Open up "what's wrong with you?"

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WestwayKid
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Re: Open up "what's wrong with you?"

Post by WestwayKid »

JennyB wrote:
30 Nov 2022, 1:00pm
WestwayKid wrote:
30 Nov 2022, 12:45pm
I just felt like venting, so this thread is getting a bump.

I truly struggle with the changing seasons. It's starting to get cold in Wisconsin. We had a nice respite yesterday - with temps in the 50s, but down into the 20s today. Gloomy.

I find that small things set me back mood-wise.

For instance, I took my car in yesterday. Something with the cooling system. I was expecting a hefty bill, but they claimed it was just a clogged heater core. I drove it again this morning and a slightly different, but obviously related problem, popped up. I need to take it back in tomorrow. It's a 1st world problem. I own a car. It gets me places like work. I have the money to fix it (though I hate the thought of spending money on my car, especially when I need to get my daughter in for braces). It's a small issue in the grand scheme of things, but it put my mood in reverse and now I feel stuck and I'm sure the crummy weather and the prospect of months of cold and snow and darkness aren't helping anything. I feel like if it was summer I'd just feel more positive. It's harder to have a bad day when it's 80 and sunny and the birds are singing.
I'm sorry, WWK. It's so interesting, because I have the exact opposite reaction to weather. I find comfort in gloomy days. I don't mind sunny and mild days, but I hate anything sunny and over 75 or under 40.

I hope your car bill isn't too high. It sucks that we live in areas with shitty public transport.
I'd love to live somewhere with good public transportation!!
"They don't think it be like it is, but it do." - Oscar Gamble

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Re: Open up "what's wrong with you?"

Post by Sparky »

WestwayKid wrote:
30 Nov 2022, 12:45pm
I just felt like venting, so this thread is getting a bump.

I truly struggle with the changing seasons. It's starting to get cold in Wisconsin. We had a nice respite yesterday - with temps in the 50s, but down into the 20s today. Gloomy.

I find that small things set me back mood-wise.

For instance, I took my car in yesterday. Something with the cooling system. I was expecting a hefty bill, but they claimed it was just a clogged heater core. I drove it again this morning and a slightly different, but obviously related problem, popped up. I need to take it back in tomorrow. It's a 1st world problem. I own a car. It gets me places like work. I have the money to fix it (though I hate the thought of spending money on my car, especially when I need to get my daughter in for braces). It's a small issue in the grand scheme of things, but it put my mood in reverse and now I feel stuck and I'm sure the crummy weather and the prospect of months of cold and snow and darkness aren't helping anything. I feel like if it was summer I'd just feel more positive. It's harder to have a bad day when it's 80 and sunny and the birds are singing.
Sorry to hear about your "full plate" so to speak. I'm glad you're able to put it in writing in order to share and get it out there, the stuff we leave bottled up inside of us will surely eat us up internally. Sharing the thoughts in my head with my most trusted friends or even just making a gratitude list seems to help me put things in perspective, I too have 1st world problems and I'm forever grateful for that in itself.

I'm not a big fan of winter, but the winters here are mild compared to your weather. Car repairs, that's another trigger for me. I'm somewhat mechanically inclined, bit of a wrench, but I'd starve as a professional mechanic. I hate taking our cars to the shop, especially if I think it's something I know how to fix myself, then wondering if we got screwed by the shop. My father in laws truck has been at the dealership for 3 weeks and counting, I know it's driving him nuts.

Hang in there, keep trudging, this too shall pass.
God, what a mess, on the ladder of success
Where you take one step and miss the whole first rung

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Re: Open up "what's wrong with you?"

Post by coffeepotman »

Seasonal Affective Disorder is real, I know it first hand. Growing up in Florida we didn't really have seasons but I've been living in NY for over 35 years now and I've never gotten used to the change of seasons. It's particularly gloomy today and that might not change much except get colder for the next 4 months.

As for a car, I haven't owned one in 35 years and I don't miss that hassle at all.

Hang in there, plan a vacation to somewhere warm and sunny,

WestwayKid
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Re: Open up "what's wrong with you?"

Post by WestwayKid »

Sparky wrote:
30 Nov 2022, 3:05pm
WestwayKid wrote:
30 Nov 2022, 12:45pm
I just felt like venting, so this thread is getting a bump.

I truly struggle with the changing seasons. It's starting to get cold in Wisconsin. We had a nice respite yesterday - with temps in the 50s, but down into the 20s today. Gloomy.

I find that small things set me back mood-wise.

For instance, I took my car in yesterday. Something with the cooling system. I was expecting a hefty bill, but they claimed it was just a clogged heater core. I drove it again this morning and a slightly different, but obviously related problem, popped up. I need to take it back in tomorrow. It's a 1st world problem. I own a car. It gets me places like work. I have the money to fix it (though I hate the thought of spending money on my car, especially when I need to get my daughter in for braces). It's a small issue in the grand scheme of things, but it put my mood in reverse and now I feel stuck and I'm sure the crummy weather and the prospect of months of cold and snow and darkness aren't helping anything. I feel like if it was summer I'd just feel more positive. It's harder to have a bad day when it's 80 and sunny and the birds are singing.
Sorry to hear about your "full plate" so to speak. I'm glad you're able to put it in writing in order to share and get it out there, the stuff we leave bottled up inside of us will surely eat us up internally. Sharing the thoughts in my head with my most trusted friends or even just making a gratitude list seems to help me put things in perspective, I too have 1st world problems and I'm forever grateful for that in itself.

I'm not a big fan of winter, but the winters here are mild compared to your weather. Car repairs, that's another trigger for me. I'm somewhat mechanically inclined, bit of a wrench, but I'd starve as a professional mechanic. I hate taking our cars to the shop, especially if I think it's something I know how to fix myself, then wondering if we got screwed by the shop. My father in laws truck has been at the dealership for 3 weeks and counting, I know it's driving him nuts.

Hang in there, keep trudging, this too shall pass.
I'm the same way with cars. I'm also somewhat mechanically inclined and generally enjoy trying to fix things myself. I hate taking it in, that said, I do like the garage I use. They've proven to be trustworthy.
"They don't think it be like it is, but it do." - Oscar Gamble

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Re: Open up "what's wrong with you?"

Post by Marky Dread »

WestwayKid wrote:
30 Nov 2022, 1:11pm
JennyB wrote:
30 Nov 2022, 1:00pm
WestwayKid wrote:
30 Nov 2022, 12:45pm
I just felt like venting, so this thread is getting a bump.

I truly struggle with the changing seasons. It's starting to get cold in Wisconsin. We had a nice respite yesterday - with temps in the 50s, but down into the 20s today. Gloomy.

I find that small things set me back mood-wise.

For instance, I took my car in yesterday. Something with the cooling system. I was expecting a hefty bill, but they claimed it was just a clogged heater core. I drove it again this morning and a slightly different, but obviously related problem, popped up. I need to take it back in tomorrow. It's a 1st world problem. I own a car. It gets me places like work. I have the money to fix it (though I hate the thought of spending money on my car, especially when I need to get my daughter in for braces). It's a small issue in the grand scheme of things, but it put my mood in reverse and now I feel stuck and I'm sure the crummy weather and the prospect of months of cold and snow and darkness aren't helping anything. I feel like if it was summer I'd just feel more positive. It's harder to have a bad day when it's 80 and sunny and the birds are singing.
I'm sorry, WWK. It's so interesting, because I have the exact opposite reaction to weather. I find comfort in gloomy days. I don't mind sunny and mild days, but I hate anything sunny and over 75 or under 40.

I hope your car bill isn't too high. It sucks that we live in areas with shitty public transport.
I'd love to live somewhere with good public transportation!!
Take your pick.
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Curfews have been curbing
The end of liberty


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No fuchsias for you.

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Re: Open up "what's wrong with you?"

Post by Sparky »

Marky Dread wrote:
30 Nov 2022, 4:31pm
WestwayKid wrote:
30 Nov 2022, 1:11pm
JennyB wrote:
30 Nov 2022, 1:00pm
WestwayKid wrote:
30 Nov 2022, 12:45pm
I just felt like venting, so this thread is getting a bump.

I truly struggle with the changing seasons. It's starting to get cold in Wisconsin. We had a nice respite yesterday - with temps in the 50s, but down into the 20s today. Gloomy.

I find that small things set me back mood-wise.

For instance, I took my car in yesterday. Something with the cooling system. I was expecting a hefty bill, but they claimed it was just a clogged heater core. I drove it again this morning and a slightly different, but obviously related problem, popped up. I need to take it back in tomorrow. It's a 1st world problem. I own a car. It gets me places like work. I have the money to fix it (though I hate the thought of spending money on my car, especially when I need to get my daughter in for braces). It's a small issue in the grand scheme of things, but it put my mood in reverse and now I feel stuck and I'm sure the crummy weather and the prospect of months of cold and snow and darkness aren't helping anything. I feel like if it was summer I'd just feel more positive. It's harder to have a bad day when it's 80 and sunny and the birds are singing.
I'm sorry, WWK. It's so interesting, because I have the exact opposite reaction to weather. I find comfort in gloomy days. I don't mind sunny and mild days, but I hate anything sunny and over 75 or under 40.

I hope your car bill isn't too high. It sucks that we live in areas with shitty public transport.
I'd love to live somewhere with good public transportation!!
Take your pick.
Are they available in blue? :mrgreen:
God, what a mess, on the ladder of success
Where you take one step and miss the whole first rung

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Re: Open up "what's wrong with you?"

Post by Marky Dread »

Sparky wrote:
30 Nov 2022, 4:51pm
Marky Dread wrote:
30 Nov 2022, 4:31pm
WestwayKid wrote:
30 Nov 2022, 1:11pm
JennyB wrote:
30 Nov 2022, 1:00pm
WestwayKid wrote:
30 Nov 2022, 12:45pm
I just felt like venting, so this thread is getting a bump.

I truly struggle with the changing seasons. It's starting to get cold in Wisconsin. We had a nice respite yesterday - with temps in the 50s, but down into the 20s today. Gloomy.

I find that small things set me back mood-wise.

For instance, I took my car in yesterday. Something with the cooling system. I was expecting a hefty bill, but they claimed it was just a clogged heater core. I drove it again this morning and a slightly different, but obviously related problem, popped up. I need to take it back in tomorrow. It's a 1st world problem. I own a car. It gets me places like work. I have the money to fix it (though I hate the thought of spending money on my car, especially when I need to get my daughter in for braces). It's a small issue in the grand scheme of things, but it put my mood in reverse and now I feel stuck and I'm sure the crummy weather and the prospect of months of cold and snow and darkness aren't helping anything. I feel like if it was summer I'd just feel more positive. It's harder to have a bad day when it's 80 and sunny and the birds are singing.
I'm sorry, WWK. It's so interesting, because I have the exact opposite reaction to weather. I find comfort in gloomy days. I don't mind sunny and mild days, but I hate anything sunny and over 75 or under 40.

I hope your car bill isn't too high. It sucks that we live in areas with shitty public transport.
I'd love to live somewhere with good public transportation!!
Take your pick.
Are they available in blue? :mrgreen:
That's too picky. 🤣
Image

Forces have been looting
My humanity
Curfews have been curbing
The end of liberty


We're the flowers in the dustbin...
No fuchsias for you.

"Without the common people you're nothing"

Nos Sumus Una Familia

WestwayKid
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Re: Open up "what's wrong with you?"

Post by WestwayKid »

I think I have ADHD. My mom was diagnosed as an adult and has said on more than one occasion that she thinks I have it, too. I always kind of brushed it off, but my partner just read an article about a couple where one of the partners has ADHD and it sounded like us. I started reading up on it and I checked a lot of boxes: lack of attention to detail, inability to focus/prioritize, losing/misplacing things, forgetfulness, restlessness, easily distracted, and on and on. I have an appointing with my doc for a physical and I'm going to ask about next steps to get screened for it. It's interesting to maybe have an explanation for why I've struggled in certain areas of my life for a very long time.
"They don't think it be like it is, but it do." - Oscar Gamble

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Re: Open up "what's wrong with you?"

Post by Dr. Medulla »

WestwayKid wrote:
11 May 2023, 9:58am
I think I have ADHD. My mom was diagnosed as an adult and has said on more than one occasion that she thinks I have it, too. I always kind of brushed it off, but my partner just read an article about a couple where one of the partners has ADHD and it sounded like us. I started reading up on it and I checked a lot of boxes: lack of attention to detail, inability to focus/prioritize, losing/misplacing things, forgetfulness, restlessness, easily distracted, and on and on. I have an appointing with my doc for a physical and I'm going to ask about next steps to get screened for it. It's interesting to maybe have an explanation for why I've struggled in certain areas of my life for a very long time.
Interesting. It's funny how we're slow to realize that there might be a legit medical issue behind our behaviours. Hopefully, if the diagnosis is positive, the treatment isn't too disruptive.
"I never doubted myself for a minute for I knew that my monkey-strong bowels were girded with strength, like the loins of a dragon ribboned with fat and the opulence of buffalo dung." - Richard Nixon, Checkers Speech, abandoned early draft

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Re: Open up "what's wrong with you?"

Post by Mimi »

WestwayKid wrote:
11 May 2023, 9:58am
I think I have ADHD. My mom was diagnosed as an adult and has said on more than one occasion that she thinks I have it, too. I always kind of brushed it off, but my partner just read an article about a couple where one of the partners has ADHD and it sounded like us. I started reading up on it and I checked a lot of boxes: lack of attention to detail, inability to focus/prioritize, losing/misplacing things, forgetfulness, restlessness, easily distracted, and on and on. I have an appointing with my doc for a physical and I'm going to ask about next steps to get screened for it. It's interesting to maybe have an explanation for why I've struggled in certain areas of my life for a very long time.
Hopefully you'll find some answers. Sometimes that's a relief in and of itself.

WestwayKid
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Re: Open up "what's wrong with you?"

Post by WestwayKid »

Dr. Medulla wrote:
11 May 2023, 10:03am
WestwayKid wrote:
11 May 2023, 9:58am
I think I have ADHD. My mom was diagnosed as an adult and has said on more than one occasion that she thinks I have it, too. I always kind of brushed it off, but my partner just read an article about a couple where one of the partners has ADHD and it sounded like us. I started reading up on it and I checked a lot of boxes: lack of attention to detail, inability to focus/prioritize, losing/misplacing things, forgetfulness, restlessness, easily distracted, and on and on. I have an appointing with my doc for a physical and I'm going to ask about next steps to get screened for it. It's interesting to maybe have an explanation for why I've struggled in certain areas of my life for a very long time.
Interesting. It's funny how we're slow to realize that there might be a legit medical issue behind our behaviours. Hopefully, if the diagnosis is positive, the treatment isn't too disruptive.
I think we learn coping mechanisms that don't "fix" underlying issues, but allow us to navigate life.
"They don't think it be like it is, but it do." - Oscar Gamble

Dr. Medulla
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Re: Open up "what's wrong with you?"

Post by Dr. Medulla »

WestwayKid wrote:
11 May 2023, 10:23am
Dr. Medulla wrote:
11 May 2023, 10:03am
WestwayKid wrote:
11 May 2023, 9:58am
I think I have ADHD. My mom was diagnosed as an adult and has said on more than one occasion that she thinks I have it, too. I always kind of brushed it off, but my partner just read an article about a couple where one of the partners has ADHD and it sounded like us. I started reading up on it and I checked a lot of boxes: lack of attention to detail, inability to focus/prioritize, losing/misplacing things, forgetfulness, restlessness, easily distracted, and on and on. I have an appointing with my doc for a physical and I'm going to ask about next steps to get screened for it. It's interesting to maybe have an explanation for why I've struggled in certain areas of my life for a very long time.
Interesting. It's funny how we're slow to realize that there might be a legit medical issue behind our behaviours. Hopefully, if the diagnosis is positive, the treatment isn't too disruptive.
I think we learn coping mechanisms that don't "fix" underlying issues, but allow us to navigate life.
Is that the same as my coping mechanism, which is to no longer care about my "foibles"? I call it The Shrug.
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Re: Open up "what's wrong with you?"

Post by Kory »

I've been feeling kind of lost lately. A leak in my ceiling developed last night which woke me up when a drop of water fell on my head. I shot up in bed with the kind of speed you usually reserve for a large spider crawling up your leg, and panicked all night, thanks to some trauma I have about the last time we had a leak in this same ceiling (I won't get into it, but the source was something that would make you shake your head in disbelief and the resolution was months in the making, during which we had to sleep in the living room). The whole situation made me feel very helpless because my landlord can't mentally handle a lot, and I usually don't tell him about things that are wrong with the house if I can fix them myself because i'm concerned he'll just sell the property rather than sinking his money into a house he doesn't live in. The house is in a prime location and the land is worth over a million, probably two, so his sale of it would be understandable, but it means I'd have to find somewhere else to live, and the rent prices around here are also something that would make you shake your head in disbelief. This leak will probably wind up being something I'll have to tell him about.

So while I was pacing, my thoughts rushed from the immediate practical worry about the leak, to the fact that I don't feel very successful, in contrast to my main circle of friends, all of whom own houses and seem to be proactive about their careers and know what they're doing in life. While I make what I used to think was an adequate amount of money, the fact that the cost of renting or buying a house at current prices would be 50% of my income kind of drives home that I am not an adult of any kind. I'm not hurting for money, but because I work for a nonprofit, I get paid a lot less than my position demands. I also have to stick with this job because it's the only thing that will pay me enough to support both me and Maggie (who works, but makes peanuts for the moment), even though I'm the least skilled member of my team and easily replaced. I'm not good enough at my job to compete with other applicants at bigger companies that would pay me competitively, so it's not really a solution to jump ship from where I am. There's also the fact that I like the mission of my org, and don't think that making money for a CEO instead of that mission is a trade-off that my heart could make to feel more "secure." However, my org keeps going through layoffs and isn't doing that well financially, so I spend most of my time praying that I still have a job tomorrow.

I recognize my problems are mostly self-induced, like my attachment to my general location, my attachment to nonprofit work, my career path, my preference for renting a house so I can record, etc. But I just look at everyone I know, and wonder how it is that their lives are pretty much going exactly to plan, whereas I made some decision or other that makes me feel like I'm standing on a pile of loose rocks. I know the problems with comparisons (I also recognize that many people are worse off than me, and many are in the same position so I know none of this is novel), but even without that aspect, I always have in the back of my mind the idea that it's all going to collapse any minute.

Sorry for the novel-length navel-gazing, I think I just had to write it out so I can see it all in one place. My therapist pretty much just validates whatever I say, so I'm not sure it's actually helping me navigate this stuff. I'm too in my own head and have a lot of problems living in the moment instead of worrying about the future, but when it's in my head instead of on a screen, it feels like a lot.
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Re: Open up "what's wrong with you?"

Post by Flex »

Kory wrote:
07 Aug 2023, 5:15pm
A heartfelt post
First, thanks for feeling comfortable opening up here with us. It's never easy, and I think I can say we all appreciate the sense of trust it takes to write something like this here.

I don't have any real genius advice on how to deal with the immediate problems of the leak and managing your concerns of what it may trigger, and I can't say I have genius advice on the other stuff either, except that I think you're right to point out that comparisons are a tricky thing. I know that's not really the only source of your worry, but it does seem to be adding some fuel to the fire. The missus and I have to remind ourselves all the time that we're not living a life that has an expected trajectory that we're supposed to adhere to, we have to do what's right for us and try not tonfall into a trap of comparing ourselves to others.

I can give an example of coworker of my wife. She and her husband are maybe a couple years younger than us at most but have no kids. They make pretty decent money and are always off traveling on vacations and weekend trips. Makes my wife jealous sometimes. But, you know, the thing is they're like basically the dullest fucking people on the planet when they're not being obnoxious. My wife basically has to manage her co-worker's personality to stay productive at work and I've had conversations with them at office parties and the only personality they seem to have is kinda smug and vapid. The travel and shit all just seems to be a way to compensate for being total duds as people. Nice lives of you follow Instagram, but they're not people whose lives id ever want to actually swap for.

Obviously, you're talking about your friends who you presumably like quite a bit more, but it really can't be overstated how important it is to keep in mind that everyone's reality is flawed once you drill into the details. Cliched, but true.

One thing that strikes me is that you know there's a bunch of stuff that you could try to do that probably won't make you happy, but you also seem pretty restless in your current situation. Have you tried to articulate the things that you feel bring you happiness and a sense of fulfillment about your current situation and then looked into how else you may be able to satisfy those things? I dunno if that's helpful advice, but I've been through a few jobs and "what about this actually makes me happy, and is this the way I can find this?" is usually a good question to ask from time to time.

I feel for you about the economic precarity and feelings of helplessness. Honestly, I don't have great advice on how to deal with that other than "try to make more money." But, as you say, you have assess other areas of your mental well-being. I will gently propose that at some point there may be a trade-off where the sense of security you get from living somewhere less expensive or having more income may create more positives in your life even if it comes with other tradeoffs. But I can't advise where that line is, only you may benefit from exploring that a little more.

It's hard man. I want to clearly express that your worries and frustrations and fears are completely understandable and valid. There are no quick fixes and hopefully any of my thoughts above don't come off as dismissive or overly simple. I think most of us spend a lot of our lives struggling to balance what makes our lives meaningful and what provides us material security. Some folks figure out how to do it all, but I think for most of us there's always serious tradeoffs. I'm sorry you're feeling it so acutely at the moment.
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Re: Open up "what's wrong with you?"

Post by Kory »

Flex wrote:
07 Aug 2023, 5:52pm
Kory wrote:
07 Aug 2023, 5:15pm
A heartfelt post
An appreciated reply
Thank you for your thoughts. I think I probably knew some of the advice you outlined here, but I'm still working through how to clear my mind of the immediate anxiety about it all to really focus and diagram out what I need to do about it. It helps to see it written out though, makes it more concrete and tangible somehow, particularly the section about abstracting out what I value more and seeing where I could get that elsewhere. A viewpoint that I perhaps hadn't considered yet.

As for "try to make more money," I suppose that's really at the base of all of it, for everyone! Thanks again, I'll probably read this a few more times over the coming days.
"Suck our Earth dick, Martians!" —Doc

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