movies

Sweet action for kids 'n' cretins. Marjoram and capers.
tepista
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Re: movies

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here ya go Hooks, I'll do the paragraphs tomorrow.

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Re: movies

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Born For Hell (1976) An American Vietnam vet is stuck in Belfast, where terrorist acts are common on public streets. He ends up breaking in to a nursing school dorm, where he ties up 8 pretty students and offs them one at a time. Brutal film, obviously inspired by the Richard Speck murders. There’s nudity, blood, and completely humorless. Pretty good movie, with an overall disturbing tone. (Midnight Pulp)

White of the Eye (1987) Cathy Moriarty comes to the realization that her shit-kicker husband might be responsible for all these recent housewife murders in Tuscon. Decent 90s style thriller (even though it was still the 80s) but the southwest guitar solo score annoyed me to no end. It did have “You Sexy Thing” by Hot Chocolate featured though, that’s always a fun one. (SHUDDER)

The Black Cat (1981) Patrick Magee (A Clockwork Orange) is a psychic who's pet cat commits a series of murders Tourist photographer-turned-police photographer Mimsey Farmer (Four Flies on Grey Velvet, Autopsy) begins to suspect. Some gore, some nudity, and all the incoherent plot you'd expect from Lucio Fulci. Also with Dagmar Lassander, and a bunch of great psychotic facial expressions from Magee. (Midnight Pulp)

The Howl of the Devil (1981) Paul Naschy plays a failed actor who plays violent sex games with prostitutes in mansion of his deceased twin brother, a successful horror actor. He’s mean to his nephew, who escapes reality by daydreaming about Frankenstein, Mr. Hyde, The Wolfman, and more, all portrayed by Naschy. Did I mention that the butler is trying to revive the dead brother through Satanism and all the hookers get slashed once they’re sent walking home through the woods? Well,that happens. The always gorgeous Caroline Munro takes a break from playing a beautiful actress/model to play a beautiful peasant maid whom the entire town holds a grudge against, apparently because she won’t sleep with any of them. Fun movie, manages to whimsical and sleazy at the same time. Spanish with subs. (DVD)

Matinee (1993) John Goodman plays a William Castle-type horror movie director who who promotes his new movie in a Florida military town during the Cuban Missle Crisis. Some of the best scenes in are from the black & white movie-in-a-movie, “Mant”. Also with Cathy Moriarty, and appearances by several of Joe Dante’s regular actors. PG fun for the whole family. (TCM/cable)

The VelociPastor (2018) Like a werewolf movie but with a dinosaur. And a priest. And a hooker, and a pimp, and some ninjas, and a Vietnam flashback with Black Sabbath lyric-graffiti. I avoided this because I thought it was like those bad SyFy/Asylum one-joke mashups of the 00s (Sharktopus, Crocosaurus, etc), but this had a little more heart and no CGI. I’m not saying it was good, just that they tried harder with less money! (TUBI)

Joe Bob’s Vicious Vegas Valentine

Phantom of the Mall: Eric’s Revenge (1989) Assumed dead, a karate-kickin’ burn victim lives in the AC ducts and protects his grieving girlfriend (Playboy Playmate of the Month Feb 88, Kari Whitman) from the constant violent assaults and rape attempts that occur on a daily basis at the mall. He also seems to be killing innocent people as well. High speed fatal auto crash involving mall cops, a man bitten in the dick by a Cobra, Mayor Morgan Fairchild, Pauly Shore’s ass, assorted gore and some nudity (quite obviously an uncredited Brinke Stevens in a dressing room), this one is quite watchable. Pauly Shore’s role is limited enough that he doesn’t ruin it. Also with Ken Foree.

Nekromantik (1987) Rob and Betty are your typical young German couple. They keep a glass jar full of eyeballs on their mantle, enjoy taking blood baths, and when Rob is able to bring a putrid corpse home from a day of street sweeping, they fit it with broomhandle dick and have a threesome with it. But poor Rob sinks in to a depression when he loses his job and Betty hits the road with the body. I’ll say it does have a “happy ending” though. Not much more than a 71 minute excuse to be as vile as possible. In German with subs.

Joe Bob and Darcy host from Vegas, and performed a wedding ceremony on a nice young couple from Minnesota. That’s my review of Phantom from a few months ago, didn’t expect to rewatch so soon, as it couldn’t hold my attention the second time around. Nekromantic was a fun, sleazy choice though. (SHUDDER)
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Re: movies

Post by Kory »

I am a huge Jeremy Irons fan, but by god, watching him in intimacy scenes is beyond painful.
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Re: movies

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tepista wrote:
17 Feb 2023, 12:16pm
The VelociPastor (2018) Like a werewolf movie but with a dinosaur. And a priest. And a hooker, and a pimp, and some ninjas, and a Vietnam flashback with Black Sabbath lyric-graffiti. I avoided this because I thought it was like those bad SyFy/Asylum one-joke mashups of the 00s (Sharktopus, Crocosaurus, etc), but this had a little more heart and no CGI. I’m not saying it was good, just that they tried harder with less money! (TUBI)
So it sounds like I should wait for the Criterion edition before I buy this.
"I never doubted myself for a minute for I knew that my monkey-strong bowels were girded with strength, like the loins of a dragon ribboned with fat and the opulence of buffalo dung." - Richard Nixon, Checkers Speech, abandoned early draft

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Re: movies

Post by Silent Majority »

Dr. Medulla wrote:
20 Feb 2023, 7:17am
tepista wrote:
17 Feb 2023, 12:16pm
The VelociPastor (2018) Like a werewolf movie but with a dinosaur. And a priest. And a hooker, and a pimp, and some ninjas, and a Vietnam flashback with Black Sabbath lyric-graffiti. I avoided this because I thought it was like those bad SyFy/Asylum one-joke mashups of the 00s (Sharktopus, Crocosaurus, etc), but this had a little more heart and no CGI. I’m not saying it was good, just that they tried harder with less money! (TUBI)
So it sounds like I should wait for the Criterion edition before I buy this.
Where's your Jeremy's Iron response, mate?
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Re: movies

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Silent Majority wrote:
20 Feb 2023, 8:09am
Dr. Medulla wrote:
20 Feb 2023, 7:17am
tepista wrote:
17 Feb 2023, 12:16pm
The VelociPastor (2018) Like a werewolf movie but with a dinosaur. And a priest. And a hooker, and a pimp, and some ninjas, and a Vietnam flashback with Black Sabbath lyric-graffiti. I avoided this because I thought it was like those bad SyFy/Asylum one-joke mashups of the 00s (Sharktopus, Crocosaurus, etc), but this had a little more heart and no CGI. I’m not saying it was good, just that they tried harder with less money! (TUBI)
So it sounds like I should wait for the Criterion edition before I buy this.
Where's your Jeremy's Iron response, mate?
I was pretending to be unpredictable. :disshame:
"I never doubted myself for a minute for I knew that my monkey-strong bowels were girded with strength, like the loins of a dragon ribboned with fat and the opulence of buffalo dung." - Richard Nixon, Checkers Speech, abandoned early draft

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Re: movies

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tepista wrote:
03 Feb 2023, 3:53pm


Infinity Pool (2023) If you’re on vacation in a resort in a impoverished country, don’t leave the hotel. Brandon Cronenberg hits his 2nd home run in a row, and Mia Goth cements her legend. Fantastic movie. (Theater)
So I did finally see this. All the characters are horrible but I still enjoyed it. Imagine White Lotus with way more gore and much less humor and some truly despicable characters.

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Piggy (2022) Teenage Sara is constantly bullied for her weight. She witnesses her main offenders abduction by a stranger and chooses to keep her mouth shut. See where it goes from there. I thought this was very good. In Spanish w/ subs. (HULU)

Bones and All (2022) 18 year old Maren is on her own for the first time in her life, and dealing with her compulsion to consume human flesh. During her cross country travels she encounters a few people that are the same, some with good intentions, some without. I liked this, but I felt like they didn’t push the envelope far enough, and they left some opportunities on the table. From Luca Guadagnino, the director of the Suspiria remake. (Amazon Prime)

Cuadecuc, Vampir (1971) During the filming of Jess Franco’s Count Dracula in 1970, Pere Portabella shot “making of” footage in black and white, and edited it into a silent film of his own, part Dracula, part behind the scenes. Interesting stuff, and of course featuring the beautiful Soledad Miranda, and well as the rest of the cast, including Christopher Lee reading a passage from Dracula, in the only scene with sound. (Midnight Pulp)

The Snow Devils (1967) the final entry in Antonio Margheriti's “Gamma One” quadrilogy about a space station, this one features a race of Space-Yetis planning to colonize the Earth by melting the ice caps and then freezing over the planet after the flood. Timeless plot, I guess. Despite the snow, they managed to squeeze more than one scene with bikini girls. Dubbed in to English from Italian. (TCM/cable)

Viking Wolf aka Vikingulven (2022) A teenage girl gets the werewolf curse after being bitten, and her sheriff mom is out looking for the wild animal terrorizing the countryside. I’m sorry to say I was distracted for much of this and it took me three sittings to get through it. The teenage girl had an Adam Ant poster in her bedroom, and this took place in modern times. I guess the director is a fan! So am I. (Netflix)

The Invitation (2022) A young woman in New York does a DNA test, finds she’s related to some British millionaires, travels to meet them only to find she’s the center of some vampire conspiracy. Tame and predictable. Several references to Dracula via character names and locations. (Netflix)

Demons 6: De Profundis aka Edgar Allan Poe's The Black Cat (1989) Hardly a Demoni sequel. it was more of a unlicensed sequel to Suspiria/Three Mothers if anything. In fact, I read that Daria Nicolodi started this project with director Luigi Cozzi and later withdrew. Anyway, a director, his wife and some others are working on a film version of Poe's Black Cat, but that's hardly integral to the story. Their next project is to be based on the same work that inspired Dario Argento's Suspiria, a poem called Suspiria de Profundis from 1845, but the evil boil-faced witch Levana isn't too keen on the choice of actress to play her, and lets her know through some terrifyingly violent dreams. Caroline Munro played the lead actresses' friend who also wants the role. In fact, she'd not be in another film for 5 years. No nudity, some gore and gross-out stuff. (DVD)

Carnival of Sinners aka La main du diable (1943) In Paris, a down-on-his-luck painter buys a talisman from a one handed chef for a penny, and soon after he’s a success in work, love, and anything else he tries. The talisman itself is a moving human hand in a box! Soon enough, the devil himself is after him to collect what he owes, which is his soul, and the only way out is to sell the talisman to someone else at a loss. Problem is, with a one penny purchase price, our poor hero finds himself at the end of the line! The devil makes a new agreement in which he can sell it back at a later date, but he would lose all his talent, and the re-sell price doubles each day, which quickly puts him in a monetary bind. His adventures lead him to Monte Carlo, where he ends up at a dream-like masquerade in which the ghosts of every previous owner spanning hundreds of years gets to tell their own tragic tale in the standout scene on the film. One of the last films of legendary French directors Maurice Tourneur, whose 100 film resume began in the silent era. His son Jacques directed all-time classic horror films Cat People and Night of the Demon. In French with English subtitles. Recommended. (TCM/cable)
We reach the parts other combos cannot reach
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Re: movies

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Inspired to watch Throw Momma From the Train because this scene popped in my head:
"I never doubted myself for a minute for I knew that my monkey-strong bowels were girded with strength, like the loins of a dragon ribboned with fat and the opulence of buffalo dung." - Richard Nixon, Checkers Speech, abandoned early draft

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Caught the last 15 minutes of Con Air on some movie channel. It may yet be the epitome of dumb-ass 90s action flicks. I hope everyone involved bought a nice house or whatever. Also, it's a quarter-century old, which seems … wow.
"I never doubted myself for a minute for I knew that my monkey-strong bowels were girded with strength, like the loins of a dragon ribboned with fat and the opulence of buffalo dung." - Richard Nixon, Checkers Speech, abandoned early draft

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Re: movies

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Dr. Medulla wrote:
02 Mar 2023, 8:47pm
Caught the last 15 minutes of Con Air on some movie channel. It may yet be the epitome of dumb-ass 90s action flicks. I hope everyone involved bought a nice house or whatever. Also, it's a quarter-century old, which seems … wow.
They might be comic book archetypes, but at least the characters are enjoyably distinctive. I don't see a lot of that in modern action films.
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Re: movies

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Silent Majority wrote:
03 Mar 2023, 3:38am
Dr. Medulla wrote:
02 Mar 2023, 8:47pm
Caught the last 15 minutes of Con Air on some movie channel. It may yet be the epitome of dumb-ass 90s action flicks. I hope everyone involved bought a nice house or whatever. Also, it's a quarter-century old, which seems … wow.
They might be comic book archetypes, but at least the characters are enjoyably distinctive. I don't see a lot of that in modern action films.
That's fair. I've become especially soured on the big spectacle action style—explosions, bigger and bigger guns, elaborate martial arts moves—because it seems so rote.
"I never doubted myself for a minute for I knew that my monkey-strong bowels were girded with strength, like the loins of a dragon ribboned with fat and the opulence of buffalo dung." - Richard Nixon, Checkers Speech, abandoned early draft

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Cool Hand Luke is on one of the movie channels right now. I don't think I wanna know someone who doesn't regard this as a perfect film.

(Also, our boy Luke is named after this film. When he showed up, he impressed me with how cool and unbothered he was to being in a house with two older, unpleasant cats. And then he engaged in a prison break, jumping out a second story window. Took away his nuts and his desire to roam disappeared.)
"I never doubted myself for a minute for I knew that my monkey-strong bowels were girded with strength, like the loins of a dragon ribboned with fat and the opulence of buffalo dung." - Richard Nixon, Checkers Speech, abandoned early draft

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Re: movies

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Dr. Medulla wrote:
07 Mar 2023, 8:31pm
(Also, our boy Luke is named after this film. When he showed up, he impressed me with how cool and unbothered he was to being in a house with two older, unpleasant cats. And then he engaged in a prison break, jumping out a second story window. Took away his nuts and his desire to roam disappeared.)
I remember this entire saga as it was happening! It was quite the event.
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Re: movies

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Flex wrote:
07 Mar 2023, 9:17pm
Dr. Medulla wrote:
07 Mar 2023, 8:31pm
(Also, our boy Luke is named after this film. When he showed up, he impressed me with how cool and unbothered he was to being in a house with two older, unpleasant cats. And then he engaged in a prison break, jumping out a second story window. Took away his nuts and his desire to roam disappeared.)
I remember this entire saga as it was happening! It was quite the event.
To blessed with a genuine origin story. :approve:
"I never doubted myself for a minute for I knew that my monkey-strong bowels were girded with strength, like the loins of a dragon ribboned with fat and the opulence of buffalo dung." - Richard Nixon, Checkers Speech, abandoned early draft

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