movies

[tepista]

Splendid, thanks!

Premiered on Hulu and Amazon today. Good movie, I didn't flip for it personally, but you know me, I deduct points whenever there aren't any lesbian vampires.

What do you do for pansexual gill people?

Whatever they want me to do.

Correct answer. I'll try to check the movie out this weekend—I was a bit dubious that it was as good as the initial recommender said, and your review confirms me a bit.

I don't want to spoil anything, but it is one long road to a singular payoff (even if the whole movie is a tight 84 minutes). The payoff was pretty fucking good though, and I wouldn't mind talking about with spoilers after you see it.

[Kory]

Premiered on Hulu and Amazon today. Good movie, I didn't flip for it personally, but you know me, I deduct points whenever there aren't any lesbian vampires.

What do you do for pansexual gill people?

Whatever they want me to do.

Correct answer. I'll try to check the movie out this weekend—I was a bit dubious that it was as good as the initial recommender said, and your review confirms me a bit.

I don't want to spoil anything, but it is one long road to a singular payoff (even if the whole movie is a tight 84 minutes). The payoff was pretty fucking good though, and I wouldn't mind talking about with spoilers after you see it.

Cool, I'll be sure to watch it then.

[tepista]

Saint Maud (2020) Religious fanaticism and mental illness on display as a live-in nurse tries to save the soul of her terminal patient in a Northern England Beach town. Slow placed, good ending. I would not watch it twice. Is it fair to compare this movie to The Blackcoat's Daughter? Too late, I guess. I prefer Blackcoat by a large margin.

Stray Cat Rock: Delinquent Girl Boss (1970) A tough-chick biker takes sides in a girl-gang dispute and is soon battling yakuza over a boxer who refused to throw a match. They spend a lot of time in a club with a psychedelic rock band. Pretty tame pinky genre entry, but it’s my understanding that this is the movie that kicked off the entire tough girl genre in Japan, including four sequels to this, as well as the rip off (but possibly better) Girl Gang Boss, and Delinquent Girl Boss (yes, those are two separate franchises). With Meiko Kaji, future star of the Female Scorpion and Lady Snowblood movies.

The Beast Within (1982) Ronny Cox (Robocop) and Bibi Besch’s 17 year old son is suddenly terminally ill, so they return to the Mississippi swamp where she got raped by some sort of bigfoot seventeen years ago (they’d been pretending it never happened) for some answers. They find the town is full of dark secrets, and soon the sick boy follows them hundreds of miles of foot from instinct, then starts drinking the local’s blood, which suddenly makes him better! Director Phillipe Mora employs a WAY over the top rip-off the classic transformation scene from The Howling, using the bladder FX. Perhaps that’s why he went on to make The Howling 2 and 3. Sound pretty good, it’s actually pretty bad.

The Devil’s Plaything aka Vampire Ecstasy (1973) Descendants of an ancient castle come to claim their inheritance, where a coven of witches reside, waiting to reincarnate the soul of a 400 year-old vampire, the Baroness Varga, into to the body of one of the visitors. A professor of occultism and her brother, who have sexually repressed feelings for each other are along for the ride. Now this comes from mostly-porn director Joseph Sarno, and is pretty much non-stop softcore nudity and simulated sexual acts, with vampire curse wraparound story. At least 10 women bare it, maybe more. The witches do a ritual dance with dick-shaped candles. One of the visiting women gets a cure placed of her that makes her need to fuck constantly. All that and more. I felt it garbage at first, but then it started to grow on me. I mean, it was still garbage, but I made it through all 103 minutes.

Schizoid (1980) Members of psychiatrist Klaus Kinski’s group therapy are being murdered with a scissors by an unknown assailant in a giallo-inspired black coat and gloves. Marianna Hill (Messiah of Evil) is a newspaper columnist who gets constant death threats in the mail. Cops don’t care. No shortage of suspects, as she has an ex-husband who wants to make it work (Elm Street 3’s Craig Wasson), group member Christopher Lloyd who is mad that women don’t like him, Kinski himself, who’s sleeping with multiple group members, and his teenage daughter (Donna Wilkes) who’s mad at dad for moving on from his dead wife. Wilkes, who doesn’t mind showering in front of dad, supplies most of the nudity. She was 22 playing 15, she was still playing 18 four years later and high school hooker serial killer classic Angel (1984) Could Klaus Kinski possibly NOT be the killer? I mean, he’s Kalus Kinski! See for your yourself, this was a blast.

The Curse (1987) Based on H.P. Lovecraft’s The Color Out of Space. A small meteor crashes on a family farm in Tennessee and pollutes the water. First, vegetables that appear normal on the outside are filled with gross puss and maggots, then the livestock goes crazy and attacks people, and the humans first get blisters on their face, which get progressively worse, before they eventually turn goofy, then violent. Mom was first to go, neat little scene where the fam is watching TV, and it would appear mom is sewing some socks, but she was actually sewing her own hands. Claude Akins plays the father, a churchie motherfucker who believes this "curse" was sent on his farm because his wife had been unfaithful. Wil Wheaton is the teenage protagonist, protecting his little sis from infection. Loaded with gross-out fx, and entertaining all the way through.

The Vampire Lovers (1970) The first of Hammer Film’s Karnstein Trilogy, based on the classic novella “Carmilla” by Sheridan Le Fanu. Ingrid Pitt plays the beautiful Carmilla, a seductive vampire who comes to stay with a family and makes close friends with the equally beautiful Emma (Madeline Smith). Peter Cushing plays a General, who niece was a previous victim of the sexy vamp who was using the anagrammed pseudonym of “Mircalla” at the time. Will Emma be saved before it’s too late? There was a good amount of blood and decapitations, and all the nudity you want in this relatively faithful adaptation of the novella, which I recommend strongly. According to the kick ass movie poster, this film is "not for the mentally immature"!

Blue Eyes of the Broken Doll (1973) Spanish giallo w/ Paul "El Hombre Lobo" Naschy as a drifter (who has vivid dreams of strangling women) who gets a job in a house occupied by three attractive sisters, one in a wheelchair, one with a prosthetic glove that covers a disfigured hand, and one a nymphomaniac. When every blond-haired blue-eyed woman in town turns up dead from hatchet wounds, and eyes gouged from head, the police put it together that the killings started when Naschy arrived in town. Nudity, blood, and a nice double-twist ending made this a surprisingly entertaining giallo. I saw this on early AM TV many years ago under the awesome alternate title "House of Psychotic Women"

House of Whipcord (1974) An attractive, young, French model in London is lured under false pretense to an abandoned prison where a senile retired judge and his team of wicked wardens convict and incarcerate their prisoners for what they believe to be crimes of indecency. Nudity and brutality from the great Brit indie director Pete Walker.

Terrifying Girls High School: Violent Women’s Classroom (1972) Miki Sugimoto and Reiko Ike are heads of rival girl gangs vying for the top spot at a school for bad girls. One teacher has had enough and slaps them around. He’s soon sorry he did. Loaded with rape and nudity, switchblades, forced toilet-stall abortions and suicide, this one rates pretty high on the sleaze factor.

The Last Drive-In with Joe Bob Briggs; Season 3 Episode 4

Fried Barry (2020) In Cape Town, South Africa, an insane-looking, eyebrowless heroin user is abducted by aliens, probed, and sent back to earth with the soul of an alien inside him, and proceeds to enjoy the seedy side of town. For some reason, every woman, prostitute and otherwise, wants to have sex with him. He ejaculates black goo, and the hooker conceives and gives birth in a matter of minutes! All this and much more, as our hero engages in a new adventure about every 5 minutes! Lots of drugs and sex and visual stimulation, though not something I’d be interested in repeat watches.

Ginger Snaps (2000) Two goth sisters (Emily Perkins and Katherine Isabelle)see their high school experience take a turn for the unexpected when one of them is bitten by a werewolf in this outstanding coming of age flick from Canada. Also with Mimi Rogers and lots of dead dogs. Don’t miss it.


The Last Drive-In with Joe Bob Briggs: Season 3 Episode 5

Mandy (2018) Nic Cage and his girlfriend’s peaceful existence is halted by a demon-hippie cult who bring drugs and death, and Nic goes on a quest for ultra-violent revenge. I didn’t like this the first time, but I think I’m changing my tune. The very first bit of dialog in the movie is Cage telling a nonsensical knock-knock joke, and it completely threw me out of sorts. This time, prepared to ignore the joke, I watched with an open mind and I quite enjoyed it. (3rd time now)

Dead and Buried (1981) The small coastal town of Potter's Bluff has a welcoming committee...that will beat you to death if you're passing through. The local sheriff finds the murders disturbing, and even more so when the victims appear to join the community after their deaths. Finding books about voodoo and witchcraft in his wife's personal belongings don't ease his mind either. Wily Wonka's Jack Albertson is an eccentric mortician. Jack would die this same year, though he did have five more film credits, way to work til the end! Sometimes hard to make sense of, but not dull and often gory. This is a very different slasher-era flick, and worth a look.

[Kory]

What do you do for pansexual gill people?

Whatever they want me to do.

Correct answer. I'll try to check the movie out this weekend—I was a bit dubious that it was as good as the initial recommender said, and your review confirms me a bit.

I don't want to spoil anything, but it is one long road to a singular payoff (even if the whole movie is a tight 84 minutes). The payoff was pretty fucking good though, and I wouldn't mind talking about with spoilers after you see it.

Cool, I'll be sure to watch it then.

Finally watched this and thought it was good. The mood and cinematography were great throughout and the soundtrack was also good. These creeping horror movies do way more for me than ones that are loaded with jump scares. I put this in the same category as other A24 greats like The VVitch, Hereditary, etc.

[tepista]

Whatever they want me to do.

Correct answer. I'll try to check the movie out this weekend—I was a bit dubious that it was as good as the initial recommender said, and your review confirms me a bit.

I don't want to spoil anything, but it is one long road to a singular payoff (even if the whole movie is a tight 84 minutes). The payoff was pretty fucking good though, and I wouldn't mind talking about with spoilers after you see it.

Cool, I'll be sure to watch it then.

Finally watched this and thought it was good. The mood and cinematography were great throughout and the soundtrack was also good. These creeping horror movies do way more for me than ones that are loaded with jump scares. I put this in the same category as other A24 greats like The VVitch, Hereditary, etc.

SPOILERS!
I really did love the religious fanaticism/mental disease comparison. It's a movie that I liked better after I was done watching it. And there WAS lesbians, they just weren't vampires! Have you seen Blackcoat's Daughter? I believe it's an A24 release as well, from 2015. I highly recommend. Top 3 of the decade, in fact, for me personally.

[Kory]

Correct answer. I'll try to check the movie out this weekend—I was a bit dubious that it was as good as the initial recommender said, and your review confirms me a bit.

I don't want to spoil anything, but it is one long road to a singular payoff (even if the whole movie is a tight 84 minutes). The payoff was pretty fucking good though, and I wouldn't mind talking about with spoilers after you see it.

Cool, I'll be sure to watch it then.

Finally watched this and thought it was good. The mood and cinematography were great throughout and the soundtrack was also good. These creeping horror movies do way more for me than ones that are loaded with jump scares. I put this in the same category as other A24 greats like The VVitch, Hereditary, etc.

SPOILERS!
I really did love the religious fanaticism/mental disease comparison. It's a movie that I liked better after I was done watching it. And there WAS lesbians, they just weren't vampires! Have you seen Blackcoat's Daughter? I believe it's an A24 release as well, from 2015. I highly recommend. Top 3 of the decade, in fact, for me personally.

I'll definitely put it on the list. A24 is so good—I'm really dreading the day they lose control of everything and become just another production company (as happened with Focus wayyyy back when). I haven't gotten to read up on this yet, but there were a few spots where the main actor looked quite inhuman. I wonder if that was lighting + her natural ability to contort her face, or if there was actually some CG involved there.

[Kory]

I don't want to spoil anything, but it is one long road to a singular payoff (even if the whole movie is a tight 84 minutes). The payoff was pretty fucking good though, and I wouldn't mind talking about with spoilers after you see it.

Cool, I'll be sure to watch it then.

Finally watched this and thought it was good. The mood and cinematography were great throughout and the soundtrack was also good. These creeping horror movies do way more for me than ones that are loaded with jump scares. I put this in the same category as other A24 greats like The VVitch, Hereditary, etc.

SPOILERS!
I really did love the religious fanaticism/mental disease comparison. It's a movie that I liked better after I was done watching it. And there WAS lesbians, they just weren't vampires! Have you seen Blackcoat's Daughter? I believe it's an A24 release as well, from 2015. I highly recommend. Top 3 of the decade, in fact, for me personally.

I'll definitely put it on the list. A24 is so good—I'm really dreading the day they lose control of everything and become just another production company (as happened with Focus wayyyy back when). I haven't gotten to read up on this yet, but there were a few spots where the main actor looked quite inhuman. I wonder if that was lighting + her natural ability to contort her face, or if there was actually some CG involved there.

Ah, it is CG, just reading up on it now.

[tepista]

Psycho Goreman (2020) A sister and brother find a gemstone that allows them, or really just her, to control a destroyer of galaxies from another dimension in this fun, gory comedy from the director of The Void.

Cannibal Ferox (1981) A college student and two friends travel to the Amazon jungles to disprove the theory of cannibal tribes when they find two men on the run from just that. They team up only to soon learn the men are violent drug dealers and the cannibal's intentions may be justified. I think director Umberto Lenzi may have been trying to top Ruggero Deodato’s notorious Cannibal Holocaust from the year before, and some may argue that he succeeded. Dick-choppin’, tit-gougin’, head-slicin’, brain-eatin’ insanity, unfortunately accompanied by a large dose of animal cruelty. This played in US theaters in 83 under the fantastic alt title “Make Them Die Slowly”. "Banned in 31 Countries" proudly exclaimed the VHS box.

Party Line (1988) A good looking sister and brother team (Greta Blackburn and Leif Garrett) use 976 party lines to lure unsuspecting men and women to their mansion for sex, where they murder them with a straight razor. They also abduct people from crowded bars and dump bodies from a Ferrari undetected. Way to keep it inconspicuous. An over-the-top tough cop and a pretty assistant DA who won’t sleep with her boss are on, then off the case, then keep working off the clock. A teenager was using the lines, and the pervert dad she was working for busted her, then got curious himself, and killed. She then helps lead the cops to the perps. I guess this was fun, but holy fuck, it was awful!

Army of the Dead (2021) The first 15 minutes or so was pretty good, Las Vegas is infested with zombies, and the military is able to contain it. Then it turns into a heist movie. With Vegas going to be leveled by nukes in a few days, a millionaire hotel owner hires Dave Bautista to enter the danger zone and crack a safe in his casino that contains countless hundreds of millions of dollars. Assemble a team (You Son of a Bitch, I’m In!), and it becomes as corny as anything you’ve ever seen, with every cliché, one-dimensional character under the sun. A wise-cracker, a tough guy, an opposite-of-tough guy, a resentful daughter, a guy who can’t be trusted, someone who needs to redeem them self, and so on. I guess I was vaguely entertained for the most part. It was a bit long, at 2:28.

Terrifying Girls High School: Lynch Law Classroom (1973) The new bad girls at a reform school battle the old guard when they find out a girl’s suicide was really a murder. Corrupt officials, prostitution, switchblade fights, this one’s got it all. Miki Sugimito and Reiko Ike return form the first TGHS film, but this is a sequel in name only, all new characters. Or is that the same characters with different names?

Things Heard & Seen (2021) Amanda Seyfried moves to remote upper New York when her douchebag husband get a teaching job at a small college. A ghost makes its presence known to her and her daughter, as the husband has hid the house’s violent past form her. The Better Call Saul woman has a good character, the Stranger Things sister has a bad one, but Seyfried is always likeable. Started out poorly with too many cliches, then it started to give me an Amityville Horror vibe, and right when I felt I was into it, it tanked out with a crap ending.

The Last Drive-In with Joe Bob Briggs; Season 3 Episode 6

Maniac Cop (1988) A killer in a police uniform has NYC in a panic. Patrolman Bruce Campbell is the top suspect when his wife turns up dead. Tom Skerrit is on the case, and the killer appears to be a disgraced, violent cop who was thought to be dead. Great fun from this slasher from Bill Lustig and a Larry Cohen script.

Maniac Cop 2 (1992) Larry Cohen and Bill Lustig return with a much bigger buget that many think is better than the first. Unstoppable killer cop Cordell didn’t die in the river, he’s back, and this time he befriends a serial killer who’s snuffin' out strippers. One scene, he breaks into the police station and shoots dozens of cops and throws them through walls, a la Terminator. Brief nudity, car chases, explosions, and just about as much fire as you could imagine. The end credits had "Maniac Cop Rap and the cop reads the Miranda Act during the song and he says "You have the right to a mortician"

Joe Bob had Bruce Campbell for the first movie and Bill Lustig for the second, both were delightful.

[Flex]

Went to see Cruella in a real movie theater with the missus last night. It doesn't really work as an actual origin story for the character since they never make her truly evil (which is good, I had no interest in seeing a movie about someone deciding to murder puppies), but it was pretty entertaining. Sort of Baby Driver meets the Devil Wears Prada with a splash of glam and punk aesthetic draped over the whole thing. Good first-movie-back-in-theaters kinda thing.

[Kory]

Went to see Cruella in a real movie theater with the missus last night. It doesn't really work as an actual origin story for the character since they never make her truly evil (which is good, I had no interest in seeing a movie about someone deciding to murder puppies), but it was pretty entertaining. Sort of Baby Driver meets the Devil Wears Prada with a splash of glam and punk aesthetic draped over the whole thing. Good first-movie-back-in-theaters kinda thing.

I'll watch anything with Emma Stone. I was going to stream it last night but it's 30 fuckin' bucks.

[Flex]

I'll watch anything with Emma Stone. I was going to stream it last night but it's 30 fuckin' bucks.

We leech disney+ off my woman's disney-obsessed sister's wife, and they always pay extra for the early access movies. Get you an extended family with a member that will only vacation at disneyworld, imho

Addendum: emma stone was hot

[Dr. Medulla]

We leech disney+ off my woman's disney-obsessed sister's wife, and they always pay extra for the early access movies. Get you an extended family with a member that will only vacation at disneyworld, imho

Tangential story: One of my good friends and colleagues is a Jewish historian (i.e., he's Jewish and specializes in Jewish history) and a Disney lunatic. The conflict between love of Disney and Walt's antisemitism is solved by seriously downplaying the latter. I hit him on that whenever he accuses some prominent figure of being antisemitic That blind spot amuses me to no end because he is so passionate about both.

[matedog]

We leech disney+ off my woman's disney-obsessed sister's wife, and they always pay extra for the early access movies. Get you an extended family with a member that will only vacation at disneyworld, imho

Tangential story: One of my good friends and colleagues is a Jewish historian (i.e., he's Jewish and specializes in Jewish history) and a Disney lunatic. The conflict between love of Disney and Walt's antisemitism is solved by seriously downplaying the latter. I hit him on that whenever he accuses some prominent figure of being antisemitic That blind spot amuses me to no end because he is so passionate about both.

I’ve been wondering and afraid to ask my token jewish friends, but do Jews avoid Ford cars? Like, I would get it if they did.

[Dr. Medulla]

We leech disney+ off my woman's disney-obsessed sister's wife, and they always pay extra for the early access movies. Get you an extended family with a member that will only vacation at disneyworld, imho

Tangential story: One of my good friends and colleagues is a Jewish historian (i.e., he's Jewish and specializes in Jewish history) and a Disney lunatic. The conflict between love of Disney and Walt's antisemitism is solved by seriously downplaying the latter. I hit him on that whenever he accuses some prominent figure of being antisemitic That blind spot amuses me to no end because he is so passionate about both.

I’ve been wondering and afraid to ask my token jewish friends, but do Jews avoid Ford cars? Like, I would get it if they did.

Ha! I'd never thought of that. It makes some sense.

[JennyB]

We leech disney+ off my woman's disney-obsessed sister's wife, and they always pay extra for the early access movies. Get you an extended family with a member that will only vacation at disneyworld, imho

Tangential story: One of my good friends and colleagues is a Jewish historian (i.e., he's Jewish and specializes in Jewish history) and a Disney lunatic. The conflict between love of Disney and Walt's antisemitism is solved by seriously downplaying the latter. I hit him on that whenever he accuses some prominent figure of being antisemitic That blind spot amuses me to no end because he is so passionate about both.

He sounds like the male version of me without the Disney freakdom.