jane Doe. Set in 1968, Donovan’s fantastic “Season of the Witch” played over the opening credits, while Lana Del Ray’s uninspired cover of the same song played over the end credits.

Even more disappointing is that the series of books that it's ostensibly adapted from have some of the most terrifying illustrations ever. I highly doubt they carried over.

The stories themselves were usually pretty hokey, so it's not THAT much of a betrayal of the source material. Harold (which I guess this one adapts, so maybe my counterpoint is bs) was actually pretty legit.

As I recall it was a combo of good stories and then just some regular urban legends to pad out the book, but the drawings made even the lame stories scary because you couldn't help but keep those stringy, inky images in your mind to represent them.

Yeah, I was remembering it being as cheesy as Are You Afraid of the Dark? which isn't right. It has held up a lot better than that show for sure. But yeah, the illustrations were incredible, particularly for a kids book.

Which I think might have been the impetus for the new illustrations a few years ago. Too many kids were having nightmares I bet.

[tepista]

Too many kids were having nightmares I bet.

builds character

[Kory]

Too many kids were having nightmares I bet.

builds character

I think so (just look at my character-ridden ass), but today's parents aren't a fan, I think.

[Dr. Medulla]

Watched Overlord this evening—yay for friends of the Boss coming into town and wanting to for dinner with her, leaving me alone—but I wasn't really thrilled with it. It moved too slow, taking way too long to get to the Nazi experiments. Maybe if I went in completely cold I'd feel different, more surprised and sold, but knowing where it was headed, I just wanted them to get to the fucking fireworks factory. I lean to Frankenstein's Army for its visuals and over-the-top execution. It goes full-on batshit in a way that Overlord restrains itself.

[revbob]

Without any overanalyzing I thoroughly enjoyed the new Star Wars movie.

[Dr. Medulla]

Without any overanalyzing I thoroughly enjoyed the new Star Wars movie.

From what I've read of things, it sounds like a fun movie if you switch off your brain and just go with the action. If you think too much about it as part of the larger narrative, it's pretty bad. We're planning on going on Christmas Day.

[Mimi]

Without any overanalyzing I thoroughly enjoyed the new Star Wars movie.

From what I've read of things, it sounds like a fun movie if you switch off your brain and just go with the action. If you think too much about it as part of the larger narrative, it's pretty bad. We're planning on going on Christmas Day.

So are we. I have no expectations. The man is already angry about it. *shrugs*

[Flex]

I'm going tomorrow. I'll be sure to share in depth spoilers here as a Christmas present for everyone.

[Dr. Medulla]

Without any overanalyzing I thoroughly enjoyed the new Star Wars movie.

From what I've read of things, it sounds like a fun movie if you switch off your brain and just go with the action. If you think too much about it as part of the larger narrative, it's pretty bad. We're planning on going on Christmas Day.

So are we. I have no expectations. The man is already angry about it. *shrugs*

Enjoying Star Wars pretty much requires being able to edit the narrative yourself, skipping the stuff that you don't like (e.g., most parts of all the prequels, the Holiday Special) and emphasizing what you do like. Plus, as I've said before, I'll still watch the prequels when they're on tv because it's fucking Star Wars. Even when it's crappy, it's still fun.

[tepista]

I'm going tomorrow. I'll be sure to share in depth spoilers here as a Christmas present for everyone.

Baby Yoda dies!

[Dr. Medulla]

I'm going tomorrow. I'll be sure to share in depth spoilers here as a Christmas present for everyone.

Baby Yoda dies!

After discovering he's actually Jabba the Hutt's cousin Barry.

[Kory]

I'm going tomorrow. I'll be sure to share in depth spoilers here as a Christmas present for everyone.

Baby Yoda dies!

After discovering he's actually Jabba the Hutt's cousin Barry.

Jabba the Hutt and Barry the Lede.

[tepista]

Chillerama (2011) Four short B-Movie parodies by four directors with a wrap-around story about horny zombies taking over a Drive-In theater holding it together. Wadzilla was about a genetically altered sperm destroying New York, I was a Teenage Were-Bear was a musical about teen sexual confusion and Adam (Hatchet) Green's Dairy of Anne Frankenstein (possible the best parody title in history) was about Hitler getting a hold of Frankenstein's notes and creating a monster of his own. It was meant to be ridiculously silly, and I thought each segment was funny. Then part of another film, Deathication, had a lot of poo action and nudity before the wraparound story about a Drive-In theater turning into a zombiefest.

Slaughter of the Vampires (1964) Black & White Italian gothic that borrows heavily from Dracula. A suave vampire visits a newlywed each night and she slowly falls under his spell, dies, and rises, a la Lucy Westerna. Lots of low cut dresses and stakes to the heart. Watchable, but not great, this was released in the US with the ridiculous title Curse of the Blood Ghouls.

P2 (2007) A workaholic stays late on Christmas eve and gets abducted by an obsessed parking attendant, who shoves her into a cleavage-busting dress and forces her to have dinner with him. Alexandre Aja wrote and produced Franck Kalfoun’s directorail debut, and he would go on to do the Maniac remake and Amityville: The Awakening. Holiday sounds provided by Eartha Kitt and Elvis.

Joe Bob’s Red Christmas featuring Black Christmas (1974), Jack Frost (1997) & Silent Night Deadly Night 2 (1987) I’ve probably written a paragraph on BC 74 and SNDN2 a half a dozen times each, and I never intended to give a rewatch to Jack Frost, but what the hay. Joe Bob and Darcy seemed to like Frost quite a bit, and Joe Bob doesn’t feel that BC deserves the legend status that many of us do. Anyway, it’s always fun to watch anything he hosts, and he and Darcy both shared some heartfelt Xmas stories at the end.

All the Creatures were Stirring (2018) Anthology tied around a first date at a community theater on Xmas eve, and the short plays turn into the films that make up the movie. The first story is about a violent office “white elephant” exchange, which was OK enough, then a really good one about a man who locked his keys in his car and comes across some strange people in a van. Then a modern take on the old “Christmas Carol” with I also liked, and a killer reindeer which I thought was the dud of the bunch. The last story was a Twilight Zone-inspired one about space aliens trying to understand the meaning of Christmas, and I thought it was fantastic. I liked this when I saw it last year, and even more the second time. It has bad reviews, ignore them.

Santa Claus (1959) K. Gordon Murray was an American producer who imported Mexican films, most kiddie matinee stuff, but some horror too. This hardly-watchabe kiddie romp was from the same director as Night of the Bloody Apes and bunch of wrestlers vs vampire movies. Santa lives in heaven with child-helpers from all over the globe, and thwarts the devil at every turn as he tries to make children misbehave. Santa’s “war room” has a giant eyeball that see’s everything on Earth, and an ear which relays sound to a computer with a big set of red lips that looks like a blowjob machine. This was a real chore to watch, and I admit I zoned out for a good deal of it, but for some reason I really wanted this on the movies-I’ve-seen list.

Deadly Games aka Dial Code Santa Claus (1989) A rich kid and his grandpa protect their toy-filled mansion with booby-traps from a home invader dressed as Santa Claus. This hard-to-find-until-recently French obscurity is infamously compared to Home Alone, and mixes light action-comedy with some pretty dark violence and an antagonist with some seriously bad intentions. Bonnie Tyler nearly avoided a total eclipse of her career when she recorded the original song “Merry Christmas” for the soundtrack.

Sint aka Saint (2010) In the Netherlands, Christmas is on December 5th and when it falls on a full moon, Saint Nicholas and his army of “Black Peters” (Santa’s companion in Dutch folklore) dock their boat and go on a murderous rampage. Dick Maas (Amsterdamned) directs this fun, gory and action-packed romp that deserves to be mentioned on the annual Xmas watchlists.

Await Further Instructions (2018) A bickering family on Christmas becomes trapped in their home and forced to obey the odd requests coming from the television that they believe are from the government during a quarantine. Battles over who’s in charge turn violent. Two of the actors were in the fun werewolf-on-a-train pic, Howl from 2015. I enjoyed this British movie.

The Haunting (1999) Big-Budget remake of the 1963 classic from the director of Speed and Speed 2, and starring Lily Taylor, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Owen Wilson and Liam Neeson, and with way, way too may special fx to take seriously. Really bad stuff here.

Knives Out (2019) Fun and funny whodunit with a talented cast (besides Daniel Criag but I’ll let it go)and a great Stones song on the soundtrack