The Future of the Republican Party

[Dr. Medulla]

Ron DeSantis Relaunches Presidential Campaign From Inside Burning Tesla

TALLAHASSEE, FL—Attempting his formal announcement again in an effort to compensate for last night’s glitch-ridden debacle on Twitter, Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis reportedly relaunched his presidential campaign Thursday from inside a burning Tesla. “America deserves a president who won’t cave to wokeness and will instead embrace the values of our founding fathers,” said DeSantis, who, sitting in the front seat of a Tesla Roadster as it filled with smoke and the doors automatically locked, looked on helplessly when the hood erupted in flames, the self-driving function engaged, and the fiery vehicle tore through the streets, running over numerous pedestrians. “We must rein in the administrative state, and President…President Biden isn’t… Shit, shit, shit. Um, we need—oh God!—we need to shut down the border, and…we, ugh, I need help! Please, call 9-1-1! I can’t control this thing!” At press time, first responders had reportedly rescued DeSantis by pulling him out through one of the Tesla windows, its bulletproof glass having shattered immediately after an officer fired a single shot at it.

https://www.theonion.com/ron-desantis-r ... 1850475896

[Silent Majority]

The Onion is on an absolute roll lately.

[Dr. Medulla]

https://www.cerberus.com/our-firm/leade ... an-quayle/

It's a curious thing how Dan Quayle went from being the clichéd heartbeat from the presidency to just dropping off the face of the earth. Like, a quarter century has passed and he's just vanished entirely from the political scene and popular imagination. In a weird way, I respect that he cashed out and went on to a quiet, dumb life, collecting paycheques and casually working to make ordinary lives worse. That is, he was never going to be a positive force in the world, but at least, in an era that especially valourizes dumb, rich, white guys, he's stayed quiet.

[revbob]

https://www.cerberus.com/our-firm/leade ... an-quayle/

It's a curious thing how Dan Quayle went from being the clichéd heartbeat from the presidency to just dropping off the face of the earth. Like, a quarter century has passed and he's just vanished entirely from the political scene and popular imagination. In a weird way, I respect that he cashed out and went on to a quiet, dumb life, collecting paycheques and casually working to make ordinary lives worse. That is, he was never going to be a positive force in the world, but at least, in an era that especially valourizes dumb, rich, white guys, he's stayed quiet.

Robert Redford is still looking better.

[Dr. Medulla]

https://www.cerberus.com/our-firm/leade ... an-quayle/

It's a curious thing how Dan Quayle went from being the clichéd heartbeat from the presidency to just dropping off the face of the earth. Like, a quarter century has passed and he's just vanished entirely from the political scene and popular imagination. In a weird way, I respect that he cashed out and went on to a quiet, dumb life, collecting paycheques and casually working to make ordinary lives worse. That is, he was never going to be a positive force in the world, but at least, in an era that especially valourizes dumb, rich, white guys, he's stayed quiet.

Robert Redford is still looking better.

RR's face is the fine leather of a treasured baseball mitt.

[Mimi]

https://www.cerberus.com/our-firm/leade ... an-quayle/

It's a curious thing how Dan Quayle went from being the clichéd heartbeat from the presidency to just dropping off the face of the earth. Like, a quarter century has passed and he's just vanished entirely from the political scene and popular imagination. In a weird way, I respect that he cashed out and went on to a quiet, dumb life, collecting paycheques and casually working to make ordinary lives worse. That is, he was never going to be a positive force in the world, but at least, in an era that especially valourizes dumb, rich, white guys, he's stayed quiet.

Robert Redford is still looking better.

RR's face is the fine leather of a treasured baseball mitt.

The Natural.

[Dr. Medulla]

https://www.cerberus.com/our-firm/leade ... an-quayle/

It's a curious thing how Dan Quayle went from being the clichéd heartbeat from the presidency to just dropping off the face of the earth. Like, a quarter century has passed and he's just vanished entirely from the political scene and popular imagination. In a weird way, I respect that he cashed out and went on to a quiet, dumb life, collecting paycheques and casually working to make ordinary lives worse. That is, he was never going to be a positive force in the world, but at least, in an era that especially valourizes dumb, rich, white guys, he's stayed quiet.

Robert Redford is still looking better.

RR's face is the fine leather of a treasured baseball mitt.

The Natural.

I always scratch my head about the reverence people have for that movie. It's fine, nothing wrong with it, but it's treated as capturing the truth about baseball and life itself. Which is dumb—The Bad News Bears did that (I'm mostly serious about that, too).

[Mimi]

https://www.cerberus.com/our-firm/leade ... an-quayle/

It's a curious thing how Dan Quayle went from being the clichéd heartbeat from the presidency to just dropping off the face of the earth. Like, a quarter century has passed and he's just vanished entirely from the political scene and popular imagination. In a weird way, I respect that he cashed out and went on to a quiet, dumb life, collecting paycheques and casually working to make ordinary lives worse. That is, he was never going to be a positive force in the world, but at least, in an era that especially valourizes dumb, rich, white guys, he's stayed quiet.

Robert Redford is still looking better.

RR's face is the fine leather of a treasured baseball mitt.

The Natural.

I always scratch my head about the reverence people have for that movie. It's fine, nothing wrong with it, but it's treated as capturing the truth about baseball and life itself. Which is dumb—The Bad News Bears did that (I'm mostly serious about that, too).

I tried watching it but couldn't finish. I love RR but holy shit what a soggy cornflake performance. I love the Bad News Bears.

[Dr. Medulla]

Robert Redford is still looking better.

RR's face is the fine leather of a treasured baseball mitt.

The Natural.

I always scratch my head about the reverence people have for that movie. It's fine, nothing wrong with it, but it's treated as capturing the truth about baseball and life itself. Which is dumb—The Bad News Bears did that (I'm mostly serious about that, too).

I tried watching it but couldn't finish. I love RR but holy shit what a soggy cornflake performance. I love the Bad News Bears.

The only thing interesting about The Natural is that it was inspired, in part, by a true baseball story: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eddie_Waitkus

[Dr. Medulla]

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/lauren-b ... 444c790d8f

That guy'll be in jail with three years and once she's out of office I foresee Ponzi scheme/drug addiction.

[Mimi]

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/lauren-b ... 444c790d8f

That guy'll be in jail with three years and once she's out of office I foresee Ponzi scheme/drug addiction.

He disciplines them by making them run laps and do pushups. Whoa, he's a keeper.

[Dr. Medulla]

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/lauren-b ... 444c790d8f

That guy'll be in jail with three years and once she's out of office I foresee Ponzi scheme/drug addiction.

He disciplines them by making them run laps and do pushups. Whoa, he's a keeper.

He'll also show you his pecker as long as you're not too old.*

* 18 or worse.

[Mimi]

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/lauren-b ... 444c790d8f

That guy'll be in jail with three years and once she's out of office I foresee Ponzi scheme/drug addiction.

He disciplines them by making them run laps and do pushups. Whoa, he's a keeper.

He'll also show you his pecker as long as you're not too old.*

* 18 or worse.

I just heard part of the 911 call and I was ready to feel some sympathy for her situation but it sounded like she was covering for her husband. God, what a piece of shit.

[revbob]

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/lauren-b ... 444c790d8f

That guy'll be in jail with three years and once she's out of office I foresee Ponzi scheme/drug addiction.

My dad’s been fucking throwing me around the house

Good traditional family values

[Dr. Medulla]

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/lauren-b ... 444c790d8f

That guy'll be in jail with three years and once she's out of office I foresee Ponzi scheme/drug addiction.

He disciplines them by making them run laps and do pushups. Whoa, he's a keeper.

He'll also show you his pecker as long as you're not too old.*

* 18 or worse.

I just heard part of the 911 call and I was ready to feel some sympathy for her situation but it sounded like she was covering for her husband. God, what a piece of shit.

I'd have some sympathy if she weren't in a position of some influence and was using it to make her country more dystopic.