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tepista
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Re: movies

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Hitch-Hike aka Autostop Rosso Sangue (1977) Franco Nero and Corinne Clery are driving through the California desert and bickering all the way through, when they pick up a hitchhiker (David Hess) who is soon found to be a murderous bank robber who torments them the rest of the trip. Hess was basically reprising his sadistic thrill-killer character he played so perfectly in Last House on the Left. The gorgeous Clery, a future Bond girl, spends a lot of time unclothed, and Nero is a great son-of-a-bitch. Pretty much a 3-person play most of the film, and all three were fantastic. (DVD)

The House with Laughing Windows (1976) A man is hired to restore a church mural that was painted by a very insane man several years before, and someone is trying to make him stop in Pupi Avati’s highly regarded giallo. There’s a really good third act, but I’d say it suffers a bit from a dull protagonist and a long time to get the motor running. Some unintentional humor when the love interest strips down to reveal a humongous pair of granny-panties. (DVD)

Day Shift (2022) Lots of Hi-Tech FX in the Jaime Foxx action-comedy about an organization of vampire hunters. The action was just fine, the script was brain dead. I’m not complaining though, Not really my kind of movie but I chose to watch it anyway, I knew what I was getting into. I thought I’d at least get a laugh or two. (Netflix)

Eaten Alive! (1981) A young woman hires a mercenary to guide her through he jungles on New Guinea to find her missing sister. They end up being stranded in a Jonestown-esque cult that co-exists among the local cannibals! All the gore and nudity you need form the father of the genre, Umberto Lenzi, though some of the footage has been rehashed from older cannibal pics. With Ivan Rassimov and MeMe Lai, among others (TUBI)

Dario Argento’s Dracula aka Dracula 3D (2012) It’s Dracula, Asia Argento is Lucy, Rutger Hauer is Van Helsing, and Thomas Kretchmann as Dracula. It’s Argento so there’s a lot of sex and gore. There’s also some seriously awful CGI, which I’d call video game quality. I’d seen and enjoyed it a couple times in the past, but this 3rd viewing will probably be my last. Many call this Argento’s worst, I wouldn’t agree with that, but I can’t really argue it either. Fun Fact: Kretchmann would go on to play Van Helsing the next year in a Dracula TV show, and Hauer had previously been the Count in Wes Craven’s Dracula II & III. (TUBI)

Mad Foxes (1981) Low budget insanity from Spain, about a Corvette-driving ladies man who gets into a blood feud with a nazi biker gang. The film seems to exist for no other reason that one shock after another, including castration, hand-grenade in a toilet bowl, sex in a tub full of filthy yellow water, fetish scenes, rape, all kinds of gun violence, and Krokus on the soundtrack. Must be seen to be believed, but beware of edits, as the sex and gore is the only reason anyone would sit through this. The full cut is 80 minutes. Tubi has a version 11 minutes short. (DVD)

Count Dracula (1970) Christopher Lee plays Dracula for Jess Franco in his faithful adaption of Bram Stoker’s novel. Klaus Kinski is the fly-eating Renfield, Herbert Lom Professor Van Helsing and the beautiful Soledad Miranda is the ill-fated Lucy. See Dracula’s mustache and hair gradually go from white to black as he feeds. Certainly one of Franco’s best. (Midnight Pulp)

Vampyros Lesbos (1971) The gorgeous Soledad Miranda plays a man-hating, modern descendant of Dracula, living in a Turkish mansion and seducing a vacationing woman. Loaded with nudity and psychedelic imagery, this Spanish-German production, heavily influenced by Bram Stoker is arguably Jess Franco’s best (DVD)
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Re: movies

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The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (1986) A local DJ records a pair of frat boys getting massacred on a cellphone, and Leatherface and the clan come after her when she plays it on the radio. Good thing she’s got “Lefty” (Dennis Hopper) on her side, a veteran cowboy-cop who has been chasing these murders for 13 years. Tobe Hooper returns to direct the sequel to his game changing classic, this time with tongue in cheek. Bill Mosley plays “Chop Top” in his first of about a hundred genre roles. This movie is a delight. I had the poster on my wall when I was a teenager! (TUBI)

Girl Boss: Mano a Mano aka Girl Boss: Diamond Showdown aka Sukeban: Taiman Shobu (1974) Reiko Ike returns for the 6th Sukeban entry after missing the last one, without Miki Sugemoto, unfortunately. She gets out of juvenile detention, avenges some wrongdoings, takes over a gang, and gets in trouble with yakuza. Just like every Sukeban movie before it! And just like the rest, it’s loaded with violence and nudity, and it starts light and ends heavy. A good time to be had by all! (DVD)

Glorious (2022) Minimalist cosmic horror, with Stackhouse from True Blood hung over in a rest stop bathroom and communicating with a voice (JK Simmons) claiming to be an ancient god through a glory hole in a toilet stall. I can’t say I enjoyed it too much, even at around 75 minutes it seemed a bit stretched. Director Rebekah McKendry had previously done the Christmas anthology All the Creatures were stirring, which I thought was fantastic. Maybe short subjects are her wheelhouse? (SHUDDER)

Mutant (1984) Wings Hauser and his brother are run off the road by rednecks and are stuck in a one-horse-town where a bio-zombie outbreak is starting. Bo Hopkins plays a drunk sheriff. No sex, and gore was replaced by yellow goo that oozed from the blue-faced zombies. I thought it was a dud, looks like a lot of people like it though. Blatant product logos throughout, most notably RC Cola and Dramamine. (TUBI)

The Clovehitch Killer (2018) In Churchie-Town Nebraska, a teenage boy accidentally finds his father’s bondage-porn stash, sending he and his little friend on a hunt for clues a la Nancy Drew to prove his old man is the town’s notorious serial killer who stopped killing several years back. Dylan McDermott is good as the Boy Scout leader dad, and the mystery-solving-teens-on-bikes gimmick seems a bit more serious when not accompanied by an 80s soundtrack. So, not as light as a teen romp, not as heavy as a serial killer profile, somewhere in between. Easy watch, enjoyable. (SHUDDER)

Doctor of Doom (1963) A mad scientist is kidnapping women for brain transplant experiments, and only Gloria Venus and Golden Rubi, a pair of beautiful female wrestlers can stop him. See the beauties battle a half man-half gorilla, and beat the bad guys, comic book style. Lorena Vasquez and Elizabeth Campbell would reprise their lucha-beauty characters a few more times each for prolific Mexican exploitation director, Rene Cardona. (Midnight Pulp)

Trouble Every Day (2001) French arthouse horror about a sex cannibal (the sexy Beatrice Dalle) who bites and partially devours her partners, and her scientist husband who covers for her while searching for a cure. An American honeymooning couple comes to Paris, looking for them. Very slow paced and low on dialog, but plenty of nudity and blood. Good movie, I doubt I’d watch it twice though. It made me think or the 82 version of Cat People. (SHUDDER)

Hatching (2022) Finnish body horror about a 12 year old girl who rescues a bird egg, which hatches into a creature that becomes aggressive towards her not-so-perfect friends and family. This one wasn’t really for me, allegory on how hard it is to be a pre-teen girl with a demanding mother, and pretty predictable. (HULU)
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Hell of the Living Dead (1980) An experiment goes out of control and spreads throughout New Guinea, turning natives into flesh eating zombies. A team of mercenaries and journalists work together to find safety in a crazy, incoherent mash-up that’s not sure if it wants to be a science-gone-wrong movie, jungles savages, or a straight up zombie movie. What this movie is not, is boring for one minute! Nudity, unintentional (I hope) comedy, and gore, gore, gore. A mercenary puts on a tutu and does a tap-dance routine surrounded by zombies and gets killed, and yes, I still say the comedy was unintentional! Bruno Mattei’s best. (TUBI)

Caligula and Messalina (1981) After the popularity of the mainstream, X-Rated Caligula bio-pic a few years earlier, Bruno Mattei takes a crack at it. Caligula abuses power, bangs his sisters, and both virgin bride and groom on their wedding night, and much more, before losing power to the sexy and promiscuous Mesalina, and they leave a trail of dead and/or naked bodies along they way. Smut or trash, I find it pretty entertaining. (Midnight Pulp)

The True Story of the Nun of Monza (1980) In the 1600s, a young heiress is sent to a convent of horny nuns, and when her father dies and she becomes a lady of high social standing and wealth, she declares herself Mother Superior, and gets pregnant. Don’t ask me how nun-politics work. Supposedly based on a true story. Tons of nudity, and a bit of violence too. And graphic horse porn. Another good one from Bruno Mattei. (Midnight Pulp)

Watcher (2022) Maika Monroe (It Follows) is a young wife who accompanies her husband to his home country of Romania for a job. She’s all alone, doesn’t speak the language, and is unnerved by a news report of a serial killer in the vicinity. When she complains to her husband that she thinks someone is watching and following her, he thinks she’s overreacting. Add a bit of influence from Hitchcock’s Rear Window, and I’d say The Watcher was Watchable, though not great. First feature for Chloe Okuno, who did the “Storm Drain” segment in V/H/S 94. (SHUDDER)

The Red Queen Kills Seven Times (1972) Barbara Bouchet is Kitty, a fashion photographer whose family has been plagued by a centuries-old curse that one sister would kill another, and that the dead one would rise from the grave to commit seven murders, the final one being her sister. Well, Kitty’s sister is dead, and someone who fits the description is killing Kitty’s coworkers at the modeling agency. A+ nudity from Sybil Danning and Babs, in an all around entertaining giallo that manages to give a gothic and supernatural vibe in a modern setting. With Marina Malfatti and Pia Giancarlo, this is one of the best looking giallo casts out there. (SHUDDER)

Julie Darling (1983) Teenage Julie is not interested in boys her age, only her daddy (Anthony Franciosa of Tenebre), so when her mom is murdered by a would-be rapist in front of her very eyes, she sees it as a great opportunity to get some alone time. Imagine Julie’s disappointment when dad brings his side piece (Sybil Danning) and her young son to move in before mom had time to get cold. Julie plots to get rid of them, but does she have what it takes to kill? Find out for yourself, this was good fuckin’ movie! Nudity? Well I said it had Sybil Danning, didn’t I? (DVD)

Reform School Girls (1986) The newbies in the juvenile detention center fight back against the tough girl (former front-woman for the Plasmatics, Wendy O. Williams), the nasty head matron (Pat Ast) and the cruel warden (Sybil Danning). The plot is simple, and if you like gratuitous shower scenes and lingerie fistfights, than this one has got what it takes. I’d wager that not a single one of these “juveniles” was under 20. Wendy O was 37, I think. Her “It’s My Life” is featured on the end credits. (YouTube)

The Panther Women (1967) A Satanic cult brings their long-dead leader back to life, and he requires vengeance on the descendants of his killer. That would be the family of Luchadora Loretta Venus, who, wither her tag team partner Golden Rubi ultimately have a showdown with the masked “Shadows”, who transform into cat-women in the middle of the match. I guess Santo wasn’t available, as the ladies are assisted by a mysterious crime fighter called The Masked Angel. From Mexican directing legend, Rene Cardona, who apparently was still filming in black & white in 1967. (Midnight Pulp)

Grandmother’s House (1988) Recently orphaned, teenage sister and brother go to stay with their grandparents. The boy believes he may have seen grandpa (Seinfeld’s Uncle Leo) kill and dispose of a young woman’s body. He observes further creepy behavior, but could it be just old people being weird? Pretty tame for well over an hour, and had a made-for-TV feel, but picked up in the last 15 minutes or so. The only movie I’ve ever seen featuring Brinke Stevens and no nudity! (Midnight Pulp)
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Yokai Monsters: 100 Monsters (1968) The first hour was all drama, with a few quick monster scenes sprinkled in, then a bunch of monsters, though nowhere near 100, hop around the last 15 minutes. While we’re waiting for the yokai to show up, it’s about a peasants who have been evicted from a tenement by mean-ol’ yakuza, who eventually get their comeuppances from the monsters. Well, the director also has a handful of Zatoichi flicks in his resume, that’s why the plot is probably so familiar to me, replace samurai with monsters. The best monster is a woman that can stretch her neck several feet long, and the silliest is a living umbrella with a single eye and leg.

Yokai Monsters: Spook Warfare aka Big Monster War (1968) Set in Samurai times, a demon disguises itself as a magistrate, and starts killing and drinking the blood of his servants. The local monsters, who normally remain unseen by humans, band together to stop him, but they are no match for his power. Joining the long-necked woman and the umbrella creature are a duck-turtle creature with a lily pad on the top of his head and an umbrella with one eye, one leg and a long tongue, and a beautiful woman with an equally grotesque face on the back of her head. Unlike the first entry, this one had wall-to-wall monster action.

Yokai Monsters: Along with Ghosts (1969) The third in the trilogy, this one follows a little girl who witnesses her grandfather murdered by yakuza, who trail her as she attempts to escape with the help of a ronin. Eventually, some yokai spirits lend a hand, but they sure take their gosh-darned time. Even at 80 minutes, it still feels like a long wait for the monsters to show up. None of the monster from the first two films show up, all new ones, none remarkable.

Yokia Monsters Trilogy Overview: The films are related in theme only, so you can watch them out of sequence. I’d have to say that with the exception of a few good visuals, only Spook Warfare delivers the goods.

Blue Ruin (2013) Seeking vengeance for the death of his parents, Dwight attacks the convicted killer upon his release, setting off a chain reaction of violence, in this very cool drama/thriller from the director of Green Room. I guess he likes titles with colors.

Night of the Skull (1974) Jess Franco’s giallo-esque whodunit revolves around a shady will reading in a Louisiana mansion, and a killer in a rubber skull mask rubbing out beneficiaries. Light on the nudity, for a Franco film with Lina Romay, I suspect my version was edited.

Mary, Mary, Bloody Mary (1975) A young, American female vampire seduces and drains men and women alike across the Mexican countryside, while a mysterious man in black does the same and police are baffled. Cristina Ferrera, the real life wife of John DeLorean, is the title character. She takes her top off a few time, John Carradine leaves his on. From the director of Alucarda, this one is not as wild as that, but it has its moments.

Murderlust (1985) An alcoholic security guard and chronic non-payer of rent, Steve likes to murder prostitutes and bury them in the Mojave desert now and again. The churchies must not be too big on background checks, because on weekends he’s a highly respected Sunday School teacher. One scene of nudity, and no blood whatsoever in this very low budget indie out of Pomona, CA, but something about this bad movie kept my interest all the way through.

Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth (1992) A sleazy nightclub owner obtains a block statue as art, which contains Pinhead and the puzzle box, among other things. Pinhead convinces him to bring him sacrifices, which will eventually release him to move freely outside the boundaries of Hell. A pretty TV reporter looking for a scoop teams up with a pretty, but incredibly dumb clubber who has seen the box in action. The highlight is Hell breaking loose in the club, which results in the formation of some new cenobites, including a DJ who transformed into a partial CD player and used discs as Ninja stars. I hadn’t seen this one for ages, nowhere close to the quality of the first 2, yet not quite at the the unwatchable point it was on its way to. Anthony Hickox of Waxwork fame directs.
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Re: movies

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Hellraiser III is as close to a "funny" Hellraiser as we ever get. Also, Terry Farrell is always quite fetching.
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Re: movies

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revbob wrote:
11 Jun 2022, 7:47am


Looks promising
Watched this morning. I was slow to get into it, but it eventually won me over. It's pretty cliched when you get down to it—bitter loner guy meets weirdo nerd girl and they bond and each draw the other out—but I'm a sucker for those stories.

"I never doubted myself for a minute for I knew that my monkey-strong bowels were girded with strength, like the loins of a dragon ribboned with fat and the opulence of buffalo dung." - Richard Nixon, Checkers Speech, abandoned early draft

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Re: movies

Post by tepista »

Dr. Medulla wrote:
17 Sep 2022, 8:07am

Watched this morning. I was slow to get into it, but it eventually won me over. It's pretty cliched when you get down to it—bitter loner guy meets weirdo nerd girl and they bond and each draw the other out—but I'm a sucker for those stories.
Did a double-take, as I thought I read "and they boned"
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Re: movies

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tepista wrote:
17 Sep 2022, 11:19am
Dr. Medulla wrote:
17 Sep 2022, 8:07am

Watched this morning. I was slow to get into it, but it eventually won me over. It's pretty cliched when you get down to it—bitter loner guy meets weirdo nerd girl and they bond and each draw the other out—but I'm a sucker for those stories.
Did a double-take, as I thought I read "and they boned"
They also boned (well, in her word, "violated," but in a good way).
"I never doubted myself for a minute for I knew that my monkey-strong bowels were girded with strength, like the loins of a dragon ribboned with fat and the opulence of buffalo dung." - Richard Nixon, Checkers Speech, abandoned early draft

tepista
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Re: movies

Post by tepista »

Image
We reach the parts other combos cannot reach
We beach the beachheads other armies cannot beach
We speak the tongues other mouths cannot speak

Dr. Medulla
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Re: movies

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tepista wrote:
19 Sep 2022, 5:11pm
Image
Good lord. :scared:
"I never doubted myself for a minute for I knew that my monkey-strong bowels were girded with strength, like the loins of a dragon ribboned with fat and the opulence of buffalo dung." - Richard Nixon, Checkers Speech, abandoned early draft

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Re: movies

Post by gkbill »

Dr. Medulla wrote:
19 Sep 2022, 5:26pm
tepista wrote:
19 Sep 2022, 5:11pm
Image
Good lord. :scared:
Hello,

Big Bang Theory already covered this a while back. The boys were very let down when Amy Farrah Fowler espoused this idea.

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Re: movies

Post by BostonBeaneater »

The Unbearable Weight Of Massive Talent is a great film when you're sick on the couch.
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Re: movies

Post by revbob »

gkbill wrote:
19 Sep 2022, 9:54pm
Dr. Medulla wrote:
19 Sep 2022, 5:26pm
tepista wrote:
19 Sep 2022, 5:11pm
Image
Good lord. :scared:
Hello,

Big Bang Theory already covered this a while back. The boys were very let down when Amy Farrah Fowler espoused this idea.
Yeah you should have known this Doc.

Dr. Medulla
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Re: movies

Post by Dr. Medulla »

revbob wrote:
19 Sep 2022, 10:33pm
gkbill wrote:
19 Sep 2022, 9:54pm
Dr. Medulla wrote:
19 Sep 2022, 5:26pm
tepista wrote:
19 Sep 2022, 5:11pm
Image
Good lord. :scared:
Hello,

Big Bang Theory already covered this a while back. The boys were very let down when Amy Farrah Fowler espoused this idea.
Yeah you should have known this Doc.
I must have missed that episode. I think I was picking at a hangnail or something.
"I never doubted myself for a minute for I knew that my monkey-strong bowels were girded with strength, like the loins of a dragon ribboned with fat and the opulence of buffalo dung." - Richard Nixon, Checkers Speech, abandoned early draft

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Re: movies

Post by revbob »

Dr. Medulla wrote:
20 Sep 2022, 6:29am
revbob wrote:
19 Sep 2022, 10:33pm
gkbill wrote:
19 Sep 2022, 9:54pm
Dr. Medulla wrote:
19 Sep 2022, 5:26pm
tepista wrote:
19 Sep 2022, 5:11pm
Image
Good lord. :scared:
Hello,

Big Bang Theory already covered this a while back. The boys were very let down when Amy Farrah Fowler espoused this idea.
Yeah you should have known this Doc.
I must have missed that episode. I think I was picking at a hangnail or something.
I thought it might have been because you had an argument with your wife because you left the toilet seat up...again (cue laugh track).

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